#the horror!!!! like have the two of them not suffered enough

[angstyandromanticwriting]

Ellie Williams X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute, and Fluffy Prompt [Full Version; a heavy WIP at this point!]

• Takes place after the events of the second game;

• Some details may be changed quite heavily [not exactly for certain yet; just a possibility] in the near future, when I work upon this idea again;

• Parts within this instalment + their transition indicted via the use of Roman Numerals;

• There will be more!

!TW(s): Mention of loss + death + guilt linked to it, implied suffering from depression, mention of theft/criminal activity, depiction of a dystopian atmosphere (an apocalypse + elements of horror), mention + presence of blood, implied mention of violence/a violent atmosphere + violence in general, implied having to commit murder + manslaughter, implied suffering from anxiety + separation anxiety, mention of a kidnapping + possible abuse + murder in general, a general lawlessness, being wounded, presence of weaponry (both implied and physical), mention of a car crash, an implied break-up, swearing, mention of maiming/body mutilation, implied sexual occurrence taking place - if I’ve missed any, please feel free to let me know; thank you!

Care for Each Other/Not Anymore

I

It didn’t take Ellie long to decide she should leave Jackson again. What did she have left there, anyway? Sure, there were the remnants of a past life, including what she’d built alongside Tommy, Maria, and the others who’d decided to join them along the way, but now that she’d lost Joel, Dina, and Jesse, what was the point in fighting to keep what was gone alive anymore? All that was left was a memory - a singular memory, combining each moment she spent with each of them into a dark void of regret, and even heavier a portal for crushing guilt to ambush her the way it did, every night she lay in Wyoming, wondering where she should go next, now that so much of what had made up her own life had been burnt down to nothing, but a few ashes, and unashamed drops of tears separating them.

She had to try and harden her heart against all of what had taken place, and she decided to make further decisions as she packed up what she knew she’d need into the last rucksack she had left, the others she’d ever got her hands on just broken and worn mesh she kept under her bed in the makeshift town they’d all put together in Jackson, a few years ago now. She knew it wouldn’t be enough, eventually - of course she did; nothing lasted forever, that much had already been made clear to her, several times before now. She sighed gravely; the anger was still there - no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get rid of it. She only hoped she could try and dissolve it the further she ended up travelling, if ever she did end up going through with it.

That wasn’t to say she liked to engage in the thoughts of a doubtful mind. If anything, they only ended up frustrating her. She forced the last of her canned goods into the bag, before pressing herself up off of her bed, only to falter again when she noticed the guitar Joel gave her stood - lonely, and grim - in the corner of the room. Her eyes darkened a little, and she tried to ignore the emptiness she began to sport again, but she couldn’t forget it, rolling her eyes, before she walked a little half-heartedly and unsteadily toward the instrument. Though she knew it didn’t make her feel the way it did before - and was certainly hard to play, with two fingers less than what she’d had before - she couldn’t give up. Joel wouldn’t want her to.

In a way, neither would she, or Dina, but the excess thinking only added to the pain she tried to conceal all over again.

She carefully slung the guitar over her shoulder, the weight feeling only too familiar, and for a moment she was cursed to remember every word Joel had sung to her, a few years ago. She grunted, shaking her head subconsciously as if it would do anything to conceal her, but - again - there was nothing she herself could do to fix what had already been inflicted upon her. Maybe she’d come back one day - who knows? However, for now, she saw no other option, but to take her travels elsewhere again. She wouldn’t go too far, though, she speculated - if she was needed, then she could be close by, just-.. not here. Anywhere, but here again, at least until the near future.

Once she’d got outside, she whistled for the new Shimmer - a steed she’d managed to steal from the stables without recognition, given the WLF’s costing the loss of her old mare, as well - and her mare whinnied in response to her call, before tossing her head slightly, and then offering it for Ellie to stroke. Of course she couldn’t resist - whoever could, a creature so beautiful? She smiled softly - at least there were some things still light and warm in the world that had grown so much colder overtime. She pet her companion’s neck, before attaching her rucksack to the mare’s saddle. For a moment, she couldn’t help, but hesitate again, looking back in the direction of the city she missed, when it hadn’t been wounded by so many demons the way it had, before, so many unnecessary deaths it made her herself feel dead inside, to some extent.

She knew she shouldn’t dwell on it for too long, forcing a smile back up at Shimmer, before she climbed onto her steed’s saddle, unhitched her, and eased her with grave reluctance into a trot, back away heavily from the farmstead. She wondered if she’d regret it, eventually, and she guessed she had only herself to blame, when she found herself in almost completely new territory.

II

You yourself weren’t always content with your own life. Things had taken a toll on both of you, as was often the case in situations like these, with the ever progressing apocalypse and all. You hadn’t been subject to much of a childhood to enjoy, either, and often had to shed blood just to get by, and the blood aforementioned that you and your family spilt was not just the blood of the infected, old and new.

You leaned heavily against one of the hitch posts you and Shalyla, your half-sister, had set up all on your own. The others were often busy either finding more supplies, or running a perimeter check. The rotor often ran like that; the days were full of theft without consequences, blood-shed where needs be, and sleep where sleep could be had. How else could your lives be lived, when constantly at threat of things alive, or dead?

“Lyla,” you acknowledged gently, as she appeared around the corner of one of the wind-battered tents to the right of your frame. You wondered if she’d been crying again, noticing that her eyes were red, as a loose strand of light blonde hair stuck freshly to her left cheek, before she brushed it away, and smiled a weaker than usual smile back at you.

“It’s a quiet night, isn’t it?” She mused, not daring to look back at you like before as she, too, leaned upon the post also unoccupied beside you. You didn’t know what you could say to appease her thoughts, nodding slowly, before you bowed your head a little, feeling utterly useless and colder than you ever had before. “It’s not been this quiet, since-”

“We’re gonna find her, Lyla,” you managed, a pained expression on your face as you spoke through the lump forming within your throat, nodding determinedly as your eyes shone a little more in the darkness as soon as your’s too grew wet like her’s had, earlier, ever since the moment she’d come back to you, and declared your and her little sister missing, after you’d allowed her to go off one morning with your sister, as well as your mother and closest associates, here. You still blamed yourself, sometimes. Still thought about her, every moment of every day, wondering if maybe - just maybe - she could still be alive out there, waiting for you to come find her again. “She’s not gone; she was never gone - we can’t just say that she’s-”

“But what if she is?” Lyla interjected through gritted teeth, her voice sounding a little more strained than it did, before. You didn’t blame her, if it were a sign of hatred; you only hoped that she was directing it toward you, and not yourself. It was your ignorant idea anyway, you never thought she could just up and disappear like that, but you guessed you probably should have, right?

You scoffed to yourself, before shaking your head gravely as Shalyla watched after you, as if silently begging for you an answer to your and her new problem in life, as things often go. You didn’t know if you’d be able to reciprocate her gaze, without letting your façade drop, revealing every second of pain you’d had to endure, since the day she’d gone. Instead, you kept your head low, hands fisted at your sides as you fought back the tears, not wanting to inflict anymore pain upon Shalyla, too, alongside you. You certainly didn’t notice the way she scowled down at the ground after that, her eyebrows furrowing together as if she were trying to figure things out again.

“You need to sleep,” you murmured simply, your voice threatening to tremble again as she rolled her eyes, before turning to face you completely as if ready to protest again, but you got there before she could, enforcing a sharper tone to your voice no matter how much it cost you mentally to do so toward her - especially her, after everything the both of you had been through together, at this point in time, hearts bleeding together every night; every second, of every day, and still you didn’t know what else to do, as you hardened your heart against her again, before allowing the following command to slip your lips all over again: “you heard me, Lyla - go to bed, okay? We don’t need you out here right now; the others’ll be back soon, and I can take over the next search with someone else, instead, okay?”

You couldn’t deny that it hurt, seeing the shattered expression now residing upon her face, in response to your harsh words. She shook her head defiantly, but the look of disarray and betrayal of sharp juncture didn’t go remiss by your gaze, even before she’d made to try and argue again, like she had before.

“But, no, you - you can’t do that! You promised me we’d go together,” she hissed, and you sighed heavily as you nodded gravely, making every recollection that you had in fact made such a promise to her, not long ago, now, “what, so you’d rather me not help you, when she’s my little sister, too? Our family, and nobody else’s? Is that just the way things are now, between us? Because I don’t think I like it, at all; the - the way you’re making things go, now. Look, I know you’re the ‘big boss’ around here, but-”

“Lyla,” you began again a little more exasperatedly, but she didn’t budge, continuing without hesitation with new vigour against you, but at that moment you heard the approach of heavy hooves on solid ground, and you found you couldn’t hear her anymore, looking toward the entrance of the temporary camp you’d all set up together within the remnants of Dixie National Forest. What it used to be, anyway, before the apocalypse had begun to spread further and further across the country, soon becoming unmanageable on all sides of the gambit.

Olivia rode in first, looking positively panic-stricken as her grey standardbred neighed beneath her in what sounded like it could be a confused state of fright, her rider panting above her as the two came to a stop a few paces away from you and Shalyla.

You didn’t hesitate, rushing up to her and her steed as you held the mare’s reins, and anxiously looked up at one of your closest friends over the years, her cheeks looking whiter than they ever had before.

“What happened?” You asked a little more breathlessly, but there were still dangerous undertones beneath your words, Olivia easily looking shaken by them herself as she tried to recover herself further, before managing one word that easily sent shivers down your spine, whenever you were cursed to hear it, the way you did again, then, your heart already pounding too fast, especially when you began to grow more intensely aware of the absence of Bianca, another of your and Shalyla’s companions as you tried to fight the growing apocalypse together, even in the earliest of years, somehow. “Bianca,” you managed, your eyes widening all the more as your hands shook a little alongside Olivia’s, but still it took her a moment to speak. The dreadful word came when you least expected it.

You extended your left hand toward Shalyla, as if requesting her help, but before she could even get to you, you heard just about the most dreadful of screams. You dropped the reins, and before you even knew it you were making for the stable, only briefly looking back toward the two of them only to make out the word ‘hunters’ slipping from Olivia’s now paler than usual lips.

There was only one thing you knew for sure, now: the hunters had fucked you over before, but when it came to family, you would do anything to stop them, no matter what that meant for yourself, at the end of the day.

III

Ellie couldn’t deny that she hadn’t made it very far, before she encountered another wave of infected. However, they weren’t focused on her - not yet, anyway. Where the Stalkers were travelling, alongside a mere few Clickers, was another wave of commotion she had yet to discover in a hunt of more clarity. In a way, she knew she may be better off just turning Shimmer around, and finding another way to get by. But she was too tired to make a few more shortcuts to get where she believed she needed to be, right now. A new atmosphere; new - if not permanent - home; a new beginning to her life. She had to get it right eventually, right?

She drew her slightly trembly right hand across her eyes, eyelids drooping heavily at this point, but she slowly followed behind the infected, surprised none of them had yet noticed her, though she travelled far behind them enough to guarantee at least a delayed battle, if it had to come down to one, this far into her journey. It only became an action easier regrettable, especially when she saw the too familiar black motors ahead of her.

IV

“How far?” You began again a little apprehensively, galloping alongside Olivia and Shalyla, the two looking almost as wary as you did, right now.

As others travelled close behind your trio formation, you wondered how far you’d actually make it against the hunters, without having to suffer more and more losses of the team the way you had, the fights you’d encountered before with the group. Olivia looked as if it terrified her; the thought of even speaking again, and you wondered what just had they done to her, before she’d returned to you, minus Bianca beside her, the way they’d gone earlier that day.

“Utah, on the border,” she breathed a little shakily in response to you, not once her gaze moving from where it was, now. You were certain, even then, that you’d kill as many of them as you could, before they could bring you down with them, somehow, if ever they managed to. “We’re close,” your companion added, and you subconsciously glanced toward your sister, wondering what she herself was thinking about, during this tense moment in time. You didn’t have to wonder, much longer.

“The hunters,” she began slowly, through the strain of gritted teeth, “do - do you think they-?”

She could hardly contain her composure, grimacing ahead of her as tears brimmed into the pools of her eyes, lighting them up in the dark the way they had, earlier, before Olivia had returned with such a grave announcement, the way she had. In some ways, you wished you didn’t know what had been plaguing her current thoughts, now.

“We won’t know what happened, until we find her, okay?” You murmured, and Shalyla tensed up, not sure as she reluctantly glanced back toward you, as if she were trying to determine if the answer you’d given was good enough, or too vague for her own liking. You didn’t give her time to consider enough, not wanting yourself to delve too far into it, though it made something within you shatter a little more each time you thought about it, knowing you should try and at least show you cared more, because you truly did; you never intended to convey to her any notion otherwise, the way you could see you had, now. “Look, Lyla,” you began again slowly, Olivia ducking her head a little as if ducking herself under an invisible branch, “I told you before that - that when things go missing, l-like a pet, or a pen, or whatever - it can be found, right? It isn’t gone; she isn’t gone, so she can be found, and we’re going to find her - promise me you know that, please, before we get to them-”

“You think they’ll kill us, don’t you?” Shalyla guessed, and you winced, not sure how to answer at first, but the dejected expression on your sibling’s face made it so much easier for the words to roll harshly off of your tongue, before they lingered, and burnt at the atmosphere around all of you, ready to strike at the hunters with new, and much - much fiercer - velocity. “That - That they’ll-”

“They’re not going to kill us, Lyla,” you interjected simply, your voice a lot bolder than it was, before, “I just want to hear you say it, before we rip their throats out, and have to wait again until later to talk again like we do - you get that, right? So promise me, please - it has to be now, okay? Not later, not tomorrow - now, because I can’t have you going in there without you knowing through to your bones that we will come out of this a family again, okay? Will you do it? Please say you’ll do it, Lyla - say something, at least - for god’s sake, say something!”

“I promise,” she managed, and you couldn’t help, but smile softly over at her, glad that she at least still had some faith in you, even after everything that had taken place, by now, but neither of you had much time to dwell on it, before the gunfire started, and you were torn from your horse’s saddle again.

V

Of course Ellie remembered them; how one had callously - specifically - crashed into the side of the car she and Joel had been gifted a few years ago, to get her to where she needed to be delivered, before, only for Joel to save her the way he had, realising something she still - and probably would never know, now - had no clue at all about, given that he’d lied about the result of the ordeal at hand, before. These cars - they belonged to the ruthless hunters, a group she’d been hoping to never run into again, for a little while now. If it weren’t for the screaming and rapturing gunfire she heard nearby - a few paces away, now, from the infected - she knew she’d probably avoid them, but that wasn’t who she was.

Instead, she pressed on, but sometimes she still wondered why she was even bothering with helping anyone, anymore.

VI

You guessed you still had some things to learn about the hunters, or - more specifically - the cruelty of people, as a collective. You fell from your steed, an agonising grunt escaping you as you hit the ground, the back of your head violently colliding with the solid surface beneath you, leaving everything suddenly quite blurry and darker than the world ever had been, before. You winced, hearing the laughter of the hunters, and the cries as well as shouts of your companions. You felt lost, for a moment, but it came somehow with a sense of peace. You couldn’t deny - shamefully - that you thought of how things would be, if you just let go of everything, and allowed the sensation to take you away, instead of carry you further into a life of oftentimes pain and torment, the way it had, before.

But you couldn’t leave your family. You pressed yourself up off of the ground, gritting your teeth fitfully as glassy pains ran through your right shoulder, what felt like the warm oozing of blood leaking from it, beneath your current and often usual attire; dark grey jacket, a usually dirty green top (all the more worn whenever you yourself went out on territory cleansing runs like these), already staining a little with the blood that escaped from your wound, the way that it was, now.

“Y/n!” You heard Shalyla cry for you from a few paces ahead of where you’d fallen, her keeping a hold on the reins of your horse as you tried to pull yourself fully off of the ground, and back up onto your toes, but you couldn’t hold yourself for long, cursing shakily as you had to grip unstably onto the tree, your left shoulder making it a bit easier for you to do so without your muscles giving up on you the way they did, within your right arm. “Shit,” you thought you heard her utter as more gunfire sounded out, the laughs dying down steadily, but you couldn’t see where the new bouts of commotion and sheer rage were coming from, now, the hunters being hit from an opposite angle not quite in view, yet.

Your head reeled from the pain of every explosion that sounded out following your fall, you even having to try and cover your ears pretty much unsuccessfully to try and stop it from hurting as much. It was then you remembered Bianca, and wondered where the hell they’d taken her to, now. If they had got her hands on her, anyway, before you’d showed up alongside the others to try and take them all back down, again.

“There!” Another of your friends cried out, as if to answer your question, and your heart dropped in an instant when you noticed the struggling and quite limp figure of who was unmistakably the splitting image of your ex-girlfriend, but still close companion to your cause, and very own family, Bianca.

The emptiness came back again, and you found your eyes glued to her as they darkened, watching how blood occasionally spluttered out from her lips, as her chest rose too fast, then too slow, as if she were still trying to cling onto whatever life left she still had within her, after what they had done to her, not too long ago, now.

“No,” you managed, not sure what else to do, at first, as everything seemed to fail you, your legs stuck where they were, small tears being allowed to leak down your cheeks as you watched the struggle go on, fury burning through the last of your veins; the very core of your own soul, in its entirety. If there was anything left that you knew, now, it was nothing short of how you knew for a fact that someday, and somehow, you would make them all pay. They were still trying to take everything away from you, and for no good reason whatsoever, and for once it would be nice if you could avenge those who had been taken away from you wrongfully, if only the day could come sooner, by now.

As soon as you could move, you ran for her frame, before allowing your legs to fail beneath you once you’d finally reached her, and could carefully ease her body close to your own. You paid no attention to the remnants of gunfire that rang out around you, instead trying to protect her frame as she shook fitfully within your arms, a horrific gurgling sound escaping her lips more consistently than her heart was managing to beat, at this point. You burned with it, your hands hardly being able to stop shaking as you allowed yourself to get lost in her again, crying quietly as you connected your forehead to her own, lifting your left hand up to the top of her head as if you were afraid of them targeting her still, though she herself had gone beyond caring about what may, or may not happen to her, at this point, her being virtually on death's door herself, already.

"Y/n," Shalyla's voice rang out above the two of you, but you paid her no heed, even as she grew more desperate to try and get you and the others out of the situation again. "Y/n, please, we - we have to go! They're distracted, now's the time that we have to-”

"I'm not leaving," you spat, your voice shaking as she faltered in response to your words; your sharp tone, despite the pain that was interlaced within it, making up its very core, the way that it was

now. “I can’t, not - not without-”

“She won’t make it,” Olivia managed dejectedly, and you faltered yourself this time, your heart somehow dropping further than it did before as you shook your head gravely, not wanting to hear such words from anyone, especially not her and the others; people you considered heavily to be your family, therefore much involved and clued up on how much Bianca meant, and still means to you, the way she did ever since you’d even first met her, somewhere back in Palmdale. You couldn’t be sure what part of the city, now, considering it had been a few hefty years ago, now. “Y/n, please, we can’t stay here,” she begged, and you didn’t know what to do with yourself anymore, stuck on the notion that you could save her, somehow, if only you still could; if only you’d all got there faster than you had, meaning maybe that she wouldn’t be in such a poor state, now. “She’s already bled out too much,” Olivia insisted slowly, “besides, we don’t even have the resources enough to keep her going long enough for us to get back to Dixie!”

“What? So you’d rather just - just abandon her here, without even trying to keep her with us?” You questioned hoarsely, your throat burning with each word as a lump grew within it, making it all the more harder to speak as the gunfire went on behind you. “You of all people should know, Olivia, that that is not what we do here,” you spat, before you carefully gathered Bianca up, and off of the ground, no matter how much it further pained your right shoulder to do so right now, in the state that it was. “Get me one of the kits!” You called to the few companions still waiting there behind you and the others, as the ones gone were assisting in the bloodshed of the hunters that had decided to mess with you and your friends one too many times, now. “Didn’t you guys hear me? I need a kit - now!” You cried, evidently growing all the more desperate as every second passed by, Bianca’s strained and raspy breaths growing ever quieter as you did, indicating a steady down spiral of life, in its last moments, for her, only breaking you down more than anything ever had before, before this moment in time. “Please,” you begged, as they all warily looked amongst each other, not sure what to do, but they themselves knew that it was too late for Bianca, as well, no matter how much it pained them alongside the others to think in such a grave manner as they were having to do so, right now. “Fine,” you uttered, burning with the pain and sheer agony of it all as you stared them all down for a brief moment, before returning your gaze back down to Bianca’s bloody frame, “I’ll take her back there, myself, and patch her up there - I don’t need you guys’ help anyway; not anymore.”

But you didn’t get very far - of course you didn’t. Not before the incoming wave of infected that had been trailing - ever so attracted to the commotion at hand - had fallen upon you both, but - in a way - the idea of dying didn’t scare you anymore, not if it meant you could be with Bianca again, as well as less of a burden to the remnants of your now fractured - clearly - family and friends, not too far away from you both, now.

VII

You guessed the future had other plans for you, still, though you couldn’t imagine why.

Ellie had managed to create quite a hole within the numbers of the hunters who had decided to ambush you, and your family, as was oftentimes the case, whenever she found herself involved with them, somehow. She didn’t care to call it luck anymore - what would the point be? In some ways, she didn’t know why she ever considered it in such a way, before. It was skill - of course it was. She carefully pulled herself up into one of the trees the hunters had taken to hiding within, and - with a cry of alarm - another revealed themselves, making to shoot her down, but she got to him first, managing to swing herself recklessly from one branch to another, before she brought her legs up and over herself to kick the man down from his post. He fell, of course he did.

She didn’t hesitate to aim her own gun down at him, before pulling the trigger, and embedding a couple of bullets or so into him, one lodged in his throat, the other in his forehead. She didn’t bother to watch him die, looking out for any others, but the area had fallen relatively quiet since she’d taken him down. Although, she could have sworn she’d seen other attackers here. They didn’t look like hunters, but she still knew she should be cautious in her next steps, nonetheless. Instead of taking any further rash movements, she dropped down from the branch she was clinging to, before looking timidly around herself again, and wondering if the other life forms had since then run off, as if they were scared she’d take them down, too, if they’d even noticed her, that is.

She couldn’t say she’d got much of a look at them, but what she did get was enough to determine that they were preoccupied, no matter what the situation at hand might be. As soon as she was satisfied that she was now alone again, and - hearing the approaching wave of infected she knew she should at least try and avoid, just for the purpose of her journey and current mental state - she ran back to Shimmer, and sought to continue her journey.

VIII

Of course it ended up being you who had to interfere in that. Sure, you’d tried your best in the end, to keep yourself and Bianca safe, but there were too many of the wave to clear, and you couldn’t get any further than you had managed, so far. It would have probably been a safer bet, that you’d picked up more ammo than you had, at the start of this very day. In all fairness, though, as you fought harshly in your head with your doubtful consciousness - you didn’t know the infected would come with a helping of hunters, the way that it had, today.

Bianca started fitfully within your arms, a pained expression on her face as she looked up at you through dark and hopeless eyes, small tears lingering within them, only for you to delicately brush them away whenever you could, without hurting her in the process, somehow.

“I’m here, baby,” you cooed in a strained manner, a dejected look upon your own face as if you were trying not to break down in front of her again, only for you to remember that you said you wouldn’t call her that anymore after you’d both broken up recently, but it had slipped from your lips so fast that it made your heart ache with everything surrounding it; the memories, especially, before the fight you’d had with her had taken place, before, “I’m here, okay? I - I’ll never leave you again, I promise, I-”

The infected were getting closer, clickers twitching fitfully in the distance whilst their contemporaries howled with frustration and anger, as if they were still trying to figure out how to get to you both, somehow, when you were just on the other side of the willow tree they were approaching, tears streaming down your cheeks no matter how much you tried to fight them back, alongside the girl you held in your arms, still.

Bianca tried to speak, but her lips moved soundlessly, and were dreadfully pale. You shook your head, lifting your left hand up to her right cheek, prompting her to wince a little at the touch upon slightly sorer skin, but she nonetheless allowed herself to melt into it, her heart pounding faintly in her chest, still, though it had a few moments ago felt as if it were just on the cusp of giving up, the way that it had been, before.

“Just rest, now,” you added gently, “you need it, okay? If you won’t do it for me, do it for yourself, and the others - please; Bianca, I-.. we need you - we always have, and we always will, just-.. stay with me, please; don’t - don’t go - not - not like this, okay?”

Your throat felt raw; it was taking you a lot, not to just put your gun to your head, but you knew that wouldn’t do you any good, now. You had no more bullets left, anyway, and you couldn’t leave Bianca and the others, no matter what divisions you find yourselves in, the way you were, right now - or, at least, you thought you were, after they’d neglected to patch her up the way you’d begged them to, earlier.

“Please,” you pleaded again, your voice coming out as more of a whisper, this time, it cracking almost as consistently as your whole existence was, with it, and you silently cursed her at the same time for letting her eyelids grow heavier than they ever had, before. “Bianca, just - just stay with me, okay? Stay with me!” You cried, and your shoulders shook as you began to break down, not sure what to do with yourself anymore.

“Run,” she managed, and her voice was so small, and wet with the blood that had been escaping her too quickly, the way that it was, now, but you didn’t dare leave her like that; you couldn’t, and - even as you could hear the infected growing ever closer to the tree - you still didn’t leave her side, not until the others had found you again, before descending upon the infected, and leaving you feeling nothing, but numb inside, and out, without her beside you again, the way that she had been, all those times before.

IX

By the time Ellie had successfully made it around the wave, only having to eliminate two of the Infected in the process, the group were gradually beginning to struggle, a couple more being bitten as they tried to keep the life forms away from you, as well as their horses. Your eyes never left Bianca’s frame, your heart aching steadily with the distance, and you struggled whenever the odd Runner or Stalker tried to get close to her, only to be shot down by Shalyla, noticing the dejected expression on your face that did finally make her cave in to trying to protect the girl again. Besides, she knew it would be horrible for her, to have so much pain inflicted upon her by the hunters, only to be worsened by jaws and claws of the Infected that had decided to join the congregation, here.

She’d successfully downed another, when Ellie grunted, decided to give in, as she readied her gun again, but she was alarmed by a piercing cry as you struggled against Olivia’s hold, desperate to get to Bianca’s now lifeless frame, seeing as Shalyla had now run out of bullets herself, deeming her body more vulnerable that it ever was, before. It didn’t take much longer for you to break free from your friend’s hold, you elbowing her in the stomach without thinking, before you bolted toward Bianca again, and took on the approaching Runner yourself. Of course, without any weapons to defend yourself with, by now, such a fleeting notion was not met with much luck, on your part.

You’d succeeded to avoid being administered any bites from the enemy, but soon it had you down on the ground, yourself, you trying to fight back tears still as you gritted your teeth against it, holding it as far back as you could from getting any closer to your bare neck as it almost had, whilst you’d had your guard down, for a brief moment. A second or two, at least, just so you could look over at what you’d lost so quickly, and unexpectedly, before you’d returned your gaze to the creature, scowling up at it with nothing, but pure hatred behind your darkened and weaker gaze. Ellie could see what was coming, even before it did. You were due to lose, if she didn’t step in; everyone was distracted, held up in their own battles - even poor Shalyla; this was more than what the group had expected there to be, and soon there’d be more Infected of them than there were true people, before.

She didn’t think to describe them as ‘good’; could people even be good anymore, or had the way things are now driven them all to insanity, as well as nothing, but a bold red greed clouding each and every one of their visions? She hoped, in some ways, that wasn’t all true, especially not for herself. She’d only ever done what she had to protect the people she loved, and nothing good seemed to come of that anyway. She sighed, before clicking the safety off of her weapon, and aiming it steadily at the Runner still snapping its jaws above you.

“Here we go again, I guess,” she remarked under her breath, before positioning her finger on the trigger as best she could, and allowing the bullet to slip from the barrel without a moment’s hesitation. The doubts came after, as the bullet embedded itself into the enemy’s head, splattering its blood upon your face as you winced a little, but it wasn’t something you weren’t used to, so it didn’t bother you much. What did, though, was how you couldn’t see where the bullet had come from, nor could you determine who had been the one to shoot the Runner down for you. You couldn’t think about it for too long, before another Infected - a Clicker, this time - stalked toward you, shrieking horridly as if in a nightmare, but again - from nowhere you could decipher - it had been shot down faster than it came.

You narrowed your eyes toward your invisible defender, and - for a moment - you believed you tricked yourself into seeing the hoof of a horse behind the brushes opposite you that Ellie was currently hidden behind, almost grinning with how comical the situation was, you still trying to see her, though it seemed useless to do so, at this point, but at the same time she wondered why she even cared, searching through the lens of her guns’ spyglass to seek out anyone else in need of her assistance, like you had been, a brief moment ago.

There were tons of them. Both Infected, and suffering humans. She took down as many of the snarling and clicking creatures as she could, though she still couldn’t think why she’d even bother, at this point in time. She’d lost so much as a result of this whole mess of an apocalypse, and still she was fighting. Maybe one day she’d figure out why, considering there seemed to be even less to fight for, now, the way that she had been, before.

The distraction of the rapid gunfire was enough to give you time to recompose yourself. You eased yourself toward Bianca, a pained expression on your face as you surveyed her quietly, not sure what to do with yourself, anymore. She still had her emergency pistol tucked away in her jacket; the hunters hadn’t found it, that much you could tell, not that they’d have any need of it, anyway. It looked like they’d been beating her, more than embedding bullets within her wherever they could. There was a horrible moment, you found yourself thinking of your little sister again - had they done anything like this to her, too, if they’d ever even managed to find her before you and the others could?

You scowled, cursing yourself for your wandering thoughts, the way that they were, and made you feel even more shattered and tired than you’d ever been, before. You slipped her pistol out of its secret holster, before you scavenged for the shiv you’d gifted to her for her birthday, a small engraving of her favourite animal upon its blade, followed by the initials ‘B.W.’, for ‘Bianca White’, and you faltered as soon as your left hand fell upon what felt like its sheath. You hesitated for a moment; it didn’t feel right to be taking it off of her - it was her’s, after all, and you wanted nothing, for it to keep being her own, no matter where she was, now.

You sighed, before nodding gravely, and taking it out of the sheath though it pained you to do so, and not just because of the way your right shoulder continued to throb, the way it did. You promised to return it; of course you did, even if she couldn’t hear it anymore - it was rightfully her’s. Besides, you only needed it to fight the remaining Infected that dare come any closer to her off, now, if your helper allowed you to do so, anyway, seeing as they were so insistent on doing them in, by themself, the way that they were, right now.

Eventually, there were too many for just Ellie to handle, on your behalf. You stabbed the shiv into each of them, digging it as deep as you could within their rotting bodies to try and help her as well as yourself as best you could, for Bianca’s sake, as much as your own, though you didn’t care whatever the future had in store for you, anymore, after today - not now. You fancied you did quite well, but even thoughts such as those you didn’t care for anymore; positivity such as that had left you, with the loss of Bianca, as dark as it made you feel inside, and outside, with no hope of rising up to the surface again. You believed that would end up being the case, anyway. Who wouldn’t, during times like these, now?

There were only a few more Infected that had to be taken down, but they weren’t anywhere near you, anymore, so Ellie diverted her attention again, and you warily surveyed the situation. Two more had gone down, by the time you’d made your decision. You crouched down beside Bianca again, your bottom lip trembling a little as you carefully returned the shiv to its sheath, after wiping it delicately upon one of the fallen leaves surrounding the area. You then lifted your left hand up to her right cheek again, remembering how she’d told you the day before that she’d been thinking about things for a little while, before she asked if the both of you could meet up and talk a little later today. The blow was worse, when you remembered that that wouldn’t be happening for you both, anymore. Not today. Or tomorrow. Or next year.

Not unless you did something about it. You grimaced, pressing your lips into a thin line as you gritted your teeth again, looking behind you to make sure the others were distracted. They were, still finishing up their own fights as you felt for the pistol to make sure it was still tucked away within your own holster. You allowed a small sigh of relief to escape you, before you smiled feebly down at her below you, only for it to falter as soon as you were reminded of the situation at hand here; you should have got there quicker for her. You could have saved her - deep within you, you knew you could, and that almost hurt you more than anything else ever had before, but not as much as it felt, to know she was just gone, now, not lost, just gone, with no hope of revival.

You nodded gravely, trying to accept that fact, but it was impossible, so you brushed over it, and leaned down for a brief moment to delicately connect your lips to her own, no matter how much it pained you to do so, not caring at all about the blood that stained your own lips from hers’, the way it did after you’d kissed her the way you had, so soft as if you’d been afraid you’d break her, if you lost yourself within her again.

“I love you,” you whispered shakily, even if she couldn’t hear it; you just wanted her to know, before you could try and end everything the way you hoped you could do so, soon. Whether it could reunite the two of you again, you didn’t know, but you were more than willing to try. The others would be fine, now; you were sure they would be. What would be left of you, anyway, if you didn’t do this, now? You pressed another delicate goodbye to her forehead, before forcing yourself to your feet again, and making to get far away enough from the others, so they couldn’t stop you like you knew they might try to do so, if you stayed there beside her body to do it, instead.

You should have known even that wasn’t good enough a plan, as Ellie caught onto your disappearance in almost immediate effect, before she noticed how the brambles you’d been perched by before shook as if somebody had passed through, or over them. She didn’t hesitate, before guiding her mare forward to chase you as fast as she possibly could, but it didn’t take her long to catch sight of you again, the barrel of the pistol pressed to the left side of your head as if you were ready - right then and there - to take everything away again, but she couldn’t let you give up like that, though she couldn’t think why; she’d seen it happen before, but nothing could be done to stop it by herself, or Joel.

No matter who you were, she couldn’t let you suffer the same fate, not for no particular reason, anyway, that might prompt her to want you dead, though it made her feel bad to have such a thought in response to the matter at hand, here. Perhaps that was why she hesitated for a moment, lifting her gun back up as she held Shimmer to a standstill below her, so she could get a good aim to try and shoot the gun out of your hand, perhaps, if she could manage to do so, anyway. It was no doubt to her that she could; she’d handled things with much precision, before, and this time was no different - of course it wasn’t. She readied her finger upon the trigger again, her eyes narrowing a little as you seemed to be crying quietly again, somehow making her ache a bit more to hear such a painful sound escaping you.

She couldn’t hesitate any longer than she had - not now, as she drew in a deep breath, and pulled the trigger, but the gun didn’t fire, and she cursed quietly, but she didn’t have the time to react any further as she was suddenly grabbed from behind by the collar of her hoodie, only to be pulled off of her horse again, and pinned to the ground like she had been, the day she’d lost Joel. It only brought the memories back again, exactly what she’d not wanted to happen, the way it did, but it didn’t last for long. Not when someone was suddenly standing a few paces away from her, commanding the attacker to let her go for reasons currently unbeknownst to her, if there were any, anyway.

It never occurred to her that you had as much power as you did within the group, but she guessed she didn’t know you like that, as she lifted her gaze, only to find that you were holding a gun to the attacker’s head, the way you were, now, and for a brief moment, she knew it was all over; she’d been caught, and maybe you’d get the others to kill her, so she never expected you to give her the freedom that you did, especially when she’d effectively invaded what she supposed could be your own territory. She wouldn’t take that for granted, no matter what the cost might be.

X

She didn’t know why, but she decided to go back to where you and the others were residing; the pull of fatigue was enough, at this point, to dissuade her from travelling any further than she already had, from Wyoming, now to the remnants of Dixie National Forest. She stayed there a little while, and already she knew half of the group’s names like she knew the back of her hands; the chords behind her melodies. You hadn’t left the tent you’d disappeared into, the interior dark and miserable like nothing she’d ever seen before, besides those abandoned buildings she’d been lucky(?) enough to come across. That was a fact still questionable to her, however; how all her explorations had made her feel, after all this time, now. Most of all, she wondered a lot about you, and that annoyed her, in more ways than one.

One way would be that she’d only just met you, today. Well, she hadn’t even met you, yet; you’d saved her, but hadn’t in turn said a word to her, at all. You were dismissive with your companions during their interrogation of your choices, in regard to what should be done with her, given none of you knew her, the only thing they had to go off on being how she’d assisted in the fight against not just the Infected, but the remaining hunters, alongside them. It irritated her so much, that she couldn’t focus properly, almost losing another of her fingers as she chopped off some chunks of the bread she’d been offered by your sibling, Shalyla.

It wasn’t half bad, when she’d finally got past the stage of preparation, not that it was needed, anyway. She could eat as if she were starving, and aching with it, but she didn’t feel like presenting herself in such a manner, too tired to be too ravenous anyway, even if she had been running quite low on her own supplies, lately.

“Where did you come from?” The girl asked her, and the question made her tense up a little as her skeptical gaze met with great reluctance the stranger, given that she’d not yet put a name to her face just yet, like she had already most of the others who had been a little more communicative toward her, as if they saw her as a friend, and not a possible foe, somehow, even though they’d only just met her, today, and not known her for years like she assumed they had each other, by now, although she’d not been made aware of any record of them, at all.

“Why d’you wanna know?” She questioned in turn, before swallowing down another chunk of the bread she’d picked off from the part she’d been given, earlier. “You wanna use it against me?” She guessed, and Shalyla frowned, looking a little disappointed, but she guessed she understood why Ellie would think in such a manner about her and the others in residence, here. Ellie softened; truth be told she felt guilty, in a way, for reacting like that, so she decided to answer her question anyway, albeit relatively quite vaguely, regardless of such a kindness as it was, given the situation she was finding herself in, by now. “Boston,” she admitted, her voice a little quieter than it was before, but not because she wanted it to be a secret; she just didn’t have much willpower left to talk a lot about it, anymore, “I’ve been in many other places, since then, but-.. yeah, I’m originally from Boston.” Shalyla appeared taken aback; Boston was quite far from here, after all, but even that was probably an understatement in regard to the true placements of such areas, compared to others against it. “Are you just from around here, or-? What’s the deal with you guys, anyway?” She inquired, genuinely finding herself quite curious into the new group’s own origins, in comparison to her’s and the others back in Jackson, but she deemed it understandable for now, given she only recently had just met them as a collective, the way that she did, earlier, having to save pretty much all of the remaining’s asses, including your’s and Shalyla’s, from a gruesome as well as certainly untimely death.

She didn’t know if she should find it comforting, or not, though, to determine that most of the people here were her age, or something just above it. She shrugged the thought off, instead picking at her bread again as she awaited patiently for the girl to answer her the way she’d had to answer her own question, a brief moment ago, now.

“Me and my sister came here from Palmdale,” Shalyla answered nonchalantly, “some of the others said they came from around there, too, whilst most of our new friends came here from Constance, or Colorado.” She smiled softly, and Ellie couldn’t deny she felt a bit safer, by now, everyone seeming more-.. well, friendly, than she expected them to be, especially after one of the others had put a gun to her head, earlier, only for you to chide them for doing so the way that you had, then. “We’ve never had anyone come from as far as Boston, before,” she remarked, “the others won’t believe it.” She then winced, before adding quickly, as if she were afraid of putting pressure upon Ellie when she’d not even decided to make any commitments here whatsoever, just yet: “that’s if you decided to tell them, of course; you don’t have to, nor do you even have to stay here, if you don’t want to.”

Ellie nodded slowly; thoughtfully, but she cursed herself for doing so, after that, reminding herself that she hadn’t exactly been planning on falling into another group, even after everything that had taken place, recently. She sighed heavily, before shrugging, and forcing a smile up at the girl before her as if still trying to hide her pain from her, as well as the others; she’d been doing stuff like that for a little while, now, not sure what else she could do, in a situation such as this one, or what had come before with the whole Wolves situation with Dina, as well as her new nemesis, Abby.

“What exactly do you guys do here? How - How do you even protect yourselves, in a place like this?” She pried, but regretted it almost in an instant, knowing how that sounded as soon as the question had slipped from her lips, like that. “No offence, by the way; I like what you guys have got going, I just-.. it’s not-.. y’know-..” She rolled her eyes, evidently a little frustrated with herself as she averted her gaze awkwardly, but Shalyla thought nothing of it, answering as best she could, especially after Ellie had gone so far as to defend them, earlier; she deserved what they could give them, and explanations were more than included in such a pact as this one was.

“Much?” The girl guessed, and Ellie appeared taken aback again, before reluctantly nodding, and appearing relieved once it appeared that Shalyla understood what was being asked of her, a bit more, now. Perhaps she understood too much, Ellie thought, as the girl grinned to herself, before looking over her shoulder toward the rest of the camp space beyond the tent Ellie had been given space to rest within, for a little while. They could all see that she needed it, and though they were at first hesitant to provide her with such hospitality, you smoothed them right out by commanding them to set up the space for her anyway, seeing as she’d done a lot for yourself as well as the rest of them for no particular reason or prompt to do so, today. “I can see why you’d think that,” she admitted in a little more of a strained manner, but nonetheless as willing as her voice had been, before this point in time, “we don’t have great defences, that’s for sure, but-.. there’s not a lot left to get here, I guess, not with the hunters and all, and the WLFs alongside them. You probably had it better back in Boston, right?”

Ellie couldn’t deny that she’d flinched a little in response to Shalyla’s mention of the Wolves, but she tried to cover it up as best she could, pretending to cough into her right hand, only to almost choke herself in the process with another chunk of bread - it was almost finished, now, and the sight was almost enough to deject her, if it weren’t for Shalyla’s speaking up again, taking her mind back off of it, and focusing her back onto the situation at hand, here - real life, as it was, she guessed, although some parts of it still didn’t feel real enough for her. How she was still alive was one thing that evaded her understanding, at this point.

“Shit, sorry,” Shalyla began timidly again, as if she’d just been pinched for forgetting something imperative, though Ellie herself couldn’t think of anything else she might need, right now, besides a stronger will to live, alongside a drink of water, maybe. “You’re dry, right? I’ll go and get you something to drink; I just got so distracted with introductions, and stuff, I’m really-”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Ellie managed, her voice cracking a little before she began coughing a little again, in the end having to spit out the bread she’d been working on in the meantime just in case she got herself into anymore danger with it, again, like she almost had done so, before, if her awareness hadn’t kicked in the way it did, a brief moment ago, now.

Once Shalyla had gone, you decided to take up the mantle, though she hadn’t seen you leave the tent you’d disappeared into, once, before now. You were out of sight, at first, lingering warily to the right of the tent she was perched beneath, before you drew in a barely audible shaky breath, and decided to reveal yourself to her again.

“Something wrong with the bread we gave you?” You asked, and she appeared a little startled, just briefly, her gaze warily falling upon you, before she tried to find her voice again to answer the question you’d so unexpectedly posed upon her, the way you had, just then, without giving her a moment to recompose herself the way she’d been trying to do, before you’d decided to come out of the shadows again, the way you had, a brief moment ago, now.

“Why? Were you listening to us, or something?” She retorted, but you didn’t bother to answer her question, though you knew you probably should, considering she’d done you yourself alongside the others an honourable service in fighting alongside the group, earlier, even if she weren’t apart of it at all, just yet.

“I asked you a question,” you uttered a little dismally, “we’ve done enough for you already, it’s your turn to start giving explanations, now.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, before averting her gaze again, though she didn’t miss the pang of emptiness she felt as soon as she’d allowed her eyes to leave your’s, the way she did, just then.

“Nothing’s wrong with it, apart from the fact that it’s a little stinky and hard, but-.. yeah; it’s decent for a chunk of bread wrapped up in some dusty tin-foil,” she remarked, and you raised your eyebrows, trying not to smile, though it surprised you in turn that your lips had almost curved upward in response to her comment, like they did, just then. “That a good enough description, for you, or-?” She asked, and you didn’t bother responding, slipping back around the corner the way you had, before, and she appeared a little disappointed in response to your hasty reaction, only to be further puzzled when she noticed Shalyla hurrying back over, making her think maybe you’d decided to slip away when you’d caught sight of her, before Ellie even could.

What she couldn’t understand, was why?

XI

“Don’t mind my sister, by the way,” Shalyla remarked, as she and Ellie walked slowly the perimeter around the campsite, “she’s-.. well-.. she-..”

The girl sighed, finding words failing her as she remembered the way you used to be, compared to how quiet you were, now.

“Could weird be a good word for it? What you’re tryna get at, here?” Ellie offered, and Shalyla winced; she didn’t dare think of you in such a way, not when she knew everything you’d had to endure, anyway, to reach a point such as this one, but she didn’t fault the stranger for it, knowing she had only had a couple of encounters with you, so far, none more revealing than the last had been, anyway.

“I guess - in some ways - you could say that,” she mused, and Ellie raised her eyebrows, evidently a little more skeptical than she had been before, in regard to you.

“Alright, well - how do you see her, then?” She inquired, and Shalyla would think for a brief moment, not sure if it would be fair on you to talk about what had happened to you, after your and her little sister had gone missing, the way that she did. Neither could she imagine the thought process taken place within your head, now that you’d lost Bianca, too, alongside her, and some of your other peers, here.

“I guess-.. a good word for her would be-” she paused again for a brief moment, as Ellie watched her with nothing, but a curious expression upon her face, though she were still quite weary after the fight she’d had to endure alongside you and the others, earlier, “loyal. Mostly in the sense that she’s - well, quite family-orientated, I guess.”

Ellie couldn’t help, but scoff, trying to hide that her action then led to her feeling guilty for doing so, the way that she had, then.

“It seemed like she was more than ready to give herself up, earlier - what would have happened to you guys, if she managed to?” She speculated, and Shalyla smiled sadly over at her new - hopefully - friend, before she again averted her gaze, not sure how to describe what must be plaguing your mental state, at current, as she’d puzzled upon, before, a brief moment ago, to answer Ellie’s previous question in regard to your behaviour earlier with her being nothing more than positively ‘strange’ and unfeeling.

“Even if she did do it,” Shalyla began slowly, ready at your defence in the most friendly and awkward way as she could to avoid any new confrontations within the campsite, “I’m sure she did it, with the eyes of a martyr; she’s never done anything otherwise.” She then stopped, before timidly turning toward Ellie who faltered at the girl’s side, warily looking over at her as if still expecting someone here to turn upon her, and shoot her behind the back, somehow. “Look, I-.. I know things are awkward between the two of you now, but-.. I’m sure, if you decided you actually want to stay with us, she’ll come around to you being here, eventually,” she added gently, and Ellie rolled her eyes; she didn’t like the sound of having to wait for that to happen, as she looked over at Shalyla’s shoulder back toward the tent you had disappeared within again.

“And if I don’t want to stay here?” She inquired, and she didn’t miss how her new companion’s eyes seemed to darken at such a possibility, only making her feel worse for wear, somehow, than she was, before. “What would happen, then?” She pried, and Shalyla tried not to appear anymore dejected, somehow, but her will failed her as she forced a smile back up at the girl before her, before she turned her face awkwardly away from her all over again, like it had been between them before, Ellie beneath the tent they’d cleared out for her, whilst Shalyla had supplied her with a spare chunk of bread, hardly talking to her at first in the process of doing so.

“I guess we’ll just have to see, right?” She added, and Ellie appeared thoughtful - gravely - in turn, before she nodded her head slowly in response to Shalyla’s answer, vague as it was.

That didn’t mean she wasn’t right, however, as Ellie schemed quietly in her head as best as she could, right now. She hadn’t decided yet, whether she wanted to stay here, or venture on further than she had been able to do so, by now, so what would the harm be, if she tried to force your hand a little more than she had done so, already?

XII

She waited until it was quieter than it was, before, pretending to be fast asleep until she was certain that she could get around without a heightened risk of discovery, as well as suspicion surrounding her. She recalled her and Shalyla’s conversation; she needed to make a decision, soon, but not before she’d eased her thoughts concerning you, and why it had been that you’d accepted her here the way you had, earlier, rather than force her out the way she’d believed you would, despite her aiding the group’s attack against the Infected, as well as the hunter that had tried to take over your family’s territory once again, like so many times before. You’d lost count of them all, so far, except from the numbers you’d all managed to kill within the groupings they sent toward you.

Ellie kept low, moving quietly as she warily looked around her, before moving a few paces ahead, only stopping to check herself again whenever she heard voices close by. She moved when they faded away, hearing nothing, but the horses nearby braying, and snorting as she grinned subconsciously, though she couldn’t herself imagine why. She found this moment - although dangerous, as the group didn’t know enough about her to determine that she was truly sound a companion - quite exhilarating, and - plainly stated - therefore quite fun. It wasn’t like that for long, however, as she had to quickly dive out of sight of the two straggling figured passing by your tent, her just lingering on the outside of it, by now, so close, and yet so far. They took a while to move, and she found it painful having to stay where she was as they discussed awfully random topics like their hair, alongside palm trees on tropical islands she’d never herself been to.

It was only when they brought up the hunters again that she grew interested in what they had to say, tilting her head partially as she listened to them in sheer silence, her body tensing up a little as she did to try and focus herself more, somehow, her hands trembling just slightly as she did, trying to make sense of things even more than she had managed to do so, before, though she couldn’t deny it was difficult, at first, until this brief moment in time.

“Do you really think the hunters would take her?” One of the figures asked, another girl who looked something around a similar age to her own, but she didn’t take much notice of either of them, mainly focusing upon the words they were sharing with one another the way that she was, now, gaze averted skeptically toward the ground beneath her, by now.

“Who, Kylie?” The other replied, and the first hummed as if to indicate that the figure aforementioned was the one who she had been referring to, previously. “Why wouldn’t they? C’mon, they would have seen her defenceless out there, and thought nothing of the consequences, right?” They reminded their peer, and the other would frown, before nodding gravely as Ellie awkwardly shuffled in place, feeling a lot more uncomfortable here than she did, before, her body beginning to ache a little again with the weariness still washing over her, from before. She had travelled a long way, after all - of course she still found herself tired, the way she was, now, but she couldn’t let it stop her, as she listened on, whilst - at the same time - she urged for the two to go on walking, so she could slip into your tent, and try to get a better impression of you, somehow.

“Yeah, but-” The girl began again, only to have her speculations shot down faster than any bullet could ever travel, before.

“She was a kid, Dianne,” the other reminded her dismissively, as if he just knew he was right, and that was the end of the argument, prompting Ellie to roll her eyes subconsciously in response to the peer’s arrogant personality.

“I know, I just-.. think of what it’d do to Y/n if she ever found her there, o-or - or had them tell her that they chopped Kylie up like their other unfortunate captives,” Diana continued, this time a little quieter as if she feared you’d hear the two of them. Of course you did; if Ellie could, right outside your tent, who was to stop their words from reaching your ears, too?

She wouldn’t be surprised, if that was why the second of the pairing - Chris, short for Christopher, by what she’d gathered earlier from Shalyla as well as general conversations going on around her since she’d even arrived here - led Diana away, leaving herself alone to her own thoughts again, all of them almost as lost as ever, now that you were linked to some other missing person, now - a kid, no less. She wouldn’t let her intrigue be stalled any longer, as she pressed herself to continue her journey, before she finally reached the front of your tent, and slipped through the part of the cover left undone, as if you couldn’t even be bothered to do up its zipper anymore.

XIII

By the time she’d got there, you were still awake; you’d heard something coming - you weren’t sure what it was. You were half hoping it would just kill you; take all the dark thoughts away, but when Ellie slipped through the bottom half of the tent flaps, you knew nothing would ever change, again. You just - well, knew. You raised your eyebrows, her straightening herself out as she brushed down the dirt upon her jeans, watching you cautiously as you scoffed, before you brought your left hand up to your face to wipe the last of the sleep from the corners of your eyes; it had been building up for a while, that much you could tell, by now. You hadn’t allowed yourself to sleep for a while; the nightmares only came back in more velocity than anything else ever had, before.

Ellie couldn’t help her expression softening, when she noticed how dark and sunken your eyes seemed to be, in the natural light of the moon.

“If you think you’re some sort of Houdini getting in like that, I think you should just leave now,” you remarked, your voice barely audible, and she couldn’t help, but grin in response to your comment, certainly finding it more than amusing, though she couldn’t exactly pinpoint why, at this point.

“You really don’t like me being here, do you?” She guessed, but you didn’t answer, not sure what to say as you slowly rose from your bed, before moving toward the stainless steel bottle you’d perched upon the makeshift cabinet opposite your bedside table, a small vase stood upon it next to a little black box she found much intrigue linked to, though she couldn’t imagine why, a guessing game starting within her mind as she tried to link objects that could fit within a container of such molecular size.

“Coffee?” You offered, and she would appear taken aback, before reluctantly meeting your gaze again as if she’d just reawakened herself to the world around her, wincing as soon as she noticed the expectant look hiding behind the dark orbs of your eyes before her.

“Who drinks coffee at an hour like this?” She questioned, in turn, and it was your turn to fight back a smile, bowing your head again as you poured yourself a cup of it, before setting the bottle back down in its previous place, and awkwardly shuffling as you tried to find another answer for her again.

“People who like to keep their wits about them,” you answered patiently, “even when their at their weakest.” Her eyes tracked you cautiously, as though you were a being unpredictable to her; a silent creature - no, a gracious hunter, tracking its prey, but she didn’t think of you as being one of the bad ones, despite not knowing you as much as she knew your sister, Shalyla, by now. “You ask a lot of questions,” you added a little more exasperatedly, before sitting heavily back down upon your bed, as miserable looking as it was; she could tell you’d hardly used it, and you feared this of her; how she was recognising such things and linking them to you, but you didn’t dare tell her to stop for fear of what it - in turn - would make her think, or expect of you, then.

“Is that a bad thing for you, or-? What’s the big deal, here?” She pried, and you grunted, but she knew through the bemused look upon your face that you were accusing her of doing it again, though it didn’t bother you as much as you seemed to make it out to do so, earlier.

“It’s not a bad thing, it’s just-..” you sighed, having to try and find the right words again to explain your thoughts and feelings on needless topic for her - you didn’t doubt it would soon become a recurrent thing between you both, if she ever decided to stay with you and the others in the near future, somehow, “it’s annoying, okay? That’s all.”

You frowned, recognising the impatient tone that had escaped you, only making you feel worse than you had, before; you didn’t like snapping at people like that, that much was clear, right now.

“Then it seems we both have a problem, right? If I do decide to stay, though I don’t know why I’d even bother to want to, right now - you know I’d still ask questions, don’t you? You’d want me to leave, as fast as I came, wouldn’t you?” She assumed, and you appeared thoughtful for a moment, perhaps considering such a anecdote for a beat too long than you should have, flashes of different possibilities flickering through your mind, but there was only one problem with that; Bianca was gone, and you'd never be able to see her again, now. It made your heart sink, slowly but surely, as your gaze subconsciously fell upon the little black box Ellie had taken much notice of, earlier, before you both had even started talking evenly, like this. Her gaze followed your's, and she grew ever intrigued by the situation at hand, here. "There's a ring in there, isn't there?" She guessed, and infinitely correctly before she even realised it, but you ignored her observation, pressing your lips together grimly, for a moment, before you - more suddenly than any movement you'd ever made, got up to press a small shiv to her bare neck.

She faltered as soon as it happened, unable to react quickly enough as you pressed her with your free left hand roughly against the cabinet behind you both, rattling it a little as you did, but it didn't last for long, you tensing up almost as soon as it stopped, and that was when she noticed the small tears clouding your vision; the pained, but unsuccessfully hidden, look on your face as you tried not to let your façade drop again, though it certainly seemed to have done so already, whether you were aware of it, or not, Ellie couldn't tell, looking back at you defiantly even as the blade lightly pierced her skin - the moment you remembered yourself, scoffed, and allowed the shiv to slip from your fingers before it fell down to the ground beneath the both of you, as you made to turn your back on her vulnerably all over again.

She could have grabbed the fallen blade, dug it into your flesh, and watched you bleed, but she couldn't bring herself to do so, still recovering from the moment, and the unusual spark she'd caught within your eyes.

“You’re right,” you managed a little more hoarsely as you picked up the little box within your hands, the index finger of your right brushing over the inscription upon the surface of the container, still gilded, but fading slowly over time. “Maybe we do have a problem,” you uttered, and she didn’t know what to for a moment as you turned back to her, your gaze briefly meeting her own again, before it flickered back toward the ground as if afraid of being trapped within her own bright, but nonetheless tired orbs - much like your own - somehow. “Maybe we always will,” you added a little quieter, and she narrowed her eyes as you seemed to offer up the box to her for a reason unbeknownst to her, as of this moment in time, “take it.”

“What-?” She continued, and you rolled your eyes in response, before pressing it closer to her, insistent upon the matter though it still hurt you to do so, somehow, as if you were still dreadfully attached to the ring even now that Bianca was gone.

“Take. It,” you repeated a little more firmly, and she couldn’t do it, shaking her head as she even eased the box back into your palms, before closing your fingers delicately over it.

“I’m not here to steal from you,” she stated gently, and you softened again, your heart skipping a beat, taking you aback as you winced, her smiling softly over at you as the moment began to feel unreal, all over again, “look, I-.. I know that things haven’t started out great between us, but I want to show you that you can trust me, okay?”

It was hard to just plainly say ‘no’ in response to her offer, her eyes somehow ensnaring you again as you tilted your head partially, wondering why you felt so lost again, but safe, all at the same time, as long as she were there before you - this-.. this more than confident stranger, who’d saved your life more than once, already. You sighed, before forcing your gaze away from her own no matter how difficult it was for you to do so.

“How am I supposed to do that, then?” You inquired, and - in a dumbfounding moment of peace, yet rippling confusion - Ellie meandered around your still sunken frame, before she sat down upon the edge of your cold bed, and patted for you to sit beside her.

Of course, you hesitated, but she expected that from you, at first, but she didn’t let it deter her, as she smiled kindly up at you again, before offering brightly up the words in a slither of apprehension, alongside some hints of trepidation: “let’s talk, and see how far we get, shall we?”

XIV

You’d never talked that much, before. At least, not in a few years, now. She listened patiently to every word, and you felt like a child again; actually at peace, and contented with yourself, but since the day of the Outbreak had taken place…

You didn’t notice the tears that escaped your eyes again, until one slipped slowly down your cheek, and you stopped talking for a brief moment to clear it away, not starting again until you felt you could, somehow, the feeling of her left hand resting upon your right shoulder encouraging you to continue, or was it just that you’d managed momentarily to fight the lump in your throat back, allowing you to speak all the more without it threatening to break you down again?

“It’s funny,” you mused, and she narrowed her eyes a little over at you, as if trying to comprehend your comment, but she didn’t dare interrupt, instead distracting herself by admiring a little freckle residing just underneath your right ear, “that things can change so quickly, isn’t it? One second, you think everything’ll stay the way it is; you won’t lose what you’ve built, or been gifted, and then - j-just-.. out of nowhere-.. everything seems to just-.. disappear, I guess.” You paused again, unsure of whether you should go on for fear of what she’d think of you, if you did, though you couldn’t imagine why you even cared anymore; things had been hurting non-stop, lately - if she wanted to pick up a gun, or the shiv you’d threatened her with half-heartedly earlier, she could, and you’d gladly allow her to end your miserable existence with either of them, maybe even both, somehow. You sighed, a shaky thing, and still she didn’t say a word, wanting you to be able to vent to her, but she guessed - at the same time - the sound of your voice was calming to her, and she feared that speaking up herself would mean she wouldn’t be able to hear it again like this, tonight, a thought she found disturbing, but nonetheless strangely warming, as she again allowed her gaze to fall upon your side profile, a faint smile playing on her lips as if it comforted her to know you were still there, and not rushing off again, somehow. “I still think it’s my fault,” you admitted a little dejectedly, and her heart sank a little alongside your’s as she shook her head subconsciously, though she didn’t yet know what it was you were attributing such a notion toward, the way that you were, now.

“What do you mean? What’s your fault, exactly? From what I’ve heard, you’ve done nothing wrong; the hunters took Bianca away, and where Kylie is concerned-”

“Don’t,” you interjected, a little panic-stricken, and she faltered, noticing the worried look upon your face; how your eyes widened as another tear managed to fall down from your chin, to your right hand. You winced, feeling it, and she frowned, not sure what else to do, though she wished there was more she could say, somehow, to convince you that none of what had taken place could ever be used to fault you. “You - You don’t understand, okay? Things have been-..” You cursed quietly as you got up off of the bed again, though it pained you to do so.

“I understand you,” she contradicted, after a further brief moment of silence had passed between you, and - though her voice was quiet, it was filled with a bold degree of certainty, “a few years ago, my best friend turned right in front of me; I couldn’t save her - I still think about that day.” You tensed up, reluctantly turning your head a little as you heard the bed creaking again; she had got up a moment after you, and you could almost feel that she stood a few paces away from you. It was unbearable, feeling as if you couldn’t breathe again, the way it had been whenever you and Bianca were together, before. “Do you think that makes it my fault? She saved me; if she didn’t, maybe things would have been-..” Ellie faltered alongside you, before she fought back the doubtful thoughts again; the accusations still residing within her, though she was trying to prove them wrong, for your sake as much as her own. “A little after that, I met this guy named Joel,” she continued, but it was hard to keep herself stable, her voice trembling a little more than it did, before, especially as you half turned to face her, a pained expression on your own face as you wished you could take the pain away from her, somehow, seeing it had impacted upon her a great deal much like your own had been doing even more so, now, “I thought-… I thought I finally had a father, and - and these people, they-.. they came, and they-..” She couldn’t take it anymore; couldn’t fight as hard anymore, as the tears came spilling down her own cheeks, as it seemed to grow ever harder for her to breathe, alongside their steady fall. “They took him from me, okay? They took him, and I tried to stop them, but-.. but they-”

You shook your head slowly, your heart aching fitfully alongside her own as you subconsciously inched closer to her, but you winced upon doing so, not sure what to do; you didn’t know if she’d want you to try and comfort her like that - why would she, if you’d both only just met one another earlier today? Why would you, in turn, even want to, then, not knowing her as long as you’d known the others; your own sister, and mother? You averted your gaze awkwardly, though it pained you again to do so for reasons unbeknownst to you, but soon she found it within herself to continue, no matter how much it continued to pain her to do so, like she did, then.

“The girl I loved back where I stayed with them,” she continued slowly, as though every word came from the suspension of agony, pronounced by the struggled and strained breaths that accompanied them, made everything within that moment in time all the more harder for the both of you to bear, as drew closer to breaking down further with each word, and you tried desperately not to through your arms around her again, “she left me too, and I should have seen what I was doing to her, but I didn’t, because I wanted to avenge him; I wanted to-.. to stop them all; to hurt them like they hurt me, and I tried - I swear I tried, okay? But it wasn’t enough; I didn’t kill all of them-.. Abby-..” She winced, reminding herself of the name she’d been cursing for so long, now. “I let her go,” she murmured a little more dejectedly, and your expression softened further as you glanced back up at her, somehow seeing more to her than you ever had before, the moment she’d first presented herself to you, “so don’t you dare try and say that I don’t understand you, because I do, okay!? You don’t think I go through every day, now, just - just wondering continuously what would have happened, if I did things differently? Huh? You don’t think that I’ve blamed myself before, for stuff like that? Well, you’re wrong, because I have; I’ve blamed myself every. Fucking. Day, for everything that happened, before, so please don’t just think that you’re alone in this, like I did, before, because you’re not alone, okay? Nobody is.” She fell quiet then, after her voice had cracked once more, her chest rising and falling quicker than it ever had, before, since she’d arrived here, as she tried to catch her breath; tried to keep herself together again, somehow. She failed, miserably, at that, but still she tried to keep that from you; safely at bay, just enough for her to muster up a few more words, though her entire body seemed to ache with the reminder of it all, somehow. “You know that, right?” She added, and you didn’t know what to say, for a moment finding yourself fighting back tears alongside her all over again, before you couldn’t fight it back anymore, and had your arms wrapped around her now shaky frame.

The next moment, she didn’t know what happened, but there was one thing she knew: she’d never felt this safe, before.

XV

Since that moment, you’d both been practically inseparable, to the point that the others were starting to talk under their breaths about the two of you. You’d even heard, once, that rumours were going around about you being Ellie’s bodyguard, and-.. well, you didn’t know what to think about that, but the thought of losing her did make you tense up, and have to take a short moment alone to try and recover yourself for her, as well as the others - of course - somehow. Since these rumours had been circling, you’d both been a little more - private, with one another, only going together where you couldn’t be seen, though neither of you could determine exactly why you were doing so.

You determined that there was nothing to it; this whole-.. scenario, you mused, trying to fight back against the guilt that washed over you, whenever you were reminded of Bianca, again. Ellie, too, took on a similar approach, often reminded of Dina, whatever she was doing, now.

On one of the next cold evenings; she couldn’t determine which one, now, considering there has been a few, at this point, she leaned heavily against one of the tall oak trees, wondering subconsciously at the survival of such natural elements such as these, as well as the occasional bushes lining the area. You didn’t reveal yourself to her, at first, warily lingering a few paces away from her, the brambles aforementioned serving as a good hiding place, for you, though you weren’t sure what had even driven you to hiding, the way that you were, now, your hands shaking a little as you tried to think of what you could say, before you shrugged the fear away, and pushed yourself finally to journey toward her, trying to make as little noise as you could, wanting to see how she’d react if you did so, sneaking up on her the way that you were, now.

You wondered if she’d get mad at you - if she’d be pleased with you, but you were too out of focus to think for too long on any of the possibilities lingering before you, right now, getting ever closer to her with every small step you took, to get to this point in time. She couldn’t deny she’d not seen it coming; how you’d suddenly emerged behind her, before making a snarl-like sound to try and scare her, somehow, just a fleeting moment of what you felt comfortable enough to do around her, right now, especially after the moment you’d both shared with each other before in the safe confinements of your previously grim-looking tent, before.

“Shit-!” She whisper-shouted, as she whirled around to catch sight of you behind her, now laughing quite heartily as she rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t help it as a small smile fought to appear, and though she managed to restrain it just enough, the dimples still appeared despite the restraint, and it didn’t hesitate to make your heart stutter in your chest, as you acknowledged that you’d got her to smile, at least a little, as it hadn’t been something she’d done a lot in front of you, since her very arrival here.

You couldn’t help yourself, as you thought silently that you wished she would show it to you more often; the smile she tried to hide away from you, still, even after you’d both revealed so much to each other, before.

“Admit it,” you encouraged teasingly, after you’d managed to recover from the fits of laughter that had rolled over you, the way that they did, a brief moment ago, now, “admit that I managed to actually scare you, this time.”

“Fuck off,” Ellie remarked, after scoffing, but you raised your eyebrows, determined to win against her, somehow, “you did not scare me; I knew it was you before I even turned around.”

You grunted, as if generally frustrated by her stubborn protestations, but you giggled, all the same, still finding it funny, the way she fought for her cause, despite how you’d definitely caught the way she jumped, after you’d performed a make-shift - and hopefully Oscar worthy - snarl behind her, the way that you did.

“Yeah, right,” you commented nonetheless confidently, and the smile only grew upon her lips, though she’d done her best to try and subdue it, again, as if afraid of what you’d think of it, if she gave it away to you, too much, though she couldn’t imagine why the idea terrified her - all she could think of, was how she’d lost those she’d given up so much to, and how she didn’t want to make the same mistakes again, especially not now that she’d found you, and had found at least some form of happiness again, whether it would end up being temporary again, or not so inconsistent, she didn’t know, and - in some grim ways - she was certain she would never want to know, not where the two of you were concerned, the way that you were, now, somehow. “What are you doing alone out here, anyway?” You questioned, and she winced, keeping her gaze stuck to the ground beneath her as she awkwardly hugged herself to free herself of some of the cold around her, whilst also providing some amount of comfort to her nerves in doing so, not that she really needed it, but-.. it was nice to have, anyway - who could question something like that so readily?

No-one, she hoped; you certainly didn’t pull her up on it, and she thanked whatever she could for that aspect of you; your discretion - you didn’t have to question her on things you didn’t suspect her on, and - during times like these - she couldn’t be more grateful for that from you, at least - right now, anyway.

“If you’re really so concerned about my whereabouts enough to even follow me wherever I go,” she began a little more indifferently again, as you almost froze in response to her foundations of the question you could just feel on its way to a sharp arrival, the way that it was, now, she briefly lifted her gaze to look up at you again, and you couldn’t explain how your throat ceased up, feeling her eyes upon you, again. It was enough to make you want to turn, and make a run for it, before she could finish the accusation, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so, even after the question had finally slipped from her lips, only to arrive delayed within your ears, the way you couldn’t deny it did, then. “Then I guess I should ask you, too, what you’re doing out here? I thought you were supposed to be on duty with your sister-”

“She let me stay,” you explained timidly, and Ellie raised her eyebrows in turn, evidently in disbelief of your previous statement, but you guessed you could understand why; you were often quite committed to the perimeter runs you all had to make together eventually, to clear the area of any straggling infected, as well as of any blood thirsty intruders who were blatant in their not meaning well for any of you, here. Thus, you knew she probably deemed this moment to be unusual for you, especially as you’d gone out of your way to stay just so you could be around her, like this. “Albeit reluctantly,” you added, after an exasperated sigh, and that made a bit more sense to her, grinning as she averted her gaze down to the ground again; she imagined it would have been an awkward conversation between the two of you, but she couldn’t imagine why you would have requested this of Shalyla, for her, or just yourself. She winced; the notion had come up so quickly - too quickly, that you would have done this for her, and she knew this could be her treading dangerously, and it didn’t exactly make her feel good about herself, especially after what had happened between her and Dina, before.

“So-..?” She began again awkwardly, but couldn’t bring herself to continue as she awaited a further response from you, hoping you could make the atmosphere clearer for her again, the way you had before, with your arms around her like they had been, at the time.

“So - I’m here, aren’t I? What? Did you want me to go?” You inquired, evidently curious as you narrowed your eyes over at her, as your heart pounded almost too fast against your ribcage to the point that it only left you all the more frustrated again, carrying out the way things were between you both, right now.

“No-!” She answered, as if taken aback by your assumption, and you raised your own eyebrows again, trying to ignore the flutter you felt within your stomach at her interjection - it could be that you’d just eaten something you shouldn’t have eaten, or whatever, anyway; there was no point in worrying about it too much - right? You felt a little more uneasy, then, but tried to hide this from your expression, focusing your gaze intently upon her own as she stammered for a brief moment, as if trying to find the right words to say again. “I - I just meant-.. I meant-..” She groaned, evidently just as frustrated - or more - than you were, even trying to shrug it off as she cleared her throat, and bowed her head back down, again.

“I know what you meant,” you reassured her gently, and she faltered upon feeling your right hand resting upon her left shoulder. For a moment, she found she couldn’t look away from you, her eyes stuck on your’s, and you didn’t know what to do, feeling your face growing warmer than it ever had, before. “Shit, sorry,” you began again a little quieter, before withdrawing your hand from her, though it made you both feel a little emptier as a result of you doing so, the way that you had. “I wanted to ask you something, but-..” You fell quiet again, everything feeling too warm around you as you tried to recompose yourself again, a pained expression on your face as soon as you gave in, not sure what you’d had in mind, anymore, the way you had it, before.

“Allow me to guess, then,” Ellie stated, and you felt a little less hopeless, watching as she pushed hearse off of the tree, a faint smile playing on her lips as she, too, tried to think of a reasonable thing that you may want to ask her for some reason unbeknownst to her; she never expected she’d be on completely the right lines, especially when it came to her first try of the makeshift game you two shared together, “let’s see-.. you - hm. Do you-.. wanna be my bodyguard, or something? I just feel like that’s something you’d wanna do don’t know why, so - y’know, correct me if I’m wrong - if I’m ever wrong, okay?”

“Actually,” you spoke up again, before she could make further guesses, “you’ll never believe this, but you’re right - I - I was thinking, and-”

“Wait, h-hold on,” she managed, and you faltered in place to anxiously look over at her again, “seriously? Of all the things you’d wanna ask me - that’s what you’re going with? Y/n-”

“What? You didn’t think I’d want to protect you, or something? I basically try and protect everyone here-”

“Yeah, but you’re not their bodyguards, are you? They’ve never referred to you like that, and you have never referred to yourself like that, before,” she contradicted, and you rolled your eyes, evidently growing to be frustrated again, especially when all you wanted to do was defend her, like you did the others; it didn’t exactly matter what they called you, you mused, so why start now? “C’mon, there’s got to be something else you wanna ask me - isn’t there?” She pried, and you shrugged, though there were things, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say any of them, to her; why would you, when they didn’t exactly matter, anyway?

“I just-.. thought-.. I don’t know,” you murmured a little awkwardly, “Ellie-”

A familiar snarl sounded out somewhere behind her, and you faltered, your eyes widening as soon as your gaze fell upon the Clicker a few paces away from you both, by now.

“Fuck,” she spat, the situation becoming sharply clear to her, only now, as she looked over her shoulder to see the enemy trying to seek the two of you out, somehow - slowly, but surely, anyway, despite its lack of sight over the years, “it must have heard us talking-”

“I’ve got it, don’t worry,” you reassured, but she took out her shiv anyway, moving cautiously to the left of you just in case she was needed, here, but you managed to take out the unfortunate being clean, except you seemed to forget that there would always be a straggler, wherever another straggler may go.

In this case, it happened to be a Runner who’d followed behind its companion, the way it did, just then, easily catching sight of you as you grinned sheepishly over at her, hoping - for a strange, brief moment - that maybe you’d impressed her, somehow. Maybe that was partly why you didn’t notice the other one, only hearing it when it was too late for you too so much about it, but luckily Ellie was way ahead of you where this one was concerned, throwing herself toward it before it could get to you, before she struggled with it for a little while, you not sure what to do as you helplessly looked on, stricken by a panic you’d never felt before, making it hard even to move, now, somehow, but she knew what she was doing, thrusting the Runner against the tree behind it, before she swiftly embedded the blade of her shiv into its bare neck, it beginning to gurgle as blood ran down from its mouth, and - of course - the wound.

You hoped you wouldn’t be blamed, if you looked away as she dragged the blade across the left and right of where she’d not cut it, yet, only making a slow, but sure death more likely than it had been, before. When she was finally done with it, she allowed the body to drop to the ground after retrieving her weapon, before she warily looked back at you, trying to catch her breath again as she did.

“Some bodyguard, huh?” She remarked, and you winced upon catching onto the sarcastic tone she’d adopted into her voice, as the comment was made.

You flushed a little, bowing your head as you tried to search for an explanation in regard to your previous behaviour. She didn’t need it, but she couldn’t help, but find the way in which you stammered over your words for a brief moment more amusing than the movements of the Infected attackers had been, a brief moment ago, now.

“I - I panicked, I-.. I don’t know what happened, I’m really-” You managed, but she shook her head subconsciously as she crouched before you, her expression softening all the more as her gaze met your own again.

“It’s okay,” she reassured you gently, “we all make mistakes, remember? You more than me, though, clearly.”

“Yeah, yeah, way to rub it in even more,” you murmured a little faintly, evidently embarrassed again, only making her grin even more over at you, to the point she couldn’t bring herself to fight it back much anymore, especially not around you, when things were finally more - at ease - between you both, now. You looked nervous again, even fidgeting with your fingers a little, as she cautiously looked around the two of you to make sure there were no more of the stragglers around, but she couldn’t say she saw any, or heard any, by now, for that matter. She expressed relief, before making to get up off of the ground again, when you continued cautiously, as if you were afraid of what she’d say, next, if whatever you had planned in mind came out wrong, somehow: “Ellie-”

It didn’t come out, at all. She offered you her right hand, and you seemed to tense up a little again, words forgotten as you stared at her offering for a little while, before allowing your gaze to meet her own again, somehow, without any panic befalling you whatsoever. Instead, it was replaced by a feeling of contentment, and the warmth that came with it, filtering in through your chest, back up to your face again; you only hoped she didn’t notice; that maybe the trees were enough to block the sun from making it all the more clearer to her that you had somehow found yourself beginning to blush, somehow, as she encouraged you to get up off of the ground alongside her, knowing the two of you probably shouldn’t stay out here for too long, for fear of discovery by all types of things, but - mostly - she wanted to ensure that you could both just - be, in the confines of a safe place together, where you could hopefully talk without interruption, somehow, and that was why she found herself leading you back toward your tent, all over again.

XVI

Of course, people talked when they saw the two of you, and you rolled your eyes whenever you heard them. Besides, nothing weird was going on, but they always made it seem like there was, somehow. Ellie kept her head low, as you asked those you passed nonchalantly how their days were going, before you both finally got to the flaps of your tent, and you held one of them open to get her inside.

“So - that was-” Ellie began awkwardly, as you said: “I’m really sorry-”

The both of you fell quiet, your cheeks flushing again as she winced, though a soft smile fought to play on her lips again in response to this development.

“You go first,” she offered, albeit timidly, and you raised your eyebrows, before you shook your head timidly, managing a wary smile up at her as you lifted your right hand up as if to offer the gesture back to her; the bandage made it a little difficult to do so, but she knew what you meant, and she hesitated, before deciding to accept your offering, though it made her feel guilty in a way, wondering what would happen if you spoke first, instead of her; where you both would be, now, together, but she tried to push it away, trying to tell herself it was probably just a stupid, small thing like her own remark turned out to be. “I was - er - basically just saying that it was - awkward, out there; tense - all those people - y’know,” she appeared a little embarrassed, and you frowned, before nodding gravely - it certainly had been, though you wished it wouldn’t be like that again; the way it was, when you and Bianca had started seeing one another more often than you ever had, before, in front of the others. It still made your shoulders slump a little, as your heart in turn sank from its original place, to think she was truly just-.. gone, now, no matter what; you never thought you’d lose her, like that, before, and so it just- “what did you want to say?”

You appeared taken aback, wincing as you recovered your train of thought, but it had never happened like that, before.

“E-Er-.. I just - wanted-.. t-to-.. shit,” you uttered, evidently a little panicked, and she couldn’t help, but grin sheepishly over at you, as though she saw past your panic with no trouble at all, her eyes glinting ever so slightly as she did.

Others would probably just tell you to snap out of it; things felt so - strange, today. Although, you couldn’t deny they’d been that way, since Ellie had first arrived here, the way that she did, before.

“Well, you know where the toilet is, right? Don’t do it in front of me - ever, okay?” She commented, and you rolled your eyes, though it was an effort to fight back the giggle that wanted to escape you, the way it did, then.

You sighed, before shaking your head gravely, and she tilted her head partially, her eyes narrowing a little curiously over at you as you tried to find the right words again, wishing the fluttering that began again in your stomach would dissipate as fast as it had come, but - to no avail - it stayed there, all the same, throughout this moment in time, for too many reasons unbeknownst to you, though the feeling was nonetheless familiar to you, at this point in time. Especially after what had taken place between you and Bianca, before.

“You know I didn’t mean that,” you mustered up, eventually, and she raised her eyebrows skeptically again, only making your face burn more as you kept your gaze stuck down at the ground beneath you, wishing you didn’t find it hard to talk to her all the time, whenever you were especially close to her, like you were, now. “I just-.. I wanted to say-..” You grunted, as if frustration was overwhelming you, by now. “Ellie-”

“Take your time,” she cooed gently, and you felt even more numb when you realised she was stood ever closer to you, her right hand resting upon your left shoulder again as her eyes now bore into your own, as if searching for something you yourself didn’t even know you could find there, somehow - it was almost like… she could see - everything, about you, all in the space of a few seconds, and you didn’t realise you’d neglected to talk, until she herself spoke up again, clearing her throat as if trying to regain focus herself, somehow. “Look, maybe-.. maybe you’re over-tired,” she mused, “have a nap?” The idea did sound quite appealing, actually, until you no longer felt her hand delicately squeezing your shoulder the way it did, before. “I can go, if you want me to-? I don’t want to interrupt, or anything, if-”

“No,” you managed weakly, and she faltered, her expression softening as she glanced back at you again, before she could even reach to open the tent flap up again, the way you had, a brief moment ago, now. “I - I just-.. shit, I’m sorry,” you began again, and the soft smile fought with Ellie’s conscience again, “okay, I think I know what I wanted to say before.”

She fully turned toward you again, curious as she awaited for you to continue, before she realised maybe you wanted her to prompt you to continue, first, though she couldn’t imagine why, you looking a little apprehensive as if battling yourself over whether she’d want to hear what you had to say, or not, somehow. Of course she had to appease you, smiling softly in your direction again as she directed you to sit down again beside her upon the edge of your bed, which you did so, with a further great reluctance, this time.

“I’m listening,” she reassured, and you warily smiled back at her, but it didn’t linger long upon your lips, before you’d averted your gaze again, fidgeting with your fingers as she wondered how bad this could possibly be, somehow, compared to what she’d had to say, earlier, in regard to the suspicious gazes of those probably eavesdropping, for all that the both of you knew, right now.

“It’s probably stupid, but-..” You began again nonetheless nervously, her listening patiently to every word again as you pondered, her focus never faltering, even when you found yourself stammering and stumbling over your sentences again, the way that you did earlier around her, as well. “I just-.. I wanted to say - I’m sorry,” you stated, and she looked confused again, but that didn’t prompt her to interrupt, her knowing better than to do so, especially when you made to continue again shortly after that brief moment, your eyes darkening a little as you thought back to Bianca all over again, “the others, if - if they’re making you feel uncomfortable, I can-”

“No,” she interrupted gently, and you appeared taken aback again, your heart skipping a beat as she rested her left hand softly upon your’s, and you couldn’t help it as you allowed your gaze to meet her own again, prompting you to have to fight back a shudder, though you weren’t sure why, a pained expression on your face as you kept your head low, again, knowing you couldn’t lose control of yourself - not now. Although, you did wonder what it would mean, if you just inched a little closer to her than you had, already. “It’s fine; they don’t make me feel anything like that, okay? Don’t worry,” she cooed, and you expressed relief, “to be honest, when I see them looking at us, I find it just-.. well, comical, I guess - it’s like.. they don’t know what to make of us; it’s hard not to laugh, whenever I think of them, and see them like that.”

You smiled softly back at her, evidently relieved as you looked back at her again, your heart pounding too fast the way it had been, before, though you weren’t sure why, and were scared - at the same time - you’d put everything together, soon enough, in regard to your feelings toward her presence around you, the way it was, now.

“Good,” you responded, and it relaxed her to hear how exasperated you sounded, whilst the smile still reflected through your voice, right now, suggesting you were at least more at ease, than you had been, a little earlier, by now, “that - that’s good.”

“It - It is, isn’t it?” She reflected alongside you, as she herself smiled a little more warmly back at you, though her heart stuttered in her chest as she did, somehow. Silence passed between the two of you again, and she felt her face growing too warm alongside your’s the longer her eyes were locked within your own bright orbs. She rubbed the back of her neck, managing a breathy ‘so’ as she tried to bring herself back to the moment in real time again.

You winced, realising you’d got carried away in her eyes again as you rolled your own orbs at yourself, before awkwardly clearing your throat, and bowing your head back down again.

“We should-.. probably-”

“Yeah,” Ellie agreed, reluctantly, as she made to get back up off of the bed again, though it made her feel emptier than before to do so like she did, then, “I’ll, er - I’ll see you tomorrow, again, right?”

“I should think so, considering I am your bodyguard, now, aren’t I?” You reminded her, the smile playing faintly upon your own lips again, alongside her own, now, as soon as she were reminded of your and her previous conversation, together.

“Oh yeah; the inexperienced bodyguard game,” she mused, and you pouted a little up at her, but she maintained her view, until she decided she couldn’t leave such a title in the air, anymore, “I’m just kidding - you know I am; you’ll get there, eventually - I know you will, even if takes you years to do so.”

She stopped before the tent flaps again, her heart jolting a little as soon as she heard you voice her name gently again.

“Tomorrow,” you began timidly, “we’ll be on duty together; Lyla’s okay with it, so-.. I was thinking, could I - show you someplace? I, er-.. I like going there to think, sometimes, and I was hoping maybe you’d like it there, too - it - it’a okay if you don’t want to - of course it is, I just-”

“I’d love to,” she reassured you, and you forgot how to breathe all over again, your eyes hopelessly locking with her own again, “you’d better get some sleep; I expect my bodyguards to be up bright and early for me, no matter how inefficient they may be, sometimes. Tomorrow, yeah?”

You expressed relief again, smiling a little sheepishly up at her, before you nodded, and managed to find your voice again, somehow, though it seemed it easily went away all over again, regardless, whenever you found yourself in the blessing of her presence, again.

“Tomorrow, bright and early,” you confirmed a little breathlessly, as if still trying to recompose yourself, somehow.

She appeared more at ease, again, though she hated the idea of having to leave you, the way that she did.

“Good,” she responded timidly, “I look forward to seeing you there.”

“I’m glad; I look forward to seeing you there, too,” you returned softly, and she lingered for a brief moment, trying to hide the pained expression on her face that came with having to leave you, the way that she knew she should, but she knew she couldn’t stay there all day, as she nodded her head faintly, before managing a quiet ‘night’, and pushing herself to leave, whilst the hurt process - for the both of you, this time - seemed to begin, dreadfully all over again.

XVII

You hardly slept, that night, tormented by old memories you’d made alongside Bianca, whilst your heart pounded too quickly against your ribcage again.

“Oh, c’mon,” you heard her say in your head, whining and appearing a little disappointed as you sat back down upon the edge of your bed again, finding yourself anxious that you’d only make things worse, if you tried to continue dancing with her, the way you had, then.

“I’m sorry,” you responded, the edges of your vision hazy as you imagined one another together, her arms around you as her eyes silently begged you to get up again for her, at least one more time, anyway, before you both had to go back home again to the others, like you had to do so as well - albeit nothing but begrudgingly, every time before, “look, maybe-.. maybe I’m just not graceful enough to learn this; maybe we should just-”

“We’re not going back home; not until I set this right,” she’d responded, that day, making it all the more harder to breathe as you’d glanced back up at her, nothing short of timidly, as if you were afraid of just making things worse, somehow, if you didn’t convince her to give up on you, the way you wished she would, now, before it could grow to be too late for her to do so, already, surely a prospect not too far away, at the time, “look-” You remembered how she’d sighed, sounding exasperated with the moment; how she longed to hold you close again, the way she had before. “Maybe you aren’t graceful, enough, or it’s the fact that maybe you just need to trust me enough to let me lead.”

You remembered how you’d smiled, then, as she’d offered you her right hand to help you back up off of the bed. How you’d then taken it within your left hand, before allowing her to spin you around as you’d advanced up before her. She’d giggled, then, and for a brief moment, you wished you could hear it again, somehow. That was when the angels came.

Your eyelids fluttered open again lazily, and everything was much too bright; the sun glared through the material of your tent, not strong enough to fight it back as you groaned, turning away from it, but it wasn’t enough to make the atmosphere any better, or easier to handle, for you. You grunted, raising your right hand up to your eyes to rub them; you didn’t notice the two of your companions, their shadows blurred beyond recognition, as of this moment, until they finally decided to speak up, and therefore startle you when you least needed them to do so, right now.

“Jeez - it looks like you had another of those rough nights, am I right?” Diana remarked, and you rolled your eyes upon recognition of her voice, a few paces away from you, by now.

“Hi, Diana,” you replied awkwardly, your voice straining a little aa you sat up, groaning as you did as if your back pained you as you stretched your arms upwards, trying to prepare yourself hastily for the day ahead of you, arrived much too soon, “what do you need, now?”

The girl appeared a little dismayed, as well as puzzled, looking toward Shalyla, as if the two had the ability to Shine with one another, somehow.

“You’re meant to be riding out with Ellie, today, remember?” Your sister reminded you gently, and - of course - Diana being Diana, couldn’t resist to tease you as best she could, to keep the dark parts of you away from hurting you again, somehow.

“More like riding on Ellie,” she remarked, and you tensed up, taken aback by her comment as Shalyla winced, trying not to giggle in response to her as you rolled your eyes, trying to hide that what she’d said had most definitely had some effect on you, no matter what it meant to do so; you didn’t dare think too deeply on it, shaking your head gravely, before you began to recall what you’d been planning on doing today; how you’d wanted to show her an old Campground of your fancy; you’d often felt quite safe there, at times, the parties the previous owners held being of a bright time for you and your sister, until - of course - Outbreak Day had come, deeming it no longer usable as long as danger were on the horizon, which it very much still was, now, no matter the talk of some distant cure you’d heard, over the years.

“Shit, okay,” you murmured, quickly getting out of your bed to try and get yourself ready as fast as you possibly could, trying your best to ignore Diana as much as you possibly could, though you couldn’t deny her comment had got to you, more than anything ever had, before, somehow.

“Wow, that was quick - right, Lyla?” She continued, and Shalyla awkwardly nodded, though she knew it would probably be inappropriate for her to begin heightening her own suspicions, as well, given that she could somewhat sense a connection between you and Ellie, especially the day after she’d first arrived, here.

“That it was,” she mused, and you rolled your eyes again, evidently annoyed at the both of them, by now.

“I wonder why-”

“Look, I don’t know what you guys are thinking, but-.. there’s nothing going on, between me and Ellie, okay?” You interjected a little sharply, but Shalyla knew you; she heard the hesitation in your voice; noticed how your expression softened when you spoke her name again before them. You sighed heavily, as the two of them shared a half-hearted look of knowing, though - at the same time - they didn’t exactly know what to think of the notion itself, at play here, between the two of you, now, especially after Bianca hadn’t been gone for long, by now, the way that things were. “I need to go,” you murmured, sounding a little more dejected than before as you meandered around the two of them, more than certainly avoiding their gazes, but you knew you couldn’t hide from them forever; you’d just have to deal with that fact, as you strolled resignedly toward the stable area, having to fight off - as you went, somehow - the painful memories of you and Bianca again.

XVIII

Ellie was already ready, and waiting for you to join her, guiding her mare slowly toward the edge of the clearing as you slowly approached, a pained expression on your face which you tried to hide, until you’d edged closer, and had to finally lift your head up to her again. She smiled softly, before waving over at you, and you timidly waved back at her, before jogging the rest of the way over to your black stallion, Gizmo. Christopher was holding the reins of his bridle, evidently waiting impatiently for you to get to the two, and once he finally saw you approaching, he kept the steed steady as you climbed on, hauling your right leg over and your foot into the stirrup, before you pulled the rest of yourself up, and steadied yourself within the saddle, thanking your assisting companion as he offered the reins to you again.

You could feel her gaze flicker over to you again as you winced, trying not to glance over at her, no matter how much you wished you could do so, right now, your heart skipping too many beats at a time as you kept your head low, and gestured with your right hand for her to begin the journey out, if she wished to do so.

“I thought you were going to be doing the leading, today?” She mused, and you rolled your eyes, forgetting yourself, as she subconsciously grinned in your direction, sensing the frustration rolling off of you, though she wasn’t yet sure what the cause of it seemed to be, during this brief moment in time.

“Sorry, I guess I’m just tired after-..” You sighed, before running your right hand over your eyes again, as if it would wake you up some more, somehow. “Whatever; last night was rough, that’s all,” you added a little more dismissively, and she raised her eyebrows, but didn’t have much time else to react, as you squeezed a little Gizmo’s sides, prompting the stallion to snort, before he began to walk toward the entrance of the forest surrounding the area, where the trails usually began, the way they did, here.

She winced, quickly easing her mare into a trot alongside you as the two of you - at first - briefly travelled in silence together, until she managed to bring herself to speak up again, knowing she should, given that the journey would be awkward, if she didn’t manage to do so, but at the same time, she couldn’t help, but find herself longing to hear your voice again, somehow.

“What’re you thinking about?” She inquired, curious, and you tensed up a little, but tried to ease yourself up again quickly, as to not worry the steed below you.

With great reluctance, you turned your head toward her, and she smiled softly again back at you, though she tried to keep it faint as best she could, not wanting to be too optimistic around you, though it was hard for her not to be, though she still couldn’t imagine why, somehow.

“Why would you want to know?” You questioned, not unkindly, and she fell quiet again for a brief moment, trying to find the right words to say again.

“Look - I can see something’s wrong; if you just talk to me, maybe-”

“There’s nothing wrong,” you interjected a little too sharply, and it even hurt you to hear it, especially when you noticed that she appeared a little dejected, now, alongside you, as if it had pierced her much too deeply for it to be a normal reaction, if you really didn’t mean as much to her as you feared you didn’t right now, still. You sighed heavily, and she warily glanced over at you again, wondering if maybe there was something else she could do for you, but she wasn’t sure; it still grew hard for her to read much of you, though she wished she could do so even more, by now, no matter what the situation at hand, here. “I just-.. it’s like I said earlier; I had a rough night, El - that’s all there is to it, now,” you managed, and she frowned, before nodding gravely in response to your half-hearted claim, the way that it was, then.

“Look, if you wanna go back-?” She suggested, and you winced, subconsciously gritting your teeth as you did; you couldn’t fathom the idea of having to turn back so soon, especially when a part of you was still eager to spend more time with her, somehow, without it appearing suspicious for you to want to do so, though you couldn’t imagine why anyone would view it in such a curious light as the others back at the camp were, now, somehow.

“No,” you managed, and she would appear a little taken aback again, though - in a curious way - it relieved her, however, her heart skipping a beat as she smiled down at the reins again, thinking about how nice it would be, if things weren’t so risky the way that they were, now. If things were right with the world again; or - at least - somewhat more peaceful, anyway. She dreamt of many things, but it always seemed like - especially now - they would never come true, no matter how much she wished they could, sometimes, especially now. “I have to show you this place; it - it always helps me, when I need to think about things; it should do the same, for you, and we’ll probably get the bonus of being able to take out the infected, whilst enjoying the sanctity of the area around us,” you insisted, and she appeared a little more at ease again alongside you, grinning a little back at you again as she wondered how she’d never noticed the way your eyes sparkled in the sunlight, before. “Is - Is that okay?” You asked, your voice suddenly - smaller, than it was before.

“Is what okay?” She inquired, appearing a little puzzled; she’d got too distracted by the glimmer in your colourful orbs, to take any notice of your previous statement, the way she had the ones that you’d voiced to her, before, until this brief moment in time, now.

You appeared skeptical alongside her, wondering what she, too, was thinking, but - nonetheless - you decided to answer her, anyway, knowing you shouldn’t think too deeply about it, the way that you had, then.

“Would you-.. still like to go to that site, with me? Y’know, if you’re up for it, and stuff - I just-”

“I’d love to,” she interjected gently, and you faltered as soon as her gaze met your own again, “you know I would - Y/n-”

“Good, that - that’s good,” you managed a little softer, as if you didn’t want her to hear you, then, as you kept your head low, trying to keep breaths even, and a sense of ease about you, but you found it difficult to maintain around her, though you couldn’t understand why, still, feeling safe around her, and as if you enjoyed her company more than perhaps you thought you should, the two of you only still recently acquainted, after all, at this point in time, “thank you; it - it means a lot to me - it really does, I promise.”

“Then I’m glad for it,” she added, in turn, “but we should probably hurry up; it’s getting a bit colder out here already, and I’m not sure, but I think I can hear some signs of undead life nearby.”

“Undead life?” You mused, and she grinned again, before shrugging a little sheepishly, and allowing a brief second for her gaze to fall upon you once more, the way it did, then, her heart beating much too quickly alongside your’s, but it didn’t stop her from buzzing at the feeling, all the same, especially not when you were with her, the way that you still were, now, and hopefully could for at least a little while longer, anyway.

“You know what I mean,” she answered in a vague manner, and you playfully rolled your eyes, before deciding to play dumb, though - of course - you knew what she meant; of course you did, especially when you heard the faint clicking and groans sounding out amongst the creaking of trees and shaking of brambles, nearby the both of you, the way that it was, now.

“Infected?” You took an uncertain sounding guess, and she raised her eyebrows in your direction again, but she didn’t bother to answer you, instead teasingly claiming you to be an idiot, before you protested playfully alongside her, the smile sounding out beneath your words all the while.

Again, you found yourself distracted in the good things that were still living, whilst she, too, began a replay of the dreams in her head, but it wasn’t until you’d both made it to the alternate campsite that she knew for a fact that maybe - just maybe, things could be okay again - for now, anyway.

XIX

You dropped down from your steeds’ saddle, first, admiring the area; it was standing well, regardless of all that had taken place, recently. You couldn’t deny, though, that you missed the way it was, before the events following Outbreak Day had taken place, the way they had, before.

“Ruby’s Inn Campground-?” Ellie read off one of the rotting signs in the area, before she - too - dismounted her mare, and jogged up to you, as your eyes perused the clearing.

“It’s a resting place,” you mused, and she raised her eyebrows over at you, before looking around her as if to check the two of you weren’t followed her; even if the area were as nice as you’d insisted it would be, that didn’t mean it was safe from any more - aggressive - disturbances. “So - what do you think?” You inquired, sounding a little nervous as she perched her rucksack upon a stump sticking out of the ground, bare and worn, weeds growing around its edges as if the wild were taking it over still, abandoned RVs and all.

“It’s - quiet, for sure,” she answered slowly, as if thinking of everything she could merit it for, though she’d seen many places, by now, and couldn’t bring herself to be much affectionate toward them, especially not after Joel had brought her to the Science and History Museum back in Wyoming, a few years ago, now.

“Makes it easy to think about things,” you added delicately, and she couldn’t help, but smile a little half-heartedly down at the ground again, not sure what it was exactly that brought such a reaction upon her, however. Sometimes she wished it would stop; that she could just run away again - maybe it would be better if she did; she could go back to Jackson, try and sort herself out again, but there were so many things telling her she should stay; that things wouldn’t get any better, even if she decided to return the way she had thought of doing so, a brief moment before, now.

“It’s also-.. certainly - well.. peaceful, I guess, but-”

“You don’t like it?” You guessed, trying to hide that it had dejected you a little, to think in such a manner, the way you had done, then.

“Of course I like it,” she contradicted, but it sounded strained, and you knew you shouldn’t have wasted her time, wincing as you gave the clearing an almost apologetic and forlorn look, as if you intended to move back onto the original trail again sooner, rather than later, but she couldn’t let this moment end so fast, catching your right arm within her hand as you tensed up again, your heart pounding too fast again as soon as you felt her skin against your’s. “Hey, I didn’t mean to say that I wanted to go so fast, did I? Let’s stay and have a little look around for a while, shall we?” She suggested, and you appeared a little more at ease, your eyes glinting back at her as you beamed softly in her direction, somehow making it harder for her to breathe as soon as her eyes locked with your own again, somehow, without her feeling lost within herself, again, as well as guilty over Dina; what had come before, between the two of them, in comparison to where she was now, with you, wondering where everything would start; how it would undoubtedly end all over again, in the near future, most likely.

She sighed a little shakily, before clearing her throat awkwardly, and averting her gaze as fast as she possibly could, though it pained her somehow to do so, by now.

“I - I’d love that,” you managed, trying not to allow your voice to tremble, and she expressed relief, then, the guilt that had flooded over her a brief moment ago soon faltering as she beamed sheepishly over at you, before offering you her right hand to hold, which you accepted from her, without hesitation.

You were certain you would have lost control of yourself; your senses, right then and there, before her, though you weren’t sure what you’d do, startling yourself a little as you thought to glance down at her lips, your heart pounding on much too confidently as her eyes grew a little lighter alongside your own, somehow, before she gave your hand a gentle squeeze, and eased you out of your tight consciousness: “where would you like to start, first?”

XX

“They used to host parties, here,” you recalled slowly, “even before the Outbreak got-.. well-.. really bad. I guess they did it to boost morale, sometimes; things felt so low, so slow; time just seemed-.. redundant - it still does; of course it does, with everything still-.. y’know.” You sighed a little exasperatedly, and Ellie wore a thoughtful expression upon her soft facial features, not daring to look over at you again after it had made her feel too much all at once, again, the way it did, a brief moment ago, now. “Anyway, there were some really fun times here,” you added a little more timidly, as if embarrassed at yourself for not stating that generally, before.

It was then she couldn’t resist a faint glance over at you, noticing the pained expression on your face, as if you were still plagued by such memories playing within your head, at a recollection of such a place as this one.

“Not so fun, anymore?” She guessed, and you tensed up a little, prompting her to wince slightly in response to your reaction, as if you’d been struck by a crowbar all of a sudden, an evident and unseen strength to her words that she now wished she could take back faster than she’d even said them, then.

The silence that befell the both of you didn’t last for long. You managed a weak smile over at her as if to console her, only making the achey feeling worse within her, though she couldn’t imagine why; you being in pain seemed to be enough to pain her, by now, even though it had only been for a few days that you’d both known each other, by now.

“You could say that,” you answered truthfully, returning your gaze to the bare sight that lay before the both of you, the way that it did, now, “things-.. just haven’t been the same, since-..”

You sighed heavily again, and she didn’t dare question what was going through your head, right now, knowing it wouldn’t be appropriate - nor would it even be easy - for her to do so, given the way it made her feel, to see you so dejected as you were, a brief moment ago, now. Instead, she decided to think on what the parties might have been like, having never been able to attend one, herself, before.

“Did you dance?” She asked, her voice a little quieter, but nonetheless sheepish and playful, as the two of you continued to walk slowly side-by-side around the wild RVs left behind, by now.

You appeared puzzled, at first, by the question, side-eyeing her slightly for a brief moment as you tried to figure out what she could mean, until you finally decided to give in, not in the presence of enough awake mental capacity to figure it out for yourself, right now, especially not after the night you’d found yourself having, a few hours ago, now.

“Did I what-?” You replied, none the wiser, and she couldn’t help, but playfully roll her eyes in response to your own question, before she teasingly nudged your right arm with her left elbow just to ensure that you knew she didn’t mind your previous state of sheer dumbness and part ignorance, as presented within you, before.

“At the parties you went to,” she clarified, and you then understood completely, your heart sinking a little again as you tried not to let the pain reach your eyes again, no matter how much it wanted to do so, right then and there, Bianca filling your mind and soul again, the way she had, so many times before, now, “did you dance at them?”

“Not much,” you answered vaguely, and she appeared half-bewildered; half-exhilarated by such a response as that one was.

“‘Not much’? Are you kidding me, right now? Y/n-”

“Okay - not a lot, then,” you corrected yourself half-heartedly, as she raised her eyebrows again, but you continued before she could protect anymore than she already had, a brief moment ago, now, “I guess I just-.. I never really cared for dancing as such, okay? I’m not even that good at it, anyway.” A soft smile seemed to play on your lips, but she didn’t need to ask why, before you continued on a little softer than you did, before. “Bianca-.. she-.. tried to teach me, sometimes,” you added, and Ellie’s expression softened again at the way your voice seemed to tremble a little, sounding a lot more strained in will than it ever had, before, in all the times she’d ever heard you speaking, before now, “that’s how I met her. I-..”

The smile collapsed almost as fast as it had come, and her heart sank alongside your own, a pained expression on your face again as she tried to think of the right words to say that could try and bring you back to her, somehow.

“You haven’t danced, since then?” She guessed gently, and you seemed a little frustrated with yourself, smiling sadly back at her, before shaking your head a little faintly as if it were hurting the very core of you to even move, at this point.

“There’s-.. not been much point in trying, anymore, since we-.. yeah,” you murmured, and Ellie knew the feeling, nodding gravely alongside you, before a perhaps risky idea struck her hard in the face, and she suddenly found herself wielding a lot more energy than she ever had, before.

“Then.. why don’t you try and dance again, now-? Maybe it would be easier - who knows? You might even enjoy it more-”

You scoffed, and she tilted her head partially over at you, standing her ground as you shook your head, wondering why she’d even think something like that, right now.

“You seriously think I’d want to do that, again, after everything I’ve told you, today?” You murmured, and she shrugged, unperturbed, before nodding as if she weren’t afraid of what you might say in response to her doing so, right now, your connection to Bianca, and all that playing quite an overbearing prominence, here.

“Yeah,” she answered simply, “why not?”

“El,” you uttered a little exasperatedly again, and she watched you keenly, though still with an expression of solidarity, alongside sympathy; she understood how you felt, losing Bianca the way you had, as well as your little sister, and she then knew - of course she did - how difficult it was to go on with life after such occurrences, but she didn’t want you to lose sight of the things that made life seem more-.. full, sometimes, regardless of the losses you can have, sometimes.

“Look,” she began slowly, her eyes expressing caution, as well as concern, as she held your hands carefully within her own, blocking your way forward as she tried desperately to restore your faith in what was lost, somehow, all whilst she found herself wishing more than anything that she could do the same for herself, after everything that had come down upon her before this moment in time, by now, “I know it’s hard, but-.. you can’t give up on what makes you whole, okay?”

“Ellie-”

She didn’t heed your interjections, eyes full of a new determination you’d never seen flare up within her, before, the way it did, now, eyes still locked confidently and contently with your’s, to the point it got hard for you to breathe in their wake, all over again.

“I didn’t know Bianca,” she began again sharply, but her voice didn’t grow less soft than it was, now, only making it harder for you to not break yourself down, all over again, especially before her, when her eyes were seeking something deeper than what she could determine on the surface of your gaze; she was trying to breach even your soul, perhaps, and sometimes you feared it was working, and much too quickly, at that - perhaps that was what Shalyla and Diana meant, when they’d made the comments they did, earlier, “but I know enough to determine that you both were close, okay? I’m sorry for what happened; I’m sorry I didn’t come and help you guys fight any earlier than I did-”

“What? Ellie, that’s not-”

“But she wouldn’t want you to give up on the little things you both loved to do, the most,” she concluded even softer, and that was when you gave in, faltering as though you knew she was right; Bianca probably hated you right now, for the way you’d been acting, recently - dejectedly; typically broken apart since you’d realised she was just - gone, the day you’d first met Ellie, the way you did. You cursed a little shakily, and she smiled apologetically over at you, as if still afraid that maybe her approach wasn’t as good as she’d thought it might be, a brief moment ago, now. “So, what do you say? Am I right, or-? Am I right?” She inquired, and you hesitated, surveying her a little skeptically, albeit with a somewhat warm gaze, as your heart beat steadily alongside her own again.

“Jesus, Ellie,” you murmured a little timidly, again, as if frustrated, but she somehow knew you better than that; she knew you didn’t mean it in a bad way, just perhaps in a oh-my-god-why-is-she-so-persuasive-way.

At least, she hoped that that was the case here, anyway, considering the situation at hand, here.

“C’mon,” she complained, almost whining, and certainly pouting over at you as you rolled your eyes again, before shrugging in a dumbfounded manner, and questioning your existence as you took a long time - somewhat purposefully, at least, just to get her to react some more, the way that she was now, practically begging for you to give in to her, at this point, but still you wouldn’t give, only making her all the more impatient, as well as frustrated, alongside you, but you weren’t so quick to give in like that, before you spoke up again, wanting to at least know why she was so eager to see you dance again, all of a sudden, the way that she did, now.

“Why? Ellie-”

“Okay; I guess I get why it would sound weird, or pointless, but-.. I’ll put it this way; I want to dance with you; you - you could maybe teach me some things, if you want?” She suggested, and you groaned, evidently finding the idea nothing short of a hassle, at this point in time.

“I don’t need to dance with you, El,” you reminded her a little more matter-of-factly, but she didn’t stand down, only grinning all the more as she watched you with an all-knowing gaze, as if she could see right through every part of you. It was humbling, nonetheless, the way she could see you, like Bianca could, before. Your heart stuttered again, and it was hard enough to hide it, the way you tried to do so, right then and there again. “I’m your bodyguard now, anyway - remember me?” You asked a little more dismissively, and she rolled her eyes, before uttering ‘boring’ under her breath, but the lift of her lips’ curves told you she didn’t mean it - of course she didn’t; not anymore, anyway.

“Sure, but that doesn’t change a thing,” she stated plainly, as you tried to seek an easy way out of this, but - at the same time - part of you wondered if an escape was what you really wanted, especially when she were here with you, the way she was, now, “yes, you’re my bodyguard now, and guess what that means? I expect you to guard me at all times-”

‘Even on the dance floor,’ you both concluded, and you sighed heavily, wondering how you’d even found yourself here, at this point, with her still beaming expectantly over at you, eyes aglow with things you wished you could decipher as easily she seemed to be able to do so, everything a part of you, despite your only recent acquaintance, here, at this point in time.

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this, but-” you sighed again, as you awkwardly rubbed the back of your neck using your right hand, what looked like a faint blush invading your cheeks and earlobes as you tried to avoid her gaze again, only to fail miserably as you did, somehow drawn in by every glimmering part of her being, effectively ever since you’d both first met one another, only to gather you enough to give into her completely with a lot more ease, as you grinned stupidly back at her, and couldn’t help the words as they steadily escaped your lips, and much too brightly - “where should we start?”

XXI

You weren’t expecting it to go the way it did; weren’t expecting how she learned as fast as she had to do what you could remember, your heart pounding too fast the whole of the way.

“You’re a natural at this,” you remarked, and she appeared a little embarrassed, as if she were still trying to hide something from you, but you could tell it wasn’t something fatally serious, as her lips curled up at the edges a little into a soft and sweet smile.

You couldn’t think much during that moment; you just noticed the way your heart slipped a beat, especially when your gaze tried hard not to fall upon the smile the way it wished to do so, a brief moment ago, now.

“Yeah, well, you’re clearly an excellent teacher,” she claimed, as the two of you warily kept hold of one another, feeling much too close together, without being able to part any further than you wondered if you should, right now.

You narrowed your eyes a little, even raising your eyebrows in her direction as you tried not to give into her too quickly, all over again, the way you had before.

“Possibly,” you agreed half-heartedly, though you knew you weren’t as good as she was making you out to be; Bianca had often tried to flatter you, as well, even when you accidentally stood upon her toes, at times, “or-” Her easy demeanour seemed to falter again. “You already know how to dance, and this is just an excuse to dance with me - what do you think, El?” You inquired, and she looked speechless for a moment, as if trying to find a way to escape this situation, somehow. “Don’t worry about it; I appreciate it, anyway,” you soothed, and she expressed relief, though she wished it didn’t flatter her as much as you had managed to, like you did, then, a roll of goosebumps prickling along her arms as you twirled her a little, and she warily followed your lead.

“Where did you learn how to do this, anyway?” She pried, and you winced, as if it were your turn to be embarrassed, now, somehow.

“You really like asking questions, don’t you?” You returned, and she appeared taken aback, remembering how Joel had once commented upon her inquisitive nature, a few years ago, now, before he’d taken her away from the fireflies the way he did, then. She still felt guilty for that, sometimes; the way she’d reacted to it, but she still found it difficult to think about how he’d lied to her like that, the first time she’d questioned such a rescue. “El-?” You continued gently, and she winced, realising she’d faltered in her step, before she managed to recompose herself again, and managed a faint apologetic smile over at you somehow.

“Sorry, I just-.. I don’t know what happened, I’m sorry - am I doing it right, now?” She inquired, and you tried not to ponder too much upon what might had crossed her mind the way it did, a brief moment ago, now.

“You’re doing it perfectly,” you reassured her gently, and she expressed relief, evidently glad, though she wished she could try and hold back the vulnerability you managed to pry out of her, “and it’s probably not that interesting, but - to answer your question - I learnt this in a violent assassin cult out in the Alps; it was part of our control regiment.”

Ellie raised her eyebrows, evidently surprised as she tilted her head partially, the glint in your eyes somehow appealing to her as being not entirely a truthful one, right now.

“Seriously?” She replied, and you - in turn - grinned sheepishly over at her, before shrugging your shoulders vaguely, prompting her to roll her eyes playfully, before she gently punched your shoulder, prompting you to giggle barely audible as she shook her head, tilting her head partially over at you as she awaited your true knowledge, genuinely curious to hear more about your own experiences, especially seeing as you seemed to understand her a lot more than some other people she’d met here ever had, before.

“It’s true,” you insisted, not very convincingly, as she snorted, before uttering ‘you dick’ as she had to try and stifle her own rising giggles, in response to your own, alongside her.

“C’mon,” she whined, evidently eager to know, no matter how boring the truth might be, in this case.

“Fine - you caught me,” you gave in as you timidly smiled over at her again, before warily averting your gaze as if you were afraid of allowing a wrong look to show; to grow too obvious, though you feared - at the same time - it wouldn’t make a difference, at this point. Not when you’d both caught one another looking at each other like that, before. “That wasn’t true-.. well, no - it feels like it was close to the truth, anyway, but admitting that my mother forced me into dancing lessons is so dull, isn’t it?” You guessed, and she raised her eyebrows, grinning over at you, in turn, as she hesitantly made to wrap her arms around you, again.

“It’s good enough,” she reassured you, before silence befell the both of you, as your eyes locked with one another, hearts pounding too quickly again.

“El,” you managed slowly, and she appeared nervous again, even as you allowed yourself to return her embrace, the way you did, then.

“You know anymore moves, at all? You are the teacher, remember?” She reminded you, but the smile never left her face all the while, though it seemed a little more weak, this time.

You couldn’t help it, as you giggled softly again; you couldn’t deny that it felt good, being here with someone again, like this, but it didn’t stop the faint ache that eroded you down gradually slowly, over and over again.

“Look, if this - if this is just an excuse to get close to me, I quit,” you remarked, and she raised her eyebrows again, though it amused her to see you a little more flustered than you were, before; the blush that invaded your cheeks again, somehow, after she’d raised her right hand timidly up to your left cheek, now warm with the blood that pulsed just beneath her palm.

“No excuse, don’t worry - besides,” she continued a little more brightly, as if anticipating what it could mean for you both, being able to be this close to one another, by now, “if I want to get close to you-” She inched even closer, and you tensed up even more within her arms. “I could just go somewhere people will shoot at me, and then wait for you to shout at me for doing so,” she speculated, and you winced - in turn - knowing she was right.

“Fair enough - so, what do you want to-?” You both faltered, hearing the click of a gun a few paces away from you, but it was too late to react to it, the bang sounding out before either of you could even open your mouths to speak, or shout, and she didn’t know what to do for a brief moment, time seeming to slow down and blur around her, as soon as she noticed the blood beginning to pour down from your right side.

XXII

Once the gun-shot had rung out, you didn’t know much of anything anymore. You’d felt the bullet; you didn’t need to look down and see the blood slowly beginning to pour out from where it had sharply penetrated you. You remembered Ellie holding you; saying your name, then shouting. But after that everything got-.. hazy.

You imagined you were back in Bianca’s old apartment, warily watching her as she poured you a generous glass of white wine.

“That much?” You remembered saying, and she grinned sheepishly over at you, a mischievous glint forming within her eyes as she offered you the glass, and you keenly accepted it from her, no matter how nervous you truly were, knowing that if you got drunk now, what might you end up doing before her, and how would it impact your relationship with her, as close as it was, now, after everything that had taken place recently, especially with your little sister going missing not too long ago, now, and all.

“What? You scared of having a little fun, now?” She teased, and you winced, before awkwardly shaking your head, as she smiled sweetly over at you, your heart skipping a beat at a time again. “Drink up; you need it - no, you deserve it, especially after-.. y’know,” she cooed gently, before she winced a little herself, and cleared her throat a little regretfully, busying herself with her own portion, now.

You sighed heavily; you didn’t want people to think they should pity you, or Lyla, for what had happened; you knew it was your fault, and being given sympathetic glances as opposed to spiteful ones didn’t exactly make life any better than the way it was, before this moment in time.

“Why did you bring me here?” You asked a little blankly, avoiding her gaze as she dejectedly, as well as warily, glanced back at you, a pained expression residing upon her face again.

“Your mom, she - she asked me if I could-”

“Great - no, fuck this,” you uttered, but she blocked the door a little exasperatedly before you could get up and flee from her again, and you faltered as you lingered timidly before her, your eyes darkening a little as she tried to catch her breath, as if your closeness to one another had knocked the life source out of her chest, somehow, the way it did, then. “B-”

“She wants the best for you; you know that,” Bianca explained gently, “Y/n, look at me-”

“Can you please just-”

“No - look at me, and then maybe I’ll consider letting you leave, okay?” She bargained, and you groaned, before begrudgingly allowing your eyes to lock with her’s, all over again.

You’d never felt so small before; her eyes were whirlpools of green, flecks of brown, and sometimes you wished you could live within them forever, if only she’d let you, and you had the courage to ask her if it wound be possible for you to do so, somehow. She warily lifted her right hand up to your left cheek, and you tried not to shudder, goosebumps swarming your arms; you were glad you’d decided to wear a shirt, that day, rather than one of your old vests that always seemed dirty, no matter how much you tried to clean them, after a few more further scuffles as you seemed to encounter now, almost every day, here.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she insisted, and you almost yelped at the way the words rolled over you, but you managed to swallow it back, your face feeling numb, and tongue feeling heavy as tears began to invade your own whirlpools again, somehow.

“Don’t,” you warned softly, your voice briefly trembling, and her heart sank at how strained your voice sounded, as if you were in danger of breaking down again, if she pushed any further than she had, already, but she couldn’t let you go on like this; she hated it, seeing the way it seemed to burden you, every day, since the moment the accident had taken place, or kidnapping - whatever it was that had happened to her, the way it did, before.

“Please,” she begged, and you fell quiet, your eyes warily searching her own as she winced again, and tried to swallow the lump that was beginning to form within her own throat, the way that it was, now. “Nobody could have known what was going to happen that day - you know that, right? Y/n-”

“What did my mom ask you to do?” You asked weakly, though you cursed yourself for it, as she frowned again, before bowing her head a little, and releasing her hands from you again.

“She just-.. asked if I could try and distract you for a little while - that’s all,” she reassured you gently, and you nodded gravely - of course you believed her; you’d believed everything she’d ever told you, before this moment in time.

“Well, I think you’ve done a good enough job of that already, so-”

“No, I haven’t,” she contradicted confidently, and you grunted as she held you back from the door leading back out into the too-long and eternally dark hallway, “look, I said I’d be happy to let you go earlier easily, but I’m not - not until you crack a smile for me, at least. Can you do that, for me?”

You couldn’t deny you tried, but it didn’t exactly do much to fight your corner. Begrudgingly, at least.

“Not like that,” she remarked, evidently frustrated, but it didn’t stop her from smiling timidly over at you, again, though it pained her to do so, whenever it resulted in a pained expression flooding over you, on your part of the warm exchange, “I want a genuine smile, okay? And neither of us are leaving here today, until I get one - understood?”

You sighed, and she grinned from ear to ear again, her eyes glinting as you shuffled awkwardly upon the spot, wishing you could just disappear already, if it meant you could curl up and die somewhere much further away from here.

“B - this isn’t-”

“Am I understood, or not, Y/n?” She pried, and you rolled your eyes again, before begrudgingly deciding to give in again, knowing that maybe you should do so, just to make her happy, if it did end up making her happy, anyway, by the end of the day, long as it felt, right now.

“Yes, boss,” you murmured a little exasperatedly again, “so - what do you wanna do, exactly? Or what did my mom suggest we do here, today?”

“She wants me to teach you some things,” she answered vaguely, her eyes glinting even more as she did, your heart skipping a beat painfully as you couldn’t help, but scoff, as a smile fought to show as she took a sip from her own glass of wine, before she leaned a little apprehensively against the bar behind her, again.

“So, let me get this straight,” you began again slowly, as if trying to keep your demeanour precise, no cracks left on show, anymore, the way they had been, before, in response to her attempted consolidation of your self-determined well-deserved demons, “my mom wants you - my personal bodyguard, and kinda best friend - to teach me some things, that aren’t - I’m assuming - anything to do with killing Infected, or those hunters?”

“That’s right,” she answered a bit too brightly, and you raised your eyebrows even further, somehow.

“So we’re not going to be doing what we’re supposed to be doing, basically? We’re just going to be-.. procrastinating, or-?” You guessed, and she scoffed, before rolling her eyes playfully in your direction, only flustering you even more as you winced, and timidly hid your face from her again, but that didn’t mean she missed how embarrassed and slightly red you had found yourself appearing, in response to her previous reaction, the way you did, then.

“I wouldn’t call it procrastinating,” she mused, as she swirled her wine a little, before gesticulating her head toward your own as if to remind you of its existence, given that it was still standing quite alone on the bedside table, the way it was, now. You grunted again, this time more frustrated at yourself for being so negligent again, as you lifted the glass off of the surface within your left hand, and hesitantly raised it up to your lips. The liquid wasn’t quite sparkly - perhaps it had been sitting for a while, the last time it had been here. You couldn’t help, but appreciate it anyway, the sharpness taking you aback as you even spluttered a little at the taste, but once it had settled, you couldn’t help, but drink more, your eyes brightening a little as soon as it had started to get the better of you, the way it seemed to be doing so, by now. It pleased Bianca, to see you enjoying such pleasantries again; you’d been a lot more - subdued, since what had happened, before; it had hurt her to see it, more than anything ever had, since that moment in time. It was nice - being like this with you again. It had been, since she’d first met you. She smiled to herself a little as she thought about that fateful day; how your eyes glinted as soon as she had spoken to you, once her sister had introduced the two of you, a few years ago, now, after Outbreak day had officially been announced, before. “It’s not procrastinating to keep yourself healthy and happy, especially when it comes down to things like - well, drinking and dancing, I guess,” she hinted, and you faltered, feeling cold all over at that; you wondered if you should just get up and run now, before you embarrassed yourself in front of her even more, somehow.

“Wait-”

Bianca pouted, noticing the worried look currently residing upon your face again, the way it had, earlier, after she’d brought up your mom’s intentions again, the way she had, before.

“C’mon - it’s not like I’m gonna shoot you; it’s just a bit of fun, okay? Don’t get so panicked over it-”

“How am I supposed to do that, when I don’t know how to dance? Like - at all?” You questioned, sounding a lot more breathless than you did before. You also looked like you wanted to be sick, as if you wished to force the words back down where they came from, but it was far too late for that, now - even you knew that, no matter how much such a fact harrowed you down to the bone, especially when presented in front of her, the way that it was, then.

“Wait, what? You don’t know how to dance?” She mused, looking like it was hard to not burst out laughing right now, no matter how much she wished to do so, right then and there, at such a revelation.

You sighed heavily, before bowing your head again, wondering how much mercy she would have on you, right now, if she could have any, at all, knowing that about you, the way that she did, now.

“Don’t look at me like that, okay? I sign your pay check, remember?” You reminded her timidly, avoiding her gaze like the plague, though you could still feel her eyes boring into you, the way that they were, now.

“And you won’t stop, no matter what, will you? I’m the one keeping you safe right now, aren’t I? Anyway, the one thing I can promise you right now, is that I won’t laugh, okay? Just - explain. You’ve been going to those campsite parties with me for years, now, and you’ve never learned how to dance?” She questioned, and you rolled your eyes again, wishing she’d just drop it; you didn’t like to be reminded of things like that, especially when they could hopefully be easily rectified, anyway.

“You’ve never noticed?” You pried, and she winced, before shrugging truthfully, because she genuinely hadn’t, at all; she’d often found herself more immersed within the experience - or, failing that, in you, but that didn’t mean she’d noticed your lack of a dancing spirit. “I guess that’s understandable,” you mused a little worriedly, before trying to inject a little more brightness into your voice again, “we both know that I’m excellent at coming up with excuses for things, anyway - right?”

She appeared a little skeptical, but you didn’t have time to react to her doubtful look, as she sighed exasperatedly, before pushing herself off of the bar, and offering you her now free and softly enticing hands.

“On your feet, then - it’s time for you to learn, if anything,” she decided, as you warily glanced up at her offerings, prompting your heart to pound much too fast against your ribcage again. “C’mon,” she encouraged a little impatiently, but nonetheless amusedly, as you brushed off the fear that tried to shake you, picked up your drink again, and allowed her to help you up off of the edge of her bed once more. She giggled, noticing the way you almost fell forward, as if you were tipsy already, despite still having a relatively half-full glass left. She didn’t know how she’d done it, but she’d almost finished her own glass, already, but she knew she should try and drink it slowly, wanting to keep herself responsibly mindful for her sake, as much as your own.

“So, how - how do we-?” You began, as you tried to recover from a burst of giggles that had awkwardly escaped, as if trying to relieve you of the embarrassment you’d faced, falling upon her like you had, a brief moment ago, now.

“First of all - stop stepping on my feet,” she advised, and you winced, shifting your ground again as you apologetically smiled up at her again, but of course she’d already forgiven you - how couldn’t she, when you’d been the centre of her world for so long, now?

“Yeah, well - you put your feet under mine, B - what did you expect to happen?” You teased her gently, your eyes locking helplessly with her own again, to the point that you couldn’t quite get yourself to look away, anymore, especially when you both were this close, your bodies almost brushing together as one, the way that they were, now.

“I only did that because I had to; you were gonna fall on your face if I didn’t - you realise that, right?” She reminded you, and you appeared a little flustered again, but not just because of her statement; it was the feeling - her hands running up your back a little. It was so hard not to shudder again, you having to try and think of other things just to stay calm, and not break down that easily in front of her, no matter how much you wanted to, during moments like these that you both found yourself sharing, the way that you were, now.

“Yeah, but-”

“No buts,” she interjected gently, “d’you know what? I’m gonna tell your mom to let me give you dancing lessons; you need them, that much is already clear, right now.”

You rolled your eyes, evidently frustrated by such an observation, but it didn’t stop the smile invading your lips as you held onto her shoulders, your heart beating steadily alongside her’s as long as you were gazing into her eyes, the way that you were, now.

“I believe you,” you admitted whole-heartedly, and she didn’t know what it was about the way you said it that made her eyes want to drop down to your lips again. She could only just hold herself back, focusing her eyes upon your own as she smiled sheepishly over at you again, wondering what she’d done to deserve a warmth like this, especially during times like these.

“You’re so stupid,” she remarked, and you giggled, subconsciously connecting your forehead to her own as you both couldn’t help, but laugh together, chests heaving and falling as you tried to recover again, reminding yourself of the situation; how you needed to keep a clear head, if you wanted to learn how to dance for her, somehow.

“You’re stupider,” you returned, and she scoffed, and you didn’t know how your faces had got any closer than they did, then.

“Oh, really? Well, I think you’re stupidest,” she stated, and suddenly it got hard to breathe, the two of you holding one another even closer, somehow, your clothes brushing against each other a little as you admired one another, the air growing somehow even hotter than it ever had before around the two of you, the way it was, now, “what do you have to say about that?”

You didn’t know what to do; didn’t know how to even think anymore. You tried to catch your breath again, but it had never been so hard to do so, the way it was, then. There were so many things you wished you could tell her, but - all the same - you were terrified. Why would she ever want to try and start something of a new life with you, anyway? Your heart dropped at the thought, and your eyes darkened. Bianca appeared dejected, as soon as you pulled out of your embrace, the way you did then.

“Y/n-?” She began, but you shook your head, slinging your rucksack over your shoulder as her heart began to pound again; head began to spin, at the possibility of her losing you again, somehow. She couldn’t let it happen again, as she caught your arm within her right hand, and you reluctantly stopped in place, forgetting how to breathe all over again.

“B, we can’t-”

“Why? We’re not even doing anything wrong - Y/n, please-”

“I love you, B,” you admitted weakly, and she faltered, her heart skipping a beat again as her grip loosened upon your arm, but you couldn’t bring yourself to rush off again, keeping your head low as she tried to process your words, only to fail several times over; she didn’t think you’d ever feel the same way for her - not in a million years, even, and now that you’d said the words, she didn’t know how to react to them, at first, staring after you tearfully as she tried to catch her breath after you, but it was as if her heart was stopping her from doing so, pounding as fast as it was, right now. “I’ve always-.. but we can’t be like this, because if we do, it’ll just make things worse, okay? And it’s nothing like what it was, before, from what I’ve heard anyway - I just - I want-” You faltered, your voice cracking more regularly, now.

Bianca slowly turned you to face her again, her heart slowing just enough for her to begin to concentrate somehow, as you kept your gaze low, and had never felt so vulnerable, before.

“Then let’s go - away from here - can we?” She asked, and you appeared taken aback again, evidently not expecting such a request from her, after you’d confessed to your feelings for her, assuming she’d hate you if you did, somehow, not that you wanted her to, anyway - of course you didn’t; you just couldn’t hide it anymore, especially after you’d spent so long just - wondering, what it would be like, to be with her, the way you were, now. You could still feel the faint pulse of what felt like electricity running beneath your skin, at her looser grip on your arm. It made everything-.. so much brighter, than it had ever been before, now.

“You’d-.. want to - after-?” You inquired slowly, appearing puzzled as she beamed over at you, before slowly easing your face back up to her’s again, the fingers of her left hand resting delicately beneath your chin, now, only making it all the more harder to think clearly, somehow.

“Of course I would,” she answered truthfully, and you couldn’t help, but grin up at her again, your eyes a lot lighter than they ever had been, before now, “Y/n - I - I’ve been in love with you since-.. since fucking Palmdale - I loved you, even then, I was just too-..” She sighed heavily, and you didn’t know how to explain the relief that flooded over you; how it started with a warmth flooding the depths of your stomach, before it began to swarm your upper body, a small tear leaking down your right cheek as you giggled softly, before leaning forward to delicately press your lips to her own, no matter how much it scared you to do so, before she’d smiled at you like you were her world, as much as she was, and had always been your’s, too.

“Fuck, that - that was-..” You managed, after breathlessly pulling away, though it had been a delicate thing to start with. “B, I-”

You both faltered, hearing something crashing in the hallway outside; it sounded like it was something tinny, like one of the trash cans you’d both passed by, and that’s when you heard the notorious clicking of an invading Clicker staggering by. Bianca rolled her eyes, evidently annoyed that your and her time was being interrupted by the stupidest of things, such as the infected could be, sometimes.

“Assholes,” she remarked, and you sighed heavily, before making to remove your own shiv from its sheath, but she caught your arm before you could do so, prompting you to appear taken aback again as you glanced back at her, so many questions pouring off of you, despite their silent conveyor. “They aren’t coming in here - leave them,” she stated boldly, and you raised your eyebrows again, but you didn’t dare protest against her, knowing that when she was confident, there was no way that that confidence could be knocked down, not even by a herd of incoming clickers flooding the establishment, even if there were that many out there - it didn’t sound like there were more than a couple - not yet, anyway. “Besides, I’ve worked on that door for ages, now; it’s stronger than you think it is - trust me, I’ve tried to break through it myself; it’s not happening,” she boasted, grinning a little again as her chest puffed out a little, as if she were proud of her remodel of a simple defence system.

“I fucking love you,” you stated, before throwing the shiv away, and kissing her just a little more passionately. It would be a lie, if you said you’d both slept at all, that night, but you knew the Resistance wouldn’t be particularly happy with either of you, the bastards its leaders were. You couldn’t deny it was nice, though, as well as quite flustering to think about, again and again, to have a moment with her like that, as Clickers screeched their frustrations outside the room, as if trying to find you both still, but Bianca had been right; you didn’t know what she’d done with that door, but boy did she strengthen it just enough to hold them all out, no matter how hard they bashed and clambered against it, the way they did, then. You loved that girl, and now that you knew she loved you, too, you didn’t think anything could ever take you away from one another, but you guessed you thought wrong, before you found yourself crying and bleeding out within Ellie’s now shaky arms, all over again, the way you had, before.

You guessed you’d just have to live with it; time doesn’t stop for the good moments in life, no matter how hard you fought for it to.

~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed it! Thankfully, it doesn’t seem as if it is breaching the text-block limit this time, so I managed therefore to fit the whole instalment into this post! I look forward to further exploring this idea, and certainly hope that you’re looking forward to the next one, with me! Have a lovely rest of the day, everyone!

As always,

Your ever faithful, H.H. ❤️

[eldritch-spouse]

The thought of the Siadar erasing species not of their designs, fills me with comfort because I know that if they ever suffer the same fate, my ass would NOT feel any pity.

You tell me they deserve empathy even tho they'd genocide the silly skrunkly critters of the past like the Trilobites, sacabambaspis, and fucking dinosaurs?

Nuh uh, let that eldritch horror dissect them, I'll cheer it on

Actually moving on from that, a real question I have is, are there any other species that have formed some sort of, idk, alliance against the Siadar society? If there are any advanced enough to be even aware of them. We know of those two watcher entities you've mentioned before but those seem mostly passive.

Like the Siadar having to face the consequences of their actions, sins coming back to haunt them. They're already a failing society at this point, so enemies of the gods would probably exploit that, maybe reclaiming some stolen planets, taking artifacts of them, creating weapons effective against the Siadar. All that.

One thought that keeps coming back is how some of those beings would view the Siadar creations. Anger and spite for getting their planets stolen and people murderd just for them to inhabit their defiled World. Immense pity because of how they're made so weak and forced to endlessly worship their self proclaimed gods, ignorant of their true nature and sins. Gods facing the folly of their ego is actually something that happens quite a lot in mythos now that I think about it

Idk, something I just have been thinking about.

There's a lot to explore on that side of things.

I particularly like the idea of a human crew stumbling, somehow, someway into one of the most powerful and influential siadars there exist. A being who holds the fate of Highers almost entirely in their hands alone.

And like, five dumbasses in a rusty tincan of a spaceship just bonk into this entity's territory. This siadar who seems to be bigger than life itself, in a pure and unfiltered form that frays the edges of the human brain.

And this entity, realizing what has come to them, what has returned, breaks the fuck down.

Because they remember humanity. They remember the choice they all made. They will never forget the species that drove them to an age of mindless indulgence.

And they know they might throw it all away again if just to have that ecstasy again.

For a second, for a blink.

You and your crew will be traumatized for life, most likely.

[sienne-k]

i just spent the whole three days of the easter hols devouring akai x furuya fanfiction in a fugue state and i am not in an emotionally stable mood to go to work tomorrow

like no regrets 10/10 would do it again, i'm just saying reading fanfic should occur in a separate time dimension so that i could have read all the fic i did and still have three days off work to recuperate and nurse my bleeding heart and pick up my damaged brain so that i can actually function tomorrow and not accidentally start sobbing and freak out my boss

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

[thepandalion]

so Im currently obsessing over these 3 pieces of media, right?

two of them have a guy named dylan. one dylan is a cute little guy who gets tormented by literal monsters. the other is just some guy at the office who thinks the fact he's good at his job is bragworthy (it is not)

Im now experiencing whiplash from the range that a dylan can go through

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Dolly IV

~ part 4 of the Dolly series

pairing: lee know x afab!reader

genre: smut, fluff, horror/sci-fi

synopsis: the human body is the most fascinating thing and you know all about the intricate anatomy of it. ever so curious you purchase a human-looking doll and your life changes forever.

wc: 7.9k

warnings: death & dead bodies, reader is a mortician, mentions of needles and scalpels, sorry if there are any mistakes

nsfw warnings: multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, blood play, knife play, creampies, spanking, oral (m)

~ divider by @bunnysrph

It's eerily quiet around you but that doesn't bother you. Not tonight, not ever. Sometimes the silence is comforting and helps you concentrate on the intricate work you do.

You've always been fascinated with death, ever since you were a child. You weren't scared of it, you welcomed it with your arms wide open and it was your father who exposed you to it since you were young.

It wasn't really on purpose, but having a funeral home inside your house and a curious child was not a good combination.

Your father was a good and warm man, offering a friendly tap on the shoulder and a few consoling words to grieving family members, the ones who sat in his office discussing details about funerals, their noses runny and eyes red from crying.

Not all of them were like that; some just sat there with a numb look on their face, a kind of silent sorrow etched inside their features while there were those that seemed completely emotionless.

You'd always lean behind the wall and listen to them discuss until your father would notice you and send you back to your room. The only room in the house that looked somewhat... alive.

Your father was pretty fascinated with death and any art that surrounded it, prints of Francisco Goya's black paintings adorned the walls in your house; Saturn Devouring his Son, Witches' Sabbath, Two Old Men, Judith and Holofernes, Two Old Ones Eating Soup, Atropos...

They captivated you in a way you couldn't put into words and sometimes they gave you torturous nightmares, but you weren't scared.

You welcomed the darkness into your heart completely; in fact you thrived off of it.

It was one quiet and calm evening when you tiptoed down to your basement. The moonlight cast a glow through the windows as your shadow passed by the paintings staring at you with their freakish eyes.

The door was ajar and you pushed it, the creaking sound cutting the silence of the dark night as your heart started beating in your ears.

There they were on the table. A person who had succumbed to Death itself.

Silently, you treaded towards the sheet-covered body but before your little hand could reach it, your father grabbed your wrist gently, scaring you out of your wits.

"What are you doing here, y/n? You know you shouldn't be here." he said, taking you away from your curiosities.

"I- I just wanted to see."

"I know, sweetheart but it's not the time yet. One day, hopefully, you will take over this business just like I took over from your grandfather. Now, go back to sleep."

"Okay." you nodded, albeit feeling a bit sullen that you didn't get to see the person under the sheet.

It's been years since that night, and now you were the one who offered consoling words and friendly pats on the shoulders of grieving family members.

Your father had succumbed to his illness, leaving you alone in this world, alone with all the darkness and death. Of course, you missed him dearly but he suffered so much in his last years that you were somewhat thankful to Death for taking him.

Wherever he was, you knew he was at peace and watching over you.

Taking over his business was the natural step for you, death was just a part of life, and preparing someone's loved one for their funeral felt honorable and you viewed the entire process as a kind of art. When you were old enough, your father started teaching you bits and pieces about preparation and the embalming process, and of course it was only natural for you to develop even more interest for it and get the needed education.

You worked as his assistant at first and when he got sick you became the caretaker and the mortician.

Of course, you couldn't be the one to prepare your father for his burial, it was too much as you watched him disappear more and more every day while he was sick and you wanted your last memory of him to be as peaceful as it can be.

It's been a few years since then, and you were now one of the most respected morticians in your small town. You kept to yourself mostly, only having one close friend since you were kids, Emily.

But you weren't lonely, you focused on your work and your hobbies, like reading, painting and writing poetry, all in the company of your fur baby, your cat named Shadow. You had rescued the elegant black cat off the street when she was just a small lost kitty and ever since then you became inseparable.

Though, even you weren't immune to the troubles of dating. Most of your partners were a bit put off by your work, to say the least, especially if they'd come around to your house which you had repainted black, the decoration was halloween all year around coupled with the creepy paintings on your walls and the fact that there are dead bodies in your basement wasn't really an aphrodisiac.

It was frustrating because you wished you could share your life with someone who'd be genuinely into the things that interest you.

That's why when you found yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media, an ad caught your eye.

Sex dolls.

You chuckled to yourself as you got more comfy under your blanket, Shadow cracking one eye open to look at you from where she was curled up.

You clicked on it.

One doll in particular pulled you in.

Minho, the dark dolly.

He was beautiful, his hair black and shaggy, falling over his eyes, his features were sharp and perfect, somewhat feline-like and his lips seemed sweet and plump.

You liked the outfit they chose for him, all black like you dressed 99% of the time completed with a choker around his neck.

He was perfect.

You scrolled around looking at the other dolls, they all seemed intriguing but Minho was the one you wanted the most.

Besides, some of them already sold so you decided not to wait and jumped on it, ordering yourself the dark dolly. And it didn't take long for him to be delivered to your house, in a big black box reminiscent of a casket. Shadow inspected the box immediately, sniffing and rubbing against it, she seemed to approve of it.

You opened it up eagerly, finally taking a look at your beautiful Minho and he was even more perfect in real life than all the pictures they had posted.

There was a letter inside the box and you opened it up.

Hello,

my name is Minho and I am your dark dolly.

I love cats, horror movies, yummy food and staying inside.

Please treat me with kindness, even though I like scary things, I have a soft soul so never forget to pat my head.

Hope you'll love me as much as I love you.

"I'm glad you love cats, otherwise I'd have to send you back." you joked, as Shadow put her paws on the box, sniffing around before meowing at you.

"You approve, I suppose?" you asked and your cat meowed once again so you were satisfied.

"I guess you do." you ripped off the rest of the bubble wrap, scaring your cat with your movements as she scurried away to her place on the sofa.

Your doll was dressed in a black button up shirt that was almost see-through, coupled with black leather pants and some fine shoes. He looked so alive, it would've been eerie if you weren't already used to looking at people lying down lifelessly before you.

You noticed a little note sticking out of his pocket so you pulled it out and opened it.

My kitten!

I got ready for our rendezvous.

I hope you like the outfit I chose and I hope you'll enjoy our first night together.

"Kitten, huh? Interesting." you smirked as you grabbed the manual, ready to read it from top to bottom but your curiosity got the better of you so you reached your hand to touch Minho.

"Oh." that definitely felt like human skin.

Something was wrong here and you felt it from the moment you laid eyes on his still body. But of course, you weren't afraid, in fact you were determined to find out the truth.

You read the entire manual carefully, going over it a few times, specifically the part where it said the doll can bruise.

How can the doll bruise if there's no blood inside its body?

"Hm." you threw the manual aside and finally lifted the doll out of its little casket, setting it down on the couch in the sitting position.

It took some time to adjust him but Shadow came to sniff Minho and rub against him, seemingly she liked him very much and you trusted your cat's intuition.

"Give me a moment." you said to the doll before running to get some stuff you needed from the basement.

"I'm sorry for this." you grimaced as you sat down next to Minho.

Just a little prick on the skin is what you needed so you grabbed his hand and brought it closer to you as you held the little needle in your other hand. Quickly, you pricked him and waited for a moment.

Nothing was happening so you sighed putting the needle on a tray you brought. You were just about to get up when you noticed it; a tiny droplet of blood oozing out of your doll's finger. With a gasp you stared at the red liquid.

Your mind was reeling and before you could stop yourself, you brought his finger to your lips, licking at the droplet, the metallic taste of blood was unmistakable. Your doll had real blood inside its body. Something about that frightened you, but that fear ignited a flame within you and you wrapped your lips around his finger, lightly sucking on it, the blood coming out slowly as you lapped at it.

"Oh. Looks like I'm not the only one enjoying this." Minho's eyes were shining and his pants were filling up, the button almost popping off.

He was big and usually you weren't this impatient but it's been some time. Your hand explored his muscular thigh, running up to cup his erection and you swore you could feel him twitch in your hand.

You scooted closer to him, hand tangling in his hair and it was surprisingly soft and it smelled of shampoo like he had just washed it. You leaned in to take a whiff before pressing kisses there all the way down to his cheeks. His soft skin under your lips felt heavenly and you were already getting addicted to him.

You pressed your lips into his softly, then pressed them again a bit harder as your hands roamed on his chest. He was muscle everywhere and you were fluttering on the inside, your arousal increasing the more you touched him.

A loud pop scared you as you jolted looking down to find the source. A small laugh escaped your lips when you realized that the button on his pants had actually popped off.

"Fine, you're eager." you chuckled, sliding his pants down, your eyes on his prominent bulge instantly. Your nimble fingers unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his broad shoulders and strong biceps that were visible in the tanktop he wore.

"Wait. I should undress too." you said and Shadow perked up from her spot before standing up and rushing out of the living room like she had understood what was about to happen.

You took your robe off, letting it fall on the floor, you were left only in the silky black nightgown so slowly you slid that off too, the material pooling around your feet.

Minho seemed to have some kind of reaction, at least his neck flushed a little and you were wondering how it does that. How is any of this real?

That didn't matter after you stripped him completely, your eyes admiring the work of art before you. Hands touching and lips exploring, you didn't care about how freaky all this was.

Somewhere along the way you lost your panties, so you straddled Minho's lap, your hands grabbing his face. He was absolutely stunning and your pussy clenched at the look in his eyes. It seemed like there was a fire inside them, a passion burning wild.

Your hand wrapped around his cock, big and heavy in your hand, making you whimper at the thought of it being inside you. You ran the throbbing tip against your wet folds before slowly sinking down on him.

The stretch was delicious as you took him in, wrapping your arms around his shoulders for support, your hands splayed on his muscular back. When you adjusted, you slowly started to move up and down on his length, the squelching sounds filling up the room as you dripped on him.

It seemed as if Minho was looking at you and you sped up, bouncing on him faster, your moans getting louder as you neared your high.

Your nails dug into his flesh as you exploded around him, your hand running down to cup his ass which made him cum too, the warm liquid filling you up and making your eyes roll back.

"Wow." you gasped. Only when you lifted up and circled the couch, you saw that his back had angry red scratch marks.

"Shit, I'm sorry." you leaned over to look at Minho's face.

He seemed to be smirking just a tiny bit?

"I hope it doesn't hurt." you said, not forgetting to pat and caress your dolly's head. You pressed a few small kisses on his cheek before leaving to get cleaned up.

When you came back, Minho was waiting for you in the same position so you cleaned him too and put some of his clothes back on, the pants definitely needed some mending.

"A sex doll?" Emily looked at you in disbelief, holding Shadow in her arms like a baby, moving the cat left and right.

"Yes, isn't he beautiful?" you smirked, patting Minho's head as he sat in your kitchen, company to you and your friend.

"I mean, he is. It's just a little creepy." she said and you gave her a pointed look which made her laugh. "But I shouldn't be surprised when it comes to you. He really looks human though." Emily added, coming closer to the doll as Shadow jumped out of her arms.

"Here's the thing. I pricked his finger the other day and he bled." you told her, adjusting on your chair as you picked up your cup of tea.

"He what? Now, that's creepy. Are you sure it was blood? Maybe it's some kind of trick?"

"Nope, it was definitely blood." you shook your head.

"Hm. Can you like open him up?" Emily asked, making you chuckle.

"Do you know how much I paid for him? I'm not about to cut him up, besides the manual said not to mutilate the doll."

"And why is that? Because they don't want you to know the doll's secrets? Just think about it." Emily shrugged. "Anyways, I have to go. Call me if you find anything out." she added, wiggling her brows.

You took a look at Minho, it hasn't even been a week since he was in your house, but he blended in perfectly with the rest of the decor, even when he was more than that. Shadow seemed to love him, always rubbing against his legs and sleeping on his lap. Animals had a sixth sense when it came to things like this so you trusted that you weren't in any danger. Still, you were so curious.

-

Come evening, you were in a mood.

There was music blasting from your speakers, the lights were all out except the dimmed moody ones and a few candles here and there. The tv was on too, a silent horror film playing on it. Outside, it was raining hard, almost drowning out any other sounds as big droplets kept hitting your window.

Shadow was tucked away in her room and you were wearing lingerie.

Minho was sat on your couch, you turned him to look directly at you as you downed a glass of wine before you started swinging your hips seductively.

The music took you over and you danced, forgetting about everything around you, including your companion Minho whose eyes were following every single movement, unbeknown to you.

"Oh!" you spun a little too fast, colliding with the side of the sofa and chuckling to yourself.

Your eyes fell to Minho, then the coffee table where you had left some cake and knife to cut it with. You bit on your lip as you made your way towards him slowly.

You picked up the knife, twirling the handle once, twice as you smirked at the dolly.

"Are you scared, doll?" you leaned towards him, your tits almost falling out of your skimpy bra as you pointed the knife at Minho.

He didn't seem to react at all.

"No? How about now?" you asked, leaning the knife on his cheek gently. "Or now?" you added, sliding it down his chest and abdomen slowly all the way towards the bulge that appeared in his boxers.

"Enjoying this? I'm glad." you smirked, putting the knife aside for a moment to unhook your bra and slide down your panties.

You undressed Minho too, spreading his legs a little and adjusting him before you turned your back to him.

"Like what you see?" you ran your hands up your hips to your waist as you looked back at him.

The reflection of the candlelight burned in his eyes as you slowly sat in his lap, his length filling your pussy up perfectly, your feet planted on the floor. A moan escaped your lips when you found purchase on his thighs, bracing yourself as you started to bounce on him. The sound of your ass slapping against his abdomen filled up the room and you threw your head back, enjoying the feeling of his tip brushing against your sweet spot.

"Ah! Fuck, Minho!" you moaned his name, feeling him twitch inside you instantly and you gasped as you came, lifting off of him and squirting all over his thighs. What a sweet mess.

"Oh." you moaned, taking him in once again as you sat down and started moving up and down, your thighs burning from exertion. You reached back to grab a handful of his ass, making the doll fill you up.

You leaned on him, your back flush against his chest as you grabbed his arms and wrapped them around you.

"I kinda wish you would come to life but at the same time I don't know if you'd like me. Right now, you have no choice. Isn't that kinda fucked up?" you looked up at Minho but there was no sign of reaction or movement. "Well, don't move. I'll be right back." you joked as you stood up.

You prepared a bath for the both of you, struggling a little to get him in but as soon as you did, you sat between his legs and relaxed in the warm water.

Shadow appeared in your bathroom, meowing at you.

"What is it?" you chuckled, leaning a little to the side to look at her.

Your cat's tail twitched a few times as she stared at Minho, releasing a few more meows before sitting down and continuing to stare at him. You looked back at your doll but he was chilling, looking straight ahead like he always does.

Eventually, Shadow gave up the staring and left the bathroom. Huh, that was weird, you thought but brushed it off as cat behavior.

After drying yourself and the dolly, you got dressed and tucked him in your bed. After years of sharing your bed only with your cat, it was nice to also have someone fill up the empty side of it. And Minho was warm and soft in a way, you had no idea how they made him like that but in the tired and lonely moments, you didn't care.

It's been almost a month since Minho entered your life and you shared almost every moment with him. He had watched you cook and clean, do your hobbies, play with your cat. But, you had yet to take him downstairs.

You weren't even sure if you wanted to. But you were dragging him around the house all the time like a kid drags their favorite teddy bear so you didn't see the harm in it.

Whenever a grieving family came to talk to you, Minho was tucked away in the safety of your room. Today, a particularly loud widow came in to cry to you about her husband who was now in your basement, waiting to be prepared for his funeral.

You reassured her he was in best hands and that you'll make him look as wonderful as you can, since the accident he passed away in had ruined his face.

You just needed to get some things from a few shops before starting, and as soon as the widow left you went to your room to see Minho.

"I'm going to town. I'll be back soon, honey." you chuckled, giving him a peck and a few pats on his soft hair.

You were done with shopping quickly and as the sun was setting you decided to walk across the main square and have a short stroll since you weren't carrying many things.

You saw a little crowd gathered there around someone so naturally curious, you made your way towards it.

An artist was sitting on a little stool, painting a portrait of one of the onlookers. You peered down to look at the canvas, hypnotized by the brush strokes and the movement of this person's hand.

Your eyes followed his arm to his face and your brows furrowed. He looked somewhat familiar. You were trying to think where you had seen him before but kept coming up blank.

"Do you want a portrait?" his voice broke you out of your thoughts.

"Ah, yes sure." you nodded and he started working on it immediately.

He was talented and quick and you kept observing him as he worked, still trying to think where he was familiar from.

"Here. Done." he smiled proudly and you chuckled.

"Thank you, it's really good." you took out your wallet. "Here." you gave him a 100, and his eyes widened slightly.

"Oh, thank you! T-this is a lot! Thank you so much!" he bowed a little as he took the bill from you.

"What's your name?" you asked.

"H-Hyunjin, miss." he looked a little panicked and you gave him a reassuring smile.

"Have I seen you somewhere?" you asked and he chuckled nervously, and you noticed a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"Maybe you've seen me paint here." he said but you still weren't convinced.

"Maybe. You come here often?"

"I'm trying to make some money to buy a gift for my lover." Hyunjin smiled fondly and you smiled back.

"That's sweet."

"Thank you. Your portrait." he said as you stood up.

"Oh, thanks for that again. Bye, Hyunjin." you said as you grabbed it.

"Bye, miss." he yelled behind you as you walked away.

-

Finally, you took Minho down to your basement. You put him in safe distance from all the chemicals as you got ready to begin your work.

Minho sat in the corner, his eyes twitching a few times as he stared at your skilful hands. You worked almost on autopilot as you have done this a hundred times, rinse and repeat.

It took a few hours but the man finally looked at peace, you had reconstructed his face as much as you could for an open casket, the embalming process taking up most of the time after that.

After putting the body away and cleaning everything up, your eyes fell to Minho and you friend's words rang inside your mind.

Maybe you could take a little peak inside him? You stood there contemplating, remembering that he did in fact bleed when you pricked him, so if you cut him it might be even messier. You didn't want to hurt him but as always, you were too curious for your own good.

Minutes later, your dolly was shirtless on your table, a scalpel in your hand. Never has your hand trembled but as you brought the blade closer to his skin, your fingers twitched ever so slightly. Your heart sped up as you took a deep breath, pressing the scalpel softly against the doll's skin.

Suddenly, he lifted his hand and grabbed your wrist, his eyes moving to look at you as you screamed, trying to step back but he held on tightly, taking a deep breath that sounded somewhat painful.

"Don't hurt me." he pleaded, his voice raspy as he took in shallow breaths.

You snatched your hand away, the scalpel clattering on the floor as your wide eyes took in the sight before you. Your dolly was alive.

"I always had this irrational fear that some day one of the dead bodies I was working on would wake up." you chuckled.

"I wasn't dead." he sat up slowly and you rushed to him, seeing he was dizzy.

"I know. You bled when I pricked your finger."

"By the way, that hurt." he gave you a look and you shrugged with a smirk.

"What about the part that came after it?" you asked breathlessly as Minho's eyes softened.

"That was more fun." he smirked, making you chuckle. "Can we go upstairs? The fumes are making me nauseous."

You helped Minho up, taking him to the kitchen where he drank four glasses of water quickly while you heated up dinner.

"So, you were aware of everything the entire time?" you asked and he nodded, his cheeks becoming rosy. "I figured as much. Something was fishy ever since you came here. I knew you were alive."

Shadow appeared in the kitchen, jumping up on Minho's lap immediately and he wrapped his arms around the cat, caressing her. She meowed and started purring as she pushed her head into his hand.

"She approved of you from day one."

"I'm glad she did."

"Here, eat and then we can talk." you said, as if this was the most normal thing ever.

-

"It's so nice to be able to move and be outside in the fresh air." Minho noted as the two of you decided to take a walk in the woods behind your house.

The woods were comforting always and even more beautiful now with all the autumn colors painting the leaves. It was a bit chilly but you dressed well, the fresh air was helping you clear your mind.

"I bet it is. So, what do you remember before being here with me?"

"I remember a lab. Tables like the ones in your basement, I remember I didn't look like this from the beginning. I also remember I could walk and move and talk before they put something inside us. We were plugged to something and suspended in water tanks. There was eight of us."

"Oh, I saw the others on the site! Do you remember them?"

"Yes, I do. We all had our cells before they put us in the tanks. Chan was made first. Then there was me, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, Seungmin and lastly Jeongin." Minho explained.

"Wait, Hyunjin?" you suddenly remembered the artist you ran into.

"Yes, he liked to paint."

"I saw him today!"

"You saw Hyunjin?" Minho's eyes widened. "Like this? Alive?"

"Yeah. Do you think the others are somewhere around here too?"

"Could be. I really miss them. We tried, y/n. We tried to fight the company but there were too many of them and we were kept in such a controlled enviroment. They kept injecting something with these big needles, it would make us sleepy."

"Do you remember anything before the lab?"

"As much as I dig around my mind, I only remember the lab."

"What do you mean, you didn't look like this the in the beginning?" you asked after a quiet moment of taking in everything Minho had told you.

"Well, I don't wanna gross you out with gory details." he said and you laughed.

"Honey, I'm a mortician."

"Right, you poke around dead people." he smiled teasingly.

"What a way to put it." you chuckled.

"Well. If you must know, they added skin later."

"Oh... Oh. So, I'm guessing maybe you're not human? Or at least, not entirely?" you said.

"I have no idea." Minho shrugged with a sigh.

Your hand brushed his as the leaves crunched under your feet.

You took hold of his hand, noticing his shy smile and rosy cheeks as your fingers entwined.

"We'll figure it out."

It's been about two weeks since Minho woke up and you had no idea your dolly would be so shy.

He avoided talking about what he was actually made for and never mentioned you using him for your pleasure multiple times. Minho enjoyed cooking for you and playing with your cat as much as he enjoyed watching you work and being the one to hold you during cold nights.

It was safe. It was comforting. You had found someone who was genuinely interested in what you do. Even when he was a little annoying, asking question after question like a curious child, his shiny eyes staring at you closely as he breathed in your personal space and kept asking stuff like 'What are you doing now?', 'What is that?', 'Why are you putting it there?'.

It was adorable as much as it was irritating, and you loved it.

Outside, it rained hard as you sat on your window bench, reading quietly while Minho sat on the sofa, cuddling with Shadow.

You gave him time to get used to everything, but you were feeling kind of impatient at the same time. Minho was observant, he learned all your little movements, the tone of your voice, what your sighs meant. He loved all the little details that made you you.

So, he stood up and made his way to you which got your attention, and you looked up from your book just in time as he stood in front of you.

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?" he asked and your eyes widened.

"Of course." you smiled then, your face heating up.

Minho sat down close to you, gently grabbing your book from your hands and putting it aside before he touched your face softly. He leaned in and you waited with bathed breath for his lips to collide with yours.

It wasn't what you expected, fireworks and passion, it was more gentle, more profound. He kissed you like you were the only thing that mattered in this world.

"I'm sorry I made you wait. It's just, I'm scared that somehow I will go back to how I was before. And I don't want that to be in that... prison anymore. Being able to see and hear it all but being unable to react, it was terrifying and I still have nightmares about it." Minho confessed as you ran your hands through his soft hair.

"That's not gonna happen, okay?"

"How are you so sure that it won't?" Minho asked.

"Because... I love you and I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." you said, Minho's lips trembled as he searched your eyes before a sweet smile spread on his lips.

"I love you too, my kitten." he smirked before leaning in, this time giving you a more passionate kiss.

It didn't take long for the kiss to escalate as Minho pushed his tongue into your mouth, tasting you. Your hands tangled in his hair as his roamed your body, exploring your curves and dips like he had always wanted to.

He kneeled between your legs, his knee pressed against your core and you whimpered into his mouth as he smirked against yours.

"My sweet kitten, I've always wanted to take care of you." he looked at you, eyes darkened with lust as you gripped onto his strong arms, your hips moving on their own as you rubbed your clothed pussy against his knee.

"M-Minho." you whined, throwing your head back and his lips attached to your neck and collarbone, traveling down between your breasts as he left hungry kisses everywhere. His hands gripped your waist before sliding down to grab your ass and lift you up.

You squealed as he turned your body towards the window; the view outside was breathtaking, all the leaves twirling in the wind, the rain dragging them down and washing them away just as the sky darkened.

"Here?" you gasped and he chuckled.

"Everywhere." he whispered in your ear before lifting your little nightgown and revealing your lacy panties.

"Very sweet." Minho grabbed handfuls of your ass and you moaned, nails scratching at the bench you were just sitting on. His fingers slid on your folds, your arousal soaking through the lace as he kept touching you, giving you a few spanks with his other hand.

You moaned his name, pushing back into him, your body craving for more; you were so touch starved that you lost your mind immediately, melting into Minho and giving him total control over you.

He wanted you as much as you wanted him so he slid your panties down just enough to have access to your wet pussy as he slid his pants and boxers down at the same time.

"I promise I'll take it slow later. I just need to have you right now." he breathed out as you felt the tip of his hard cock press and slide against your folds.

"Take me, Minho, please!" you pushed back again and he spanked you quickly, making you whimper.

"Stay still, kitten." he purred as he slowly pushed in and the stretch was perfect, your pussy taking him in easily until he filled you up completely.

"You feel perfect around me." he groaned as he started moving slowly, his hands splayed on your ass as you pressed your forehead into one of the decorative pillows on your window, little gasps and moans escaping your lips.

"Ah!" you moaned loudly when he hit your spot, biting down on the pillow as Minho's hand tangled in your hair, lifting your head up slowly.

"Let me hear you, kitten." he said, fucking into you harder, the sounds of skin slapping skin making your ears warm up in embarrassment. You caught a glimpse of your reflection in the window, seeing the expression on Minho's face sent shivers down your spine, your pussy clenching around his cock.

You let go and started moaning loudly, and the louder you got the faster he fucked into you.

"Just like that." he whined and you gasped, cumming around his length, making him more slippery and wet as he held onto you.

It only took a few more erratic thrusts before Minho exploded inside you, his warm cum filling you up deliciously and making you cum once more at the feeling of it.

"Oh." he gasped as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly for a few moments. You finally turned around, grabbing his face and giving him a sloppy wet kiss.

"I love you." you smiled as he pulled you into a hug.

"I love you. I'm glad I came to you." he whispered.

"Me too."

The two of you were cuddled up with Shadow under a blanket, watching a horror movie per Minho's request when your doorbell rang.

"That must be Emily." you stood up quickly and Minho looked at you with a panicked look in his eyes.

"You sure she won't freak out?" he asked and you shook your head.

"No, she's literally seen everything with me." you chuckled as you went to open the door. Minho sat still on the couch, cuddling Shadow to calm his fast beating heart.

"Emily, I'd like you to meet someone." you pulled your best friend into the living room and she looked at Minho confusedly for a moment.

"Didn't we meet already?" she chuckled and Minho's lips fell open.

"She's not gonna faint is she?" he asked, making the both of you laugh.

"Not that I know of." Emily said with a shrug. "Look Minho, when you're friends with y/n for years, nothing really surprises you anymore. Plus, she told me in advance. Everything that happened and what you remember." she added as you served some tea for her.

"Minho sometimes has nightmares about the company." you added.

"Did you remember any more details?" Emily asked after taking a sip of tea.

"Not really. Just bits and pieces, it's more like feelings. Fear, dread, isolation. I especially hated when they experimented on us, the tables. I don't know what they did to us cause I couldn't move and look down but it hurt. The water tanks seemed to alleviate the pain though." Minho explained.

"Okay, now that is creepy." Emily said and you nodded.

"Did you manage to find anything on the site?" you asked her and she shook her head.

"I tried hacking it. It has top security on it, it's out of my skill range." Emily sighed. "I wish I could be of more help."

"Hey, you being here is enough for me." you grabbed her hand as she smiled.

"Oh, do you maybe know where the company is?" Emily suddenly remembered and Minho shut his eyes tightly, willing himself to think of the location.

"Ugh. I can't remember no matter how much I try. I don't remember traveling from there to your house." he looked at you.

"It's okay. We can try again another day." you said, caressing his back to calm him down.

It was all so suspicious and you were too interested in finding out more about where you dear dolly came from.

You were enjoying an afternoon nap when a loud clatter jolted you out of your dreams.

"What are you doing, Min?" you rubbed your eyes as you walked into the kitchen.

"Oh. I'm making dinner for us. It's been exactly five months since I came here so I wanted to do something special." he said, his cheeks rosy.

"Aw, you are so sweet." you melted instantly, making him chuckle shyly.

When you sat down to eat the delicious meal he prepared, you got to thinking.

You've never been so happy or felt so seen. Living with Minho, sharing the day and night with him came easy to you. Everything seemed more lively since he came into your life, even death became an afterthought when you spent time with Minho.

"Thank you for the wonderful dinner." you smiled.

"Of course." he stood up and you followed quickly, almost knocking your chair down.

"Wait here a sec." you told him before running off to your room. If he had made an effort with the main course, you were going to make effort with the dessert.

Minho decided to tidy up as he waited for you, his heart beating hard in anticipation. While you were sleeping, he saw the lacy set you had put out in your closet earlier and he was so excited to see you in it... or take it off of you.

"Min, come here!" you yelled from the room once you were ready and Minho all but tripped over his feet, the carpet and Shadow who was lounging in her spot before he came to you, looking as cool as a cucumber. He leaned on the wall and smirked at you.

"What do you think?" you asked, giving him a little twirl. The lingerie you wore left nothing to imagination.

"I think you look stunning." he said, somewhat breathlessly as his face heated up.

"You gonna do something about it?" you taunted and he made his way to you, his eyes filling up with lust.

His hands landed on your waist as he pulled you in, his lips pressing against yours. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as you pressed your body as close as you could to his and his hands slid down to grab your ass.

You moaned into his mouth as he started massaging it, then giving it a few loving spanks.

"Fuck, let me take care of you, my love." you pushed him towards the night stand and Minho's eyes widened as you got down on your knees.

"Oh." he let out a quiet sound as you slid his pants and boxers down, not wanting to waste any more time. His cock was already hard and ready for you to play with and you were just too eager.

Your fingers wrapped around the base of his length as you leaned in closer, giving a few kitten licks to his tip, collecting the drops of pre cum on your tongue.

Minho breathed in sharply, his hands grabbing at the night stand behind him. You smirked, swirling your tongue around the tip, occasionally dipping it into his slit and trying to tease him as much as you could.

"Kitten." Minho moaned quietly, his hand tangling in your hair as you started sucking on the tip gently.

You were sure you couldn't take all of him but you were even more sure you were going to try anyways, so you slid down, taking more of his length in and trying to get used to it.

"You look so beautiful right now." Minho smirked, gripping your hair and holding you against him tightly. You moaned around him, sending vibrations through his body as you slid down more.

You bobbed your head up and down, wetting his cock with your spit and gagging around him multiple times and Minho couldn't help his desire as he slowly started to fuck into your warm mouth.

"Ah, y/n!" he groaned, accidentally pushing harder and making you gag. You slid off of him and he looked at you with panic in his eyes.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, his palm gentle against your cheek.

"No, I'm fine." you said, biting on your lip. "Just very needy right now."

"For what?" he smirked and you whined.

"You."

"Get on the bed, kitten." he said and you stood up immediately, lying down on the bed.

Minho climbed in after you, kneeling between your legs as he pushed your panties aside.

"This what you need?" he smirked, sliding the tip of his cock against your wet folds.

"Mm, yes." you moaned, already arching your back at the slightest touch.

"Hmm, I'm not convinced." he smirked.

"Please!" you whined desperately, making Minho chuckle.

"Okay." he said but you saw the mischievous glint in his eyes and you knew he was going to tease you some more.

He pushed in just the tip, fucking you slowly with it.

"Ah, Min!" you whined as he kept smirking, giving you a minimal amount of stimulation.

Your eyes teared up in frustration as Minho kept fucking you only with the tip, your pussy clenching and begging for more.

"Please, please!" you cried.

"More?" he teased, pushing a bit more in and staying still.

"All of it."

"As you wish darling." he said before pushing all of his length in and fucking you slowly.

You moaned as you wrapped your arms and legs around him and Minho held you close as he kept rocking his hips into you.

You reached bliss together, wrapped up in each other, completely content.

"Wait." you giggled as Minho started getting up so he can get a cloth to clean you up.

"What?" he asked and you pulled him closer, patting his head gently.

"Oh." he giggled cutely before standing up and almost running off to the bathroom.

While you laid there waiting for him, your phone started ringing.

"Ugh." you groaned and rolled over to grab it.

"Hello?"

"Miss l/n?"

"Yes, this is she." you sat up, thinking it was someone calling for your funeral services.

"We are calling regarding our dolly collection. We understand you have purchased our dark doll, Minho." the cold voice on the other end said.

"Yes, I have."

"We regret to inform you that the collection will be pulled back from the public and we will be taking all the dolls back to our company due to a malfunction. You will get your refund of course. We will come pick the doll up tomorrow morning." they said right as Minho came in.

"Okay, thank you for calling." you said politely before finishing the call.

"Who was that?" Minho asked.

"It was your company, apparently they are taking all the dolls back to the lab due to a malfunction."

"What? Please, don't let them take me! I can't go back there!" Minho looked angry and scared instantly.

"Oh they can come here. But they won't find anything. I have a plan, my love." you smirked.

You were not about to let anyone take away your happiness.

The doorbell rang at 9am sharp and you took a deep breath before opening the door.

There were six men in black suits and emotionless faces standing there and looking at you.

"We've come to pick the doll up."

Suddenly, you hiccuped and started crying.

"He is gone! My dolly is gone! I woke up this morning and looked for him everywhere. But there is no trace of him. I-I put him in my bed like always but he disappeared!" you cried and the men exchanged a look.

"Mind if we take a look around?" one of them asked.

"Please, go ahead." you let them in and they started snooping around immediately. Shadow hissed at them, running away as soon as one of the men came anywhere near her.

They were definitely dangerous.

"W-what kind of malfunction happened to the dolls?" you asked, blowing your nose in a napkin.

"We aren't allowed to discuss that." they answered.

"What's downstairs?" one of them asked.

"My preparation room. This is a funeral home." you said and they gave you suspicious looks.

"Can we take a look there?"

"Of course." you nodded and opened the door.

Then men looked around as you followed them, still crying silently and hiccuping a few more times.

"Well, he is not here. Don't worry about it, miss. You will still get your refund and the doll will be found." they finally gave up after checking every nook and cranny, or so they thought.

"Okay, thank you for coming." you said as they left.

You waited for them to get into their van and drive away before you ran back downstairs.

"They left!" you quickly opened one of the caskets and Minho sat up, taking a deep breath in.

"Gosh, I almost suffocated. I could hear them walking around here, it was so scary." he said as you grabbed his face gently.

"But they didn't find you." you smiled.

"No, thanks to my genius lover." he smiled back at you as you leaned in to kiss him.

"What do we do now?" he asked when you parted.

"We wait to get the refund. And then we'll see what our next step will be."

"Are you sure they won't come looking for me here again?" Minho sighed.

"They can try. But I won't let them take you away from me. I promise."

Minho wrapped his arms around you tightly, putting all his trust into your hands.

You knew you were running a risk as long as you stayed here, but there were preparations needed to be done before you could get away.

And you wanted to make sure there was no trace left for the wrong people to find you.

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[temis-de-leon]

He has a nightmare where he rejected you

Characters: Lucifer and Mammon (x gn!reader, separately)

Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5

Main Masterlist

CW: very OOC since they'd never reject you to begin with, but hey, that's why it's a nightmare

A/N: the rest of the brothers, as well as the dateables, will have their own part too, but I'm writing the requests and the fics for the 500 followers event at the same time, so everything will take some time <3

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Lucifer – You weren’t his first choice

Under the fear and the mistrust, you showed a clear interest in him since the beginning.

He couldn’t blame you; he was handsome, after all, and he knew his attitude was attractive to most.

And while he found you beautiful as well, you meddled too much in his family’s business and your defiance to him only felt irritable.

You were a nuisance. A threat to his Lord’s wishes.

He made sure to keep you at arms’ length except the few times he felt the need to threaten you.

Surprisingly, the more you forced him to know you, the more he couldn’t say no.

Your shared time turned enjoyable and you soon started to hang out in his office late at night or, if you were an early riser like him, in the morning during breakfast.

He should’ve expected your romantic feelings towards him, something he saw before you had the chance to tell him. The way you looked at him or blushed when he paid you attention, how you searched for his presence more and more.

He rejected you before you could even talk to him about it.

It was brutal, in a way, cold and straight to the point. He didn’t bother to pour his heart into his apology.

He had his duties to Lord Diavolo, to his family and the kingdom.

The attraction he felt for you, the love that could’ve been, wasn’t enough for him to stay.

There were two types of pain in his chest when he woke up: the pressure in his sternum caused by the sharp edge of the desk and the sting in his heart from the hurt in your eyes.

He didn’t do that, did he?

He accepted you, he accepted your love with open arms, gave his in return. Lucifer could remember the smile in your first kiss just as much as the sincerity in your voice each time you reminded him the depth of your feelings. He always opened his ribcage like you would with a book to show his reciprocation.

Staring at his paperwork in horror, the pool of saliva slowly drying under his distress, Lucifer searched for memories that could prove the existence of your relationship. Your weight on his lap, your scent in his clothes, the last message you sent him, the last time he treated you on a date.

When was that?

How many days ago?

Weeks? Months??

His fingers trembled when he pushed his hair back and he knew the sting in his eyes wasn’t due to fatigue. Now gasping, eyes wide open in panic, he got up and paced around the room, the false reality of his dreams thankfully fading away and letting him see himself pouring two drinks while you stared at him in adoration, setting you on top of the table to kiss you carelessly or letting you drag him out of the office for a good night sleep.

 “Dear Diavolo” he mustered to himself, taking his coat off and letting it fall to the ground before breathing deeply. “How stupid… Stupid…”

Although not entirely, the embarrassment of suffering such despair for a nightmare washed the panic away, making him thank everything that would listen that none of his brothers were there to witness his fear and desperation.

It was the last thing he needed.

However, still hating the oneiric sight of your heartbreak, Lucifer refused to stay in the office. Reading official documents and signing them with his beautifully practised handwriting seemed like proper torture now and he knew that going back to his work would only give him more suffering dreams.

Would you hug him for the rest of the night if he asked or would you rather have the roles reversed, as it usually was? Oh, what he would do to feel your fingers through his hair and your heartbeat under his cheek. He’d stay awake forever if that meant never letting you go the way he did in his dream.

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Mammon – He wouldn’t admit the truth

He thought so lowly of you during your first week in the Devildom that once he caught feelings, admitting them was simply mortifying.

The second born, Avatar of Greed, falling in love with a human? It was embarrassing at best and pathetic at worst.

Yet, he followed you every step of the way. Going to classes, to the cafeteria, back to the house once the day was over...

As days went by, he even spent more time in your room than his; watching a movie, taking a nap, studying or just hanging out.

And when he wanted to do something else? Something more… illegal and underground?

Oh, you followed. You followed him just as blindly as he followed you.

It was painful, yet wonderful.

How full his chest felt whenever you smiled or even looked at him, the complicity in your conversations, the comfortable silence you shared.

The quiet sobs that closed his throat each time he insulted you because he accidentally showed too much of himself, the horrifying emptiness of his room that engulfed him when you finally had enough and wouldn’t let him visit you out of the blue anymore.

Your feelings for him were as clear as the ones he had for you, but none of them were spoken about.

Yours came and went, first hopeful and then neglected.

His stayed.

He still followed, you just didn’t look back anymore.

He woke up crying, body hyperventilating and sweating and mind still in the horror that his dream had created.

He recognized the sheets as the ones from his bed, but everything else looked blurry and too dark to pay attention to. However, Mammon could feel the spot next to him still warm and the silhouette of your figure was visible on the mattress. A quick glance at the door and the lights of the bathroom shining through helped set his heart in a steady pace.

You were there with him, unavailable for just a couple of minutes, but soon to return to the comfort of his arms. Your clothes were mixed with his on the sofa, he was charging his DDD with your charger because his was in your room.

Even if it was hard to say out loud, Mammon loved you too much to ever let you go, as did you.

There was no possibility of that nightmare ever being real.

“Did I wake you up?”

There you stood, above him, hair completely dishevelled, eyes half closed, either from grogginess or the temporary blindness from light exposure, and hands reaching out for him. Your fingers intertwined with his as soon as they found each other and your lips slowly came down to clumsily kiss the corner of his mouth.

“What was that?” he softly laughed, quickly forgetting about the nightmare.

“Shut up, I can’t even see you”

He could only observe in tenderness and relief as you climbed over him, ignoring your side of the bed in favour of his entire torso, but, just when you were settling in, you licked your lips and stared at him, even if you weren’t entirely able to see.

“Baby, are you crying?”

“No, I’m not” he immediately answered in a defensive stance, blushing in embarrassment.

How could you know being blind as a mole?? Did you taste his tears when you kissed him?

“Mammon”

You tried to look serious, but the exhaustion betrayed you, turning your glare into a pout. He could’ve laughed at you, and he would’ve in any other situation, but the feeling of being too late to freely love you still crushed his heart and the only thing he wanted to do was to keep you close and hope you were still there by morning.

“I’m not crying” he insisted, this time in a softer tone.

That seemed to reach whatever was left of your consciousness, so you finally let your head fall on top of his chest to continue your slumber, talking one last time only to say what he needed to hear the most.

“I love you, Mams”

“I love you too” he sighed.

He’d tell you again once you were awake. And once more after that, just to make sure.

.

.

[livinginshambles]

I thought you'd be different | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Slytherin!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Summary: A cinderella story (maybe a little romeo and juliet while we're at it) but Hogwarts - Enemies-ish to lovers. You find an enchanted parchment through wich you anonymously talk to a stranger (James). When you meet him at the Yule ball, he is not who you expected, but you give him a chance. When you realise that was clearly a mistake, you flee cinderella style.

Probably part one of two again.

Notes: Not proofread, grammar mistakes. Discrimination issues, themes of bullying. Regulus is our friend. James is an idiot, but we knew that already. Sirius sucks.

Masterlist. Part two. Part three

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You could still remember the moment vividly, as if it was engraved in your memory. That moment when the sorting hat placed you in Slytherin instead of Gryffindor like your two older sisters had been sorted. You could still see the look of surprise, concern, horror and then eventually disgust, every time you close your eyes.

“Now we finally know your true colors,” is what your sister Alyssa had hissed coldly at you. You had pleadingly looked at your other sister, but Marla had supported her twin sister, disregarding the confused and scared look in your eleven-year-old eyes.

“Don’t talk to us, don’t look at us and don’t mention us at all,” she sneered down at you and for a moment you wondered how she hadn’t been the one to be sorted into Slytherin instead. But you had cast your eyes down and agreed.

But years passed and you had become the very stereotype of a Slytherin student, completely leaning into the cold, distant, quiet but calculating persona that your sisters had created for you. Might as well, you figured after your parent’s dismay at the revelation of your house.

You were making your way down the corridor, long strides as you passed your sisters while looking them straight in the eye. They grimaced at the sight of you, but without their entire group of classmates, they didn’t dare make any comments. A feeling of victory erupted inside of you, and you couldn’t help the small smirk that crept up your face.

“What poor soul suffered for you to look so satisfied?” You turned your head to look at the person who called out to you. James Potter and Sirius Black were both leaning against a statue in the open yard. “Did you get rid of Regulus or something?” Sirius taunted. “Finally had enough of him following you around, did you L/N?”

“Go die in a ditch, Sirius,” you retorted with an eye roll, but seemed unphased.

“Why so much hostility,” James unpleasantly remarked, and you halted in your step. “10 points from Gryffindor for loitering,” you pettily decided.

“If you have nothing to do, other than insulting students, I would love to recommend you to Professor McGonagall for detention. Heard she was still looking for the person who made all the pumpkins explode last week during Halloween, and you guys are terrible at getting rid of the evidence.” With a last glance up and down, you continued your way towards the room of requirement.

When you entered the sober room with a sigh, you noticed the small scrolled up piece of parchment in the middle of the room. You frowned. This was your space. The room didn’t open this space for anyone else, you made it specifically as a safe haven.

You cautiously approached the parchment and rolled it open to reveal nothing. It was completely blank. You shrugged. If the room left this here, it was meant for you, and so you took a seat and started drawing on it.

James sat in an empty room, his invisibility cloak hiding him from plain sight as he pulled the now folded paper from his back pocket. He inspected it closely, almost pressing the paper to his glasses in a curious manner. He had gone to the Room of Requirements earlier that day and found a piece of paper floating in the air.

James unfolded the paper, and his eyebrows flew up. Lines were appearing on the paper by itself, and a beautiful portrait of a weeping willow with a girl, crying on a bench under the tree appeared.

James fumbled to find his quill and ink. Then he started to write something on it, in a handwriting that he only ever used for written exams. Credits to Professor McGonagall, who had announced that she would not be grading anything she couldn’t read. And she had looked over her glasses at him while she said it.

It’s beautiful.

You dropped the parchment at the words that formed right under your drawing. You traced it with your fingers. Then you decided to write back.

Thank you, I’ve been dreaming about this for the past two days.

You frowned at yourself, unsure why you would disclose such information, but figured no one would be able to trace this back to you anyway.

James blinked at the response he got, mouth open in surprise. He wasn’t sure why he was so surprised. It must simply be a spell of some sort after all. He stared at the sad drawing and the sentence, and then he made up his mind, writing back.

It must be lonely for that girl to cry by herself under the weeping willow.

Your eyes followed the words that formed in a trance.

If she ever feels lonely again, she can always pour her heart out on this parchment. I’ll be the mighty guardian wizard that will make all her worries magically disappear.

A grateful smile made its way up your face and when you scribbled back a response, James couldn’t help but smile as well.

Maybe she will.

You doodled a wizard sitting on the bench next to the crying girl, a consoling hand stretched out.

That's how you became James’ best kept secret. He learned that you were indeed a student at Hogwarts, but that you felt lonely. That you enjoyed butterbeer, but never got to enjoy it on a Hogsmeade outing with friends, because you rarely had any. He learned that you felt inferior to your siblings and a disappointment to your parents. He noticed how you would draw a circle as the dot on your ‘i’ and learned, when he asked, that you did that because you had once seen Professor McGonagall do that when you were in your first year, and had practiced mimicking her handwriting, should it ever come in handy.

In return, he had told you that he felt pressured by the reputation that he had to maintain. He loved Quidditch and absolutely despised Ancient Runes, to which you had replied, “who doesn’t?”. He told you that he had illegally learned to become an Animagus, a stag, and that he wasn’t sure yet what the future would hold for him. He even revealed to you that he desperately wants to protect his friends and sometimes had nightmares, which usually resulted in a sneak around the castle at midnight. When you had asked him if he’d ever been caught, he responded with, “never”, and had explained to you that he had an invisibility cloak.

Two months passed and before you knew it, you were explaining Transfiguration through the enchanted parchment. You did conclude from this that your pen pal was most likely in a year or two higher than yourself but decided not to comment on it. James on the other hand, was under the assumption that you must be from his year, as you managed to help him study for his exams.

But now, it was almost 12 o’clock midnight, and James chewed his lip while he looked at the parchment. He hesitated for a moment. Then he decided to ask you the one question he had been yearning to know the answer to.

Who are you?

You looked at the paper sadly, and sighed.

You’d be disappointed.

I understand if you don’t want to reveal yourself. But know that I could never be disappointed by you, Willow.

James sighed when you didn’t answer anymore. He waved away the light that emitted from the tip of his wand and took his glasses off. He went to put the parchment under his pillow as usual, when he saw the scribbling movement that he’d gotten so accustomed to.

He scrambled to grab his wand to shed light on the paper but accidentally nudged them off the nightstand and onto the floor, where it rolled under his bed. James’ eyes flickered back to the paper in his hand, and he managed to catch the first letter of your name as it was written in capital letters.

But your cursive handwriting, the dark and lack of glasses made it impossible to read the rest of your name. When he finally reached his wand and put on his glasses, he heard the clock strike twelve and he cursed as he grasped the parchment tightly, hurried ‘lumos’ and saw that the parchment had reset itself to a blank page again, just as every night at 12 o’clock at midnight.

Wait, please! I didn’t catch it before it erased itself. Please write it again?

You let out a sigh in relief after you had internally bashed your head against a wall.

No, it was stupid of me. I’m glad you didn’t see it.

You leaned back into your armchair with a racing heart. You couldn’t believe you had done that.

“Regulus,” you acknowledged as you pulled the chair back to sit next to him in the library. “Y/N,” Regulus quietly responded without looking up from his book, and if you didn’t know any better, his straight face would indicate annoyance. Luckily, you did know better.

“You smile any brighter, the sorting hat will transfer you to Hufflepuff, you know,” you teased him.

His face distorted in a grimace and without missing a beat, he replied, “do kill me before such a thing occurs.” You shook your head and finally sat down. Then you pursed your lips in thought.

“You know how I’ve been working all summer to earn galleons?”

“No.”

“Well I did.”

“So it seems.”

“Anyway, I rented a small flat,” you blurted out. Regulus finally looked up at you, surprise almost evident on his face. Then again, you didn’t have the most amazing home situation either. You often opted to stay behind at Hogwarts for the holidays. It is how you two had befriended each other, especially ever since Sirius left him to his own devices at home. Parents, it was a trauma bonding thing.

“Congratulations,” he nodded, his voice trailed off as he tried to see how this would concern him.

“So I thought you might want to stay with me over the Christmas holidays? Your mother doesn’t hate me, so I thought it might be possible. Gives you a chance to get out once in a while.” You tentatively brought up the sensitive subject.

“And what makes you think living with you will be any more bearable than living in my own mansion?” Regulus snarkily remarked.

You squinted your eyes at him in a scowl. “A simple ‘no’ would suffice don’t you think?”

“Do I have to pay rent?”

“Depends on whether or not the answer impacts your decision.”

“So not then.”

You huffed.

“Fine, I suppose I could join you in your small flat.”

“Merlin, don’t go doing me any favors Reg, I wouldn’t want to owe you.”

Regulus shook his head in amusement.

Satisfied with your rather successful attempt to invite him over, you got up. The chair you sat on screeched loudly as it was being pushed back. You could feel the librarian’s furious eyes on your back and rolled your eyes at her as you made your way to the door. “Alright, alright, I’m leaving,” you waved your hand in the air and exited the room.

You made it approximately two steps when you spotted your sisters again. “Of course you would cause a disturbance in the library,” Marla spat at you. You raised your eyebrows but remained unimpressed.

“I see you’ve got your buddies to back you up now?” you commented and tilted your chin slightly upwards. Your eyes flickered to your other sister, their closest friends, and the marauders.

For a moment, you considered walking away, but there was just something about that twitching lip of your sister that had you irked.

You stepped forward, narrowing the gap between you and your sister. You leaned in slightly and then, “Boo.”

It took your other sister, Alyssa about one second to have her wand pulled out and pointed at your throat.

James watched the interaction with a small frown on his face. He didn’t really speak with the fellow Gryffindor twins, but their friends and Lily were friends, so the marauders had joined them on their way towards the courtyard.

His mind flickered to a conversation he had had with ‘Willow’ about her sisters, and he wondered if you felt the same sadness and inferiority as his pen pal. And with that in mind, he pulled Alyssa back by her robe with one harm, the other lowering her raised wand.

“Let’s not,” he shrugged, when she raised her brows in question at him.

“She clearly threatened my sister,” Alyssa defended.

You scoffed at that. “I said ‘boo’. That’s hardly a threat,” you rolled your eyes and glanced at James who tried to offer you something that resembled a smile.

Was he mocking you? “Fancy yourself a hero, don’t you, Potter.”

“Hey, I was just trying to help,” he raised his hands in defense.

“Cause you’re such a good soul,” you sarcastically remarked.

“Yeah, actually. At least better than you. That hostility is so uncalled for,” Sirius mumbled under his breath, and you shot him a glare. “Right, better than me. Let me ask the two-dozen tormented Slytherin students you’ve bullied this past year. Bet Snape will buy your self-proclaimed ‘kindness’.”

You were already walking away when Sirius opened his mouth to call something out to you, but James kicked his shins in attempt to shut him up. Your words resonated in his mind.

Maybe he was a twat.

Am I a twat?

What the bloody hell are you on about?

Someone called me a twat today. Now that wasn’t necessarily true, but the implications were there.

Did you deserve it?

Sort of.

Sort of?

I mean, I am only an asshole to people who are assholes themselves and deserve it. But I guess that makes me an asshole too.

You hesitated for a moment and decided to write your opinion on the matter.

Maybe you being an asshole to people makes them assholes. And then it becomes a vicious circle. Self-fulfilling prophecy and all that bogger.

You reckon?

Wouldn’t have written it down if I didn’t.

On a brighter note, do you have a date for the Yule ball after the exams?

If you’re asking me out, I already promised my friend that we’d go together.

Oh right. But would you save me a dance? Maybe at midnight under the main crystal chandelier?

James bit his lip again in suspense. The Yule ball is a masked ball anyways, if you don’t want to reveal yourself.

Midnight, main crystal chandelier. You decided to leave it at that. Besides. You could enchant the mask a little extra, so you’d be even more unrecognizable. You wondered who would be behind the kind words of the parchment.

It felt strange to you. Really looking forward to something to the point you could feel jitters in your stomach in anticipation. But it was having a certain effect on you that even the younger Black couldn’t help but miss.

Regulus squinted his eyes and moved his jaw in thought. When he had had enough, he pulled you aside.

“Out with it.”

You deflated. You knew that he knew what he was talking about, so you shrugged. “Someone asked me to save a dance next week,” you mumbled.

“And you want to?” Regulus’ tone shifted to an incredulous one.

“I found an enchanted parchment in the room of requirements and it’s connected. I’ve been using it to have conversations with a mystery person.”

It felt great to be able to share this with your friend and you leaned against the wall behind you. “So yeah.” You finished the confession with an awkward hand gesture.

Regulus took a moment to register what you said. And then, as if it was the most normal thing ever, he responded with, “I see. And you have no idea who?”

You let yourself slide down the wall and tiredly put your head on your propped up knees. “Probably a Gryffindor.”

Regulus started laughing. You snapped your head up and scowled at him, not that he was used to anything else from you.

“As long as it’s not a mudbl-“

You kicked his legs and made him lose his balance. You shot him a warning glance. “You know my opinion on that.”

Regulus sighed. You had once confided in him about your home situation, including that time when you had overheard your parents argue when you came home for the first time after having been sorted into Slytherin. Your father had addressed the matter as soon as you walked through the door.

“You’re no daughter of mine.” He had said with disapproval in his voice. It wasn’t meant as a figurative insult. It was a statement. Your father believed that you could simply not biologically be his daughter. The words had you avert your eyes to the floor in shame.

“My entire bloodline has been sorted into Gryffindor.” He had looked at your mother. “Your family does have Slytherins. She’s most likely the result of your affair with that muggle a decade ago. It is possible.” And just like that, he had practically disowned you.

“Okay,” Regulus relented. “We’ll see who it is next week.”

James was nervously looking around, standing partnerless in the middle of the dancefloor. He had long forgone the mask that he had chosen because it prevented him from using his glasses. He looked at the great clock just above the table with drinks and pulled a hand through his hair.

It was time, so where were you? Hopefully you hadn’t chickened out yet because he was absolutely dying to meet you.

There was just something about you. It sparked something in him that he hadn’t felt since Lily. He’d look forward to your messages all the time. Every morning, he practically jumped up in anticipation and excitement as he reached under his pillow to read your ‘good morning’ message for the day. A smile would pass his lips each time.

James was ripped from his thoughts when a hand was placed on his shoulder blade. It tapped twice. He stopped breathing for a moment before turning around. And then the breath was knocked out of both of you completely.

For two different reasons.

James stared in awe at you. You wore a white and silver dress, covered in diamonds. A delicate white mask covered the upper part of your face, and he stared intently at your eyes, but somehow, he still couldn’t pinpoint who you were.

He could see all of your features clearly, but as if he was in a dream, he somehow couldn’t piece everything together to identify you. A charm, he realized. He was disappointed but shook it off. If you felt insecure, then he wouldn’t push it.

James’ face broke out in a grin, and he stepped forward. He couldn’t help but reach out to your face. But you took a step back. His hand fell and he frowned at your reaction, suddenly scared. He wasn’t wearing a mask after all. Compared to you, he was completely vulnerable.

Before he could say anything, you cut him to it. “No,” you hoarsely managed. “This was a mistake.” You turned around and escaped from the center of the dancefloor. James chased you.

“Wait, please. I’m sorry!” He called out after you.

You slowed your pace when you reached the corner next to the staircase. Then you shook your head with a sight, and you pinched your nose. James could see your furrowed brows.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. But my intention wasn’t to dance with James Potter. It was a mistake. Sorry for wasting your time.”

James shook his head in his turn. “Don’t say that,” his eyes pleaded. “So you know who I am. Am I..” He hesitated. “Am I that bad? I don’t know if you’ve heard any rumors about me, or what made you have a bad impression of me, but I’m the one you’ve been talking to for the past months.” He looked at you desperately. “Give me a chance, please. I only ask for a dance.”

Your eyes flickered over his sad face. You knew James from all the pranks that he did, mostly committed towards your house. You knew him from the banters you had with him, and from crying students that you undid hexes for. You knew him from pushing him out of the way as he purposely blocked your path to throw insults at you.

But you also knew the boy from the enchanted paper. The one who listened to all your worries. Who offered advice and indulged into your hopes and dreams for the future. You knew the boy who confided in you all his deepest secrets and own insecurities. Who made your day and cheered you up with his jokes and positivity.

“I can give you a dance,” you caved, and you offered him your hand, which he scrambled to hold.

James was a fairly decent dance partner, you soon discovered as he guided you with grace. “So I suppose you dance often?”

“I just practiced a lot,” he sheepishly admitted. “I had to impress you somehow, you know. Someone like you had to be crazy out of my league after all.”

Your lips twitched. “I think you’ve got it all backwards, Potter.”

“You know you can call me James, right?”

“Well, James,” you enunciated his name. It felt weird on your tongue. You had only ever spoken his last name in contempt. “I’m not very liked by more than half the students of this castle.” You motioned towards your mask. “Hence the enchantment,” you added halfheartedly.

“You don’t have to tell me who you are,” James immediately assured you, and you did relax at his words. “I’m just really happy that you’re real.”

You let out a laugh. “Why would I not be real?”

“I don’t know,” James whined. “Maybe I was just talking to really sentient paper or something?”

His answer only made you laugh more. James’ grin only spread wider.

“Whoever you are, I wouldn’t judge you,” James added quietly. You watched him silently as you swayed around the room.

“That’d be a first,” you joked sadly, remembering your own family.

“What can I say, I’m just different,” James cheekily winked and then twirled you around.

“We’ll see about that, James. You have the rest of the night to convince me.”

The dance ended and you curtsied to each other, out of breath. “But you’ll have to excuse me while I go find a bench because my feet are killing me. These heels are no joke,” you groaned in pain and sort of started to limp your way back.

James quickly came to support you and held your waist as he escorted you back to the side of the room. When you discovered that there were not in fact any benches, you sat down on the first few steps of the staircase. He raised his eyebrows when you kicked off your heels and saw that the entire slipper was made of glass.

“I transfigured those shoes myself, you know,” you proudly stated. James looked at it in disbelief. “This can carry a human weight?”

“Yeah, it took a lot of different enchantments and attempts,” you admitted.

James’ disbelief changed to awe. He took a seat next to you and you two started chatting about random things. You looked at James’ profile as he talked about Quidditch and felt soft towards him. Maybe he really wasn’t so bad after all.

The two of you were deep into a conversation when you were interrupted .

“Who is this, Prongs?” Sirius curiously stepped forward and shook your hand. You couldn’t help but grimace at him.

You politely nodded and explained the situation, but even though you engaged into a civil, nonchalant conversation, you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable at the presence of James’ friends.

“Anyways,” Sirius leans in towards James. “Did you see Snape over there?” He nodded his head towards Snape, and you squinted your eyes at the boy in front of you.

“You’re not thinking of doing anything to him, are you,” you sharply asked. Both James and Sirius were taken aback by your new tone.

“Nothing harmful,” Sirius laughed, but it faded when you simply raised your eyebrows at him. Sirius looked towards James for help. James hesitated. He had been reluctant to indulge Sirius’ ideas ever since his conversation with you about being a twat. But Sirius was his friend.

“We’re just having a bit of fun,” James tried to explain. “We’re just joking around, besides, he’s in Slytherin, so definitely a blood supremacist.” Your face fell at his words.

You watched his features contort in disgust and suddenly you were eleven again, and all you could see was your sisters disgusted face.

By the time you had snapped out of it, Sirius was already making his way towards Snape. James had gotten up and his head flickered between you and his friend.

You got up as well.

“I really thought you’d be different, James.” You scoffed to yourself. “You really had me convinced there for a moment. But I understand that you’re really just a bully after all, blinded by prejudice. You really are a twat.”

James’ heart dropped at hearing you say those words. He felt ashamed and shook his head pleadingly as he searched for words. But the thing is, you couldn’t care less, because you were hurt too. So you turned around and fled up the stairs as fast as you could, just in case he would come after you.

“Hey Prongs, you coming or not?” Sirius called out. James looked back at Sirius as he contemplated his next move. He mouthed ‘no’, and then tried to run after you. But by the time he reached the hallway that you had disappeared to, you were nowhere in sight.

In denial, James ran towards the moving staircases and looked up, in hopes to find you there.

Had he looked down, maybe he would have caught the last shimmer of reflection of the diamonds on your dress.

James refused to give up, however and he started to knock on the paintings, hoping that they could tell him where you went. He just had to apologize.

A symphony of protests and yelling echoed within the hall. “Quiet you!” “Have you no respect for the sleeping?” “I will complain to Filch about this, young man!” “Leave us alone!”

When the voices resided, most portraits were empty, their contents having escaped elsewhere.

Defeated, James groaned and hit his head with his fists. “You stupid git!” he yelled out in frustration at himself. James slouched down to sit on the stairs. Then he reached for the parchment and a pen in the inner pocket of his jacket and started scrambling something down.

“Please answer,” he whispered. He almost had to laugh at how pathetic he must look.

You sat on your bed after having made your way to the Slytherin dorms.

I’m sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know why I said that. I’m stupid and I ruined everything. Please let me make it up to you. I enjoy being with you, I don’t want you to think of me like this.

 Like I said before, this was clearly a mistake.

James read your words over and over again and he buried his face in his hands in shame. He stayed there for a long while and by the time he returned to the room, the party was over, and people had started returning to bed. On the left side of the staircase were your enchanted glass slippers precisely where you’d kicked the off and left them.

Preview of part two

Part two

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[cressidagrey]

Holy Ground - Chapter 3

Summary:

Nobody knew that Azriel found his mate. Until she nearly died. This is the aftermath.

Warning:

Rhys Bashing (as usual), Inner Circle Bashing (kinda), Referenced/Implied Sexual Assault, Referenced/Implied Domestic Violence, Discussion of Religion(?), Chronic Injury/Pain/Illness, Minor Character Death (It's probably nobody you love), Magical Work Accidents, Explosions, Injuries

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

The library was supposed to be a safe space. The priestesses were supposed to be sheltered there.

A place far away from the terrors of the world. A place where they could study and learn far from the grasp of those who would harm them.

But clearly today that peace had been destroyed, Rhys reflected weakly. 

Merrill was dead. 

Neither Cassian or Rhys had let Gwyn see the…carnage of that, Nesta and Emerie bracketing her away from…her fellow priestesses’ corpse…and Irena…

Rhys had to keep repeating the words to himself, over and over again. Like a litany, a prayer, desperately trying to make them stick. 

Irena was alive. Irena would be fine.

 She would be alright, even though she looked so, so pale, deathly pale in Azriel's arms.

Irena.

Irena, who Azriel had saved around two centuries ago…

Not from the horrors of the war but from her husband.

The daughter of a merchant, married off young, to one of the richest men in the midlands…she had been raised to run an estate…had excelled at it in fact. And her husband had excelled in killing young girls.

The things he had put her through... The things he had done... 

Azriel, who had found her and brought her to Velaris had been shocked that she'd stayed in one piece to be honest. Rhys had been shocked too.

And once she had been in the library…she had excelled once more.

Rhys had gotten long used to see her handwriting, not long suffering Clotho’s, fill out the sheets with expenditures and acquisitions.

She had cut the fat, made sure that the House of Wind was self sufficient, thanks to research requests being able to be submitted, thanks to patents and the gardens…

Irena had been a godssend. Literally. 

Rhys wasn't quite sure how they had survived before her.

But the last fucking thing he had expected was that…her and Azriel were…mates.

Rhysand had not seen that coming in a million years

But there was no question about it.

If Irena's thoughts, an utter mess of shock and pain and grief and agony...with the only thing that ran through it the whole time was her thread to Azriel wouldn't have been a dead giveaway...then it would have been Azriel's behaviour.

Azriel who had gone on his knees next to the priestess, his hands slick with her blood and had simply clung to her. He had begged her, his voice broken.

Rhys would never forget the sound of his brother's voice, the pure desperation bleeding from every single letter. Please. We haven't had enough time. I am going to be so furious with you if you die. We may have our first fight. Don't you dare. Open your eyes. Look at me, love. You can't go. Fight.

That look on Azriel's face as he had held her close, refusing to let go as he tried to will her back from death's clutches. The words he had kept murmuring like a prayer. A desperate mantra to the Mother, the Cauldron, anyone who would listen.

Azriel was never the most expressive of them. He rarely even showed a flicker of emotion for most things. To see him lose so much control, to beg. To see tears in his eyes. None of them had ever seen him like that before, had ever even considered the possibility of him acting like that.

He was always composed. Always calm, collected, in control. To see him on his knees next to Irena, begging her not to leave as he pressed kisses to her forehead and kept telling her to stay with him…

For a moment, it had felt like he had forgotten the others even existed. That nothing had mattered except her pulse, the slight rise and fall of her chest. The only thing that had mattered to him in that moment was that she was still with him, still alive.

She was important to him. There was no question about it. 

Sometime during the last few years, that Priestess had become the Shadowsinger’s whole focus. 

Sometime in the past, Irena had become Azriel's whole world.

And Rhys hadn't known. Had known nothing about this.

He could feel the guilt clawing up inside him. 

Rhys had had no fucking clue this was happening, right underneath his nose. 

That he had never noticed that Azriel's eyes lingered on Irena…had never noticed that Azriel sought her company…hadn’t known that Azriel had spent time with her… 

Rhys hadn't known. Hadn't...hadn't even thought about it.

Azriel had pulled back from them after that catastrophic solstice and Rhys had let him. Had thought that Azriel needed to lick his wounds...that maybe then he would see it Rhysand's way...but none of this happened.

Azriel had kept his anger tightly leashed, even though Rhys had gotten a taste of it every time he badgered him. But Azriel hadn’t exploded. 

Instead, he had been vicious in throwing Rhysan’ own words back into his face. 

There didn’t pass one day where Rhys didn’t regret that one sentence, because Azriel was clearly… furious about it. 

Azriel had grown distant...cold...unfeeling. And Rhys had badgered him and got on his nerves and figured that if Azriel would just get it out of his system… but he didn't. Didn't get angry. Didn't fight. Didn't scream...Rhys would have preferred it if he did.

What wouldn't he give to have that old Azriel back, the one who actually got mad? Who didn't just accept everything with a nod and a word of acknowledgment. Who talked to Rhysand, who told him when he'd done something wrong. Who fought with him if he went too far, who made his opinion known. Who told him to his face when he was being an arrogant prick, who didn't just accept his commands with a quiet nod.

But now it made sense. Azriel hadn't fucking cared what Rhys did, what any of the did, because his priorities had been rearranged completely. As long as he could get home to his priestess...he hadn't cared.

He did all the missions Rhys had for him and then went home to the House of Wind and found one quiet corner or another to romance his mate, out of the view from everybody else. 

And that was the worst part. That Rhys had been such a prick to Azriel, so wrapped up in his own worries, his own fears, that he hadn't even noticed that something had shifted so fundamentally in his brother. Had pushed him so far away.

Rhys had thought that they were simply…in a rought spot. That in a few years, Azriel would be over Elain and it would be done. But now Rhys realised that…that it wasn’t about Elain. Not really.  

Rhys had never realized how deep this was, how close to the breaking point he'd taken his brother.

Deep enough that the fact that Azriel had found his mate...that was something that Azriel didn't share with any of them. Something that happy... Azriel had just kept silent.

Azriel hadn’t trusted them with the most treasured and precious thing in his life. 

And that hurt. Hurt more than he could put into words. 

That Azriel had found the one person who he was destined for, the only one who was perfect for him in the entire world. The one person who would love and cherish him, who would complete him, who would accept him as he was, who would understand him...and he hadn't told Rhys. Hadn't told any of them.

Azriel hadn't told anyone that he had found his mate. 

Had kept that to himself for who knew how long. Just how long had it been? When had he figured out they were mated? 

“Bring her to her room,” Madja said at the moment. And Rhys watched as seemingly some colour went back into Irena's cheeks, her eyes closed, her breathing still laboured…her mind filled with Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. and Safe, Safe, Safe. 

“My room,” Azriel corrected, his voice fierce. The mating instincts must have gone completely haywire at that very moment, not soothed at all, even when he had pressed a kiss against her forehead moments before.

.“Your room?” Gwyn asked sharply, staring at Azriel, then at still, quiet Irena. She seemed to be utterly shell-shocked, not that Rhys could fault her. 

"Gwyn," Rhys said carefully. It was best if none of them...interfered right now. This was between Azriel and his mate.

"Az, how long have the two of you..." Cassian asked, clearly having come to the same conclusion, but Rhys interrupted him. *Leave him be,* he warned their brother.

*Leave him be?! I had no idea that he and Irena are...whatever the fuck they are!*

“Two years. She’s my mate,” Azriel answered, not even looking at any of them, completely concentrated on said mate. 

"Mate," Irena agreed weakly. "Mine."

"Yours," Azriel agreed, his voice hoarse, as he picked her up carefully like his mate was made out of spun glass. "Let's tuck you into bed, Love," he told her softly. 

And off his spymaster went carrying the priestess that was his mate.

Rhys could just stare after them. 

"Did you know?" Cassian demanded sharply.

"I had absolutely no fucking clue," Rhys admitted weakly.

He felt the guilt swirling inside him, deep and bitter and vicious. He should have known. He should have realized and supported Azriel.

But it had been Rhys who had pushed him so far away that he hadn't told him. That he didn't even think that he could tell Rhys that he had found his mate.

And it hurt. Gods, it hurt. To know that Azriel had kept something that he should have been so happy about to himself just so he wouldn't have to deal with Rhys's bullshit.

Cassian started barking orders...About a stretcher and about Merrill's body...It would be taken away and prepared for the last rites. 

It wasn't often that one of the priestesses died. It wasn't...They were safe here. They were supposed to be safe here...but whatever happened in this room…

“What even happened?” Rhys asked, as he turned around to surview the carnage. 

It was bad. Really bad. 

“Irena went to talk to Merill, because Merrill got…angry with one of the newer acolytes…” Gwyn said, her voice shaky. “Merrill was in a bad mood because Irena forbid her newest research project.”

Her newest research project? It was well known that Merrill was brilliant. So for Irena to…

"Why did she forbid it?" Rhys asked curiously.

"It involved some form of spell crafting. Irena wanted Merrill to have supervision from a spellcrafter, because it was a language that none of us actually understood and we didn’t eve know about what kind of spell it was…Merill didn't think that was needed," Gwyn said weakly, wiping away tears. "And now look where that got us. God, how could Merrill be this stupid?"

"It wasn't stupidity, it was probably arrogance," Cassian said with a sigh. "It's dumb luck that only...that only Irena got hurt.

Rhys couldn't but agree with Cassian's assessment. It was a miracle that Irena was alive. That she'd survived when Merrill’s body was…near unrecognisable….clearly it had been closer to whatever had blown up in their faces

Merrill had probably thought she knew what she was doing, but she didn't have the skill or training to work on advanced spell work. I

rena wasn’t the type of person who would deny research on a whim either. If she believed that Merrill needed supervision then Merrill had needed supervision.

Irena was clever. And cautious. 

Azriel's mate was a damn good judge of character after all.

Gods, Azriel's mate. What a thought…

The spymaster and the priestess. Rhys’ near silent brother and…and gentle, caring Irena, the beating heart of the library. 

Rhys would need to wrap his mind around that in private. 

“I’ll seal…this room,” Rhys said quietly. So nobody could enter. And then he would probably turn Amren loose in it, to turn around every fucking stone, so that they figured out what that spell had been that had reacted like it. The last thing they needed was for the spell to have any sort of consequences that involved Irena. 

"Clotho," he greeted the priestess as she arrived, inclining his head. 

What happened? she demanded, holding out her usual piece of paper. 

Rhys felt his stomach churn at that question.  

How the hell were they supposed to tell Clotho that not only one of the priestesses had tragically died…but one of the others was currently holed up in an Illyrian warrior's room, recovering from injuries that should have killed her, and that said Illyrian warrior was said priestess's mate, so was probably not going to leave her alone anytime soon?

And that was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to the absolute clusterfuck this whole situation was. There was nothing to do except to simply tell Clotho the truth and hope that she didn't have a breakdown.

"There was an...accident. Merrill is dead," he told her bluntly.

For a moment Clotho was just frozen in place. But he could tell that his words had hit her hard. That she was shocked, horrified, stunned beyond belief. HOW?!

And Rhys took a deep breath, trying to find a way to explain what had happened. 

To explain how one of her charges had been killed in a room where she was supposed to be safe…How her own experimentation, her own research had killed her…

And how no one had even noticed that a priestess had been mated. 

No...how the shadowsinger had mated to a Priestess and hadn't even thought to tell them because Rhys had acted like such as bastard to his brotherthat Azriel had actually thought it preferable to keep his mating bond a secret.

"Merill didn't listen when Irena turned down her research proposal," Gwyn said suddenly with a shaky voice. "Irena went to talk to her this afternoon, because Merill made Meera cry...It looks like the spell that she was taking apart went...haywire. Merill was killed in the backlash...Irena was hurt.”

Rhys just nodded. It was a reasonable explanation, even if it didn't cover everything that had gone on. At this point in time, he was almost more concerned about Clotho than anything else. The poor female looked ready to collapse.

I told Merill to keep away from that spellbook. We still don’t know what it even contained, Clotho agreed, even her handwriting looking shaky. 

He could tell that she was in shock and grief. Could imagine how she must be feeling. Clotho protected the Priestesses with all she had. They were her flock. To lose one of her charges...There was no way that Clotho would not blame herself.

She was going to blame herself for something that wasn't her fault at all. And the thought made Rhys feel sick to his stomach.

Clotho had enough weight on her shoulders already, the last thing she needed was guilt over something that was not even her fault.

IRENA?! Clotho demanded sharply.

"Alive, if just barely," Rhys informed her, trying to push down his own guilt at the thought. "Madja is with her."

In the dormitory?

"No, in Azriel's room," Cassian said bluntly. "Apparently they have been mates for... two years.”

Clotho's head snapped around, facing Cassian, her eyes wide. 

Nobody had seen that coming, not even one of Irena’s closest friends. 

It seemed like both of them had kept it quiet. Azriel must have so badly wanted to protect his mate from…from him, that…

The thought made Rhys feel sick. Azriel would rather keep his mate a secret than reveal to Rhys that he had found her. 

Than tell him that he had found his perfect match, that there was a female in this world that loved him above all others, who understood him, who supported him.

And it was all Rhys' own fault. 

He didn't have any other thought. There was no other explanation. If a friend didn't trust him enough to confide in him that he had found his mate, it was because he had done something wrong. So wrong that Azriel hadn't felt like he could tell him.

She wanted to be with him? Clotho demanded.

"From the look of it, she was barely conscious, but still claimed him as hers. And Azriel certainly seemed to think that she would want to be with him," Rhys told Clotho. 

And why wouldn't she? He was her mate. Her mate. 

"He won't do anything to her," Cassian said fiercely. "She's his mate."

Rhys agreed with that. Of all the males in existence, Azriel was by far the least likely to do anything that Irena would not like. Hell, he wouldn't do anything that might make her even feel mildly uncomfortable. And if she told him to back off, he would give her as much space as she needed.

"Mor, whatever Clotho needs," he told his cousin, who had brought Madja there, who just inclined her head, seemingly shaken. "I'll seal of this room...we'll need to...figure out what to do with it," he said softly. "Clotho, whatever form of memorial you would like to hold...take all the time you need and then let me know."

Clotho looked at him sharply before nodding weakly. She probably wouldn't need his help when it came to something like this. She knew how to handle something like this. How to give her fallen a last farewell.

"I want to check on Irena," Gwyn said, her hands shaking as she crossed her arms.

Rhys nodded. That was fair. Of course Gwyn wanted to check on her friend. And at this point all anyone could really do was wait anyway. "Let me seal the room and then we can go," he said softly. "But I need to warn you, Azriel will be...overprotective," he told her. "Chances are, he won't let you get close to her at all."

"I don't have any doubt about that," Gwyn said dryly. "But she's my friend. I should at least be allowed to check on her."

***

He cleaned the blood of her skin...The shadows procured one of Irena's nightgowns. She didn't protest when he held her up and Madja pulled the soiled, ruined dress from her body...didn't even flinch away from his touch on her naked skin.

They had never gone further than some heated...kisses...further than his hands slipping under her nightgown and pressing against her soft skin. He had never wanted to push. Azriel had been willing to give her all the time in the world. 

It had taken months until she had been ready for a hug…longer for a kiss. And he had waited. Gladly. He had gladly waited, because it was worth the wait. She was worth the wait. 

Her marriage wasn't something that she was just going to get over, and Azriel was never ever going to push her for more than she willingly offered him. 

He had never wanted to undress her under these circumstances. So he closed his eyes, and pressed a kiss to her head, not looking at all. 

Irena didn't make a sound, didn't even really respond...just stared into the distance. He wasn't even sure she really noticed what was happening to her. Wasn't sure she even noticed Madja cleaning the wounds…cleaning thin, silver lines, scars of her past, mostly hidden by her clothing, but still visible. 

This was also when they saw the rest of the wounds...and the fact that her bad leg was broken.

Madja bandaged it carefully, stuffing pillows underneath it to keep it elevated, wrapped the rest of her bruises and scrapes with a tincture.

Still, once she was clean, no more debris in her hair, her skin as clean as he could get it...and the new nightgown was fitted over her skin, he tugged her underneath the thick goose feather stuffed duvet and then the furs.

There was no resistance on Irena’s part. She just let him do as he pleased, let herself be maneuvered and tucked in with the patience of a parent settling a little girl into bed. She didn't say anything. Didn't protest at all, even when he curled his own large body around her smaller frame, even when his wings came around her, shielding her from the outside world.

But she didn't move to snuggle up to him either. Didn't reach for him, didn't try to press her body into his. Just...allowed him to pull her close and hold her as tightly as he wanted. Her body was limp and unmoving, the only emotion on her face a sort of...emptiness. A blank expression that...it was terrifying.

He wrapped his arms around her with a sigh, running a gentle hand through her hair with a sigh. He knew that she was in shock. That she had just survived something terrible, something traumatic. So it wasn't surprising that she wasn't really responsive at the moment, that her skin felt like ice to him and that she was shaking slightly, trembling…

But the instinct to comfort her, to protect her from everything that might hurt her was roaring in his chest. He couldn't pull away from her, even though he knew he should. Even though he knew he should just be thankful that he had her, that she was here, in his hands, breathing.

She felt so thin in his hands. So fragile. Like she might break if he didn't hold her close. And that feeling, the knowledge of how vulnerable his mate was, it was almost too much for him to bear.

“I have pain potions and a sleeping draught,” Madja said quietly.

Azriel felt his jaw clench at the mention of a sleeping draught. He wanted Irena to rest, needed her to sleep away some of the horrors, but there was also some instinct in him that revolted at the idea of making her vulnerable like that. That revolted at the thought of knocking his mate out when she couldn't protect herself.

“Is that alright, love?” He asked her softly.

She didn't answer. Didn't even stir. The only sign that she had heard his question at all was the way her fingers clenched more tightly in his shirt. The only outward sign that she even understood that he was there at all. That she could even hear him. "Love?" He asked again, his voice a gentle murmur. "Do you want the sleeping draught, love?"

“Sleep?” She repeated weakly. 

“Sleep.” He promised her.

She simply opened her mouth in response, letting him pour it down her throat and swallowed.

He ran gentle fingers through her hair as the potion began to take effect. As her eyelids drooped and her limbs went loose and he could almost watch the tension leaving her body. He couldn't help but press a soft, tender kiss to the crown of her head.

Azriel couldn't put into words how good it felt to have her in his arms like this. To have her safe and protected and healing.

Madja left with the promise to be back soon…and as soon as she left there was a knock at the door. He didn’t want to deal with his brothers. 

*We could bar the door, master,* the shadows offered.

Azriel considered that for a long moment. It was tempting. Really, really tempting to just let the shadows seal the door and tell everyone to fuck off. That they could deal with the rest of the world later and he could just focus on Irena for now.

He knew that he couldn't though. Knew that he couldn't keep the world away from Irena. For all that he would like to protect her from all the harm in this world and lock her away into the safety of his arms, he knew that he couldn't do that. And that Rhys would throw a fit if he didn't let them in immediately.

He sighed softly, his arms tightening around his mate. He didn't want to deal with his brothers right now. Didn't want to deal with Rhys lecturing him about his decisions. Didn't want the pity and understanding in Cassian's eyes, his careful kindness. He didn't want to have to hold up the strong facade when his brother pushed and pushed and pushed.

“Come in,” he said flatly.

Azriel sighed softly as the door was opened and his brothers entered, both looking at him with concern. There was something else in Rhys' eyes, something that he wasn't sure how to name. The High Lord had an indecipherable look on his face as he moved to come stand next to the bed.

But it was Gwyn that shouldered both Rhys and Cassian out of the way, that immediately went to Irena’s bedside.

“She’s asleep,” he warned her softly. “Madja gave her a sleeping draught.”

The Valkyrie moved in silence, but Azriel could tell that she desperately wanted to reach out and touch her friend. Could tell that there was some instinct in her to touch Irena, to comfort her, that she was fighting against. He almost felt bad for her, knowing how hard it must have been to hold back that urge to offer comfort, knowing how desperately she had to want to soothe her friend's pain.

He knew that the two of them were close. That Irena was well liked by practically every priestess…That Roslin was her very best friend, but that she also got along with seemingly everybody else, including Gwyn. 

 And he wanted to let her get close to his mate. He really did. But the need to keep his mate safe was too strong. Was something that he couldn't fight against. So he just pulled Irena more firmly into his chest.

His only saving grace was that Gwyn seemed to understand. Didn't even try to argue with him or demand to get close to his mate. She just stayed at a respectable distance and didn't protest when he pulled Irena closer to his chest.

He could tell that she recognized his possessive nature for what it was. Just a desperate instinct to hold and protect his mate from further harm. And she didn't argue with him. 

“You are the one who gets her the tea and the cookies, aren’t you?” She asked him suddenly. “I was wondering where she got them from. They were always good but the tea has definitely gotten better the last two years.” 

*See, Master?!* the shadows cooed, seemingly heaving and then coming to blanket Irena in their very presence too. *We are getting her the best tea!*

They seemed very pleased with themselves. 

Azriel knew that when he wasn’t in Velaris, some of the shadows even kept Irena company through the night, cuddling themselves beneath her blankets with her. He also knew that Irena loved it.

Knew better than anyone even his shadows that those moments of comfort, those little gestures, mattered more to his mate than any large gifts ever could. Irena had never cared about large gestures, about pricy gifts, didn’t care about gifts or public displays of  affection. 

But those little things…she loved those little things. Loved her shadows coming to spend time with her…loved it when he gave her a back rub to ease the pain in her back, or when the shadows brought her the tea that she liked or her favourite cookies.

And Azriel…he loved giving her that.  He was happy to provide each and every one of them. He would do anything for her at this point. Would bring her anything that she asked for with enthusiasm. Because he loved it when her face lit up or when she smiled when he brought her something she didn't expect to get. That was something that he would never get tired of.

Azriel would never get tired of watching her face light up with happiness at the smallest of gifts that he gave her. Would never tire of feeling those little gestures bring her even a small moment of happiness. It brought him somuch joy to see her delighted by something so small. Made something inside of him fill with warmth.

“I’ll let her sleep,” Gwyn said softly. “Tell her when she’s awake that she owes us all the gossip. None of us had a clue that the two of you were seeing each other.”

Azriel inclined his head in response, a soft grin pulling at his lips despite everything. "I'll be sure to tell her." Not that he thought that there was anything to gossip about.

Gwyn left with another smile. Which left him with his brothers. 

“Az.” Cassian said with a weary sigh. ”What the fuck.”

Azriel frowned sharply, a low growl rumbling in his chest as he looked at his brother. His arms tightened around Irena unconsciously, the protective instinct coming into play.

He knew Cassian, knew all too well that his brother liked to be a pain in his ass, liked to push him further than he wanted to be pushed. "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit, Cassian," he warned his brother in a low growl. "Say whatever it is that you feel the need to say, and then get out."

He knew that he probably looked completely insane. Knew that he looked like a madman clutching onto Irena with an iron grip and growling at anyone who dared get too close. But he couldn't help it. Couldn't help the instincts that seemed to be pulling at every muscle in his body, couldn't stop the tension that was coiling tight as a spring.

“How long has… this been going on?“ Rhys asked delicately. 

“Two years at next Starfall,“ Azriel answered flatly.

Cassian whistled softly at that. "Two years?!" He asked incredulously. "And you didn't think to tell us?"

Azriel's jaw clenched automatically at the words. 

He had thought to tell them. Numerous times. 

He had just never wanted to. 

First he had wanted to let things settle and solidify before announcing it to his family and letting them come swarming in to analyse their relationship…Later…later he just hadn’t wanted to. 

They were completely happy when nobody knew. Why change it? 

Azriel knew that he probably should have anticipated this reaction. Probably should have expected his brothers to be confused and annoyed, probably should have anticipated them wanting to know more. But he just hadn't wanted to deal with the questions and inquiries and curiosity and judgement. 

So he had kept his relationship with Irena a secret.

“It was none of your business,” he said simply.

Cassian stared at him, dark eyes pained.  “We are your brothers,” he said quietly.  

“Quite frankly, I just didn’t want to deal with whatever opinion you cook up about us,” Azriel said flatly.  His brothers were way too nosy and curious for their own good. Always had been. “We are happy. I didn’t want you to ruin that.”

They would have never respected his privacy or any boundary he had tried to set up. 

He knew that Cassianwas probably annoyed that he hadn’t told him about his relationship with Irena. Knew that he was probably feeling left out and...excluded. That he was hurt that Azriel had kept this from him. But he just couldn’t find it within himself to feel any sympathy at the moment. Not when his patience was already wearing thin. Not when he could still feel the fear of almost losing Irena thrumming under his skin.

He couldn’t deal with this right now. Couldn’t handle whatever pity or lecturing his brother would give him. Just wanted to hold his mate and try to keep the fear of losing her at bay.

That fear was already too much, already consuming him and threatening to swallow him whole. The only thing that kept him sane, the only thing that kept him from falling apart was the knowledge that his mate, his Irena, was safe in his arms. And he needed to focus on that if he wanted to keep it together.

“Azriel.” Rhys’ choice was choked.

Azriel stiffened at the sound, his attention flicking to his brother automatically. There was something in Rhys’ voice, some emotion in his eyes that Azriel couldn’t quite discern right now.

He had heard his brother choked or emotional or desperate before, but this was something else. This was emotion in his brother that he had never seen before: raw, unfiltered, and painful.

The tone of Rhys’ voice, the almost anguished look in his eyes had Azriel holding his breath for a moment. Had his heartbeat picking up speed as he waited for his brother to speak.

The tension was heavy and thick as he waited, his muscles coiled tight as he waited for Rhys to speak. His whole body tense like a tightly wound spring.

“I am sorry,” Rhys whispered quietly.

Azriel stiffened slightly at that, his eyes widening almost imperceptibly. His muscles were still tense, still ready for a fight, but the raw apology in Rhys' words, the emotion in his voice...it surprised him.

It was unexpected. He had expected the anger and the hurt and the bitterness, not the raw emotion in his brother’s voice. Not the apology.

He almost couldn’t believe his ears, almost wanted to ask his brother to repeat himself. But he just stayed quiet instead, just tensed and listened and waited for his brother to continue speaking.

He couldn't even blink as he waited, as he hung on every slight movement or small change in expression on his brothers face. The tension was so thick, so heavy he could almost taste it. But he still didn't move an inch. Just waited, every muscle still as a statue as he watched his brother with an almost desperate intensity.

“I am sorry. I didn’t…I didn’t want to hurt you,” Rhys said quietly. “I…we would have been happy for you,” Rhys promised him fiercely. 

Azriel felt his throat go dry at the words. The apology, the admission of his brother's intent to protect him, it was so unexpected that he almost couldn’t comprehend it. He felt some of the tension drain from his body, some of the tightness in his muscles loosening slightly.

Azriel's eyes widened almost imperceptibly, his heart pounding so hard in his chest that he almost couldn't hear anything else over the sound. The raw emotion in his brother's voice, the sincerity in those simple words...it was overwhelming.

“You were hurt,” Rhys said softly. “I understand. But you could have come to us any time over the last two years and told us and we would have been a happy for you,” he promised him fiercely.

"Would you have really?" Azriel asked softly. "Would you really have been happy for us and not made a problem out of nothing?"

He wanted to believe his brother, truly he did. But there was still a small part of him, the small part that had been hurt and mistreated and rejected so many times before, that was waiting for the other shoe to drop. The part of him that was looking for a catch, looking for the sign that this was just another manipulation.

He didn't want to feel this way, didn't want to look for the betrayal and rejection that had been written into his very soul. But he couldn't help it. Couldn't help the small part of him that was constantly looking for the next blow, bracing for rejection and hurt.

“We would have,” Cassian said fiercely. “You found your mate, Az.”

Azriel nodded slowly.

“How did you even hide it?” Cassian demanded, crossing his arms.

“I do know how to use a sound shield,” Azriel gave back flatly. 

Cassian let out a low chuckle at that, shaking his head as he grinned. "Well, you've always been more adept at keeping secrets than I am," he teased, a sly grin pulling at his lips. “ Since when do you sleep surrounded by furs by the way?” Cassian muttered.

“Irena gets cold,” he said simply.

“Wait, she spend the nights here with you?” Cassian suddenly realised.

"None of your business," Azriel replied flatly, not even trying to hide his annoyance with the nosy question. "Just focus on keeping your own mate happy, brother."

“How do you even sneak her up here?!”

"None of your business," Azriel repeated flatly. "My relationship with my mate is my own business, not yours."

He knew that he was being stubborn, that he was probably being unreasonable right now. But he couldn't help it. His emotions were too raw, too overwhelming for him to handle the intrusion into his personal life. He just wanted to focus on Irena and making sure she was okay, not on his brother's questions and prodding into the details of his relationship.

It was none of their business how he and Irena spent their time together, how they snuck around the house without being caught. That was something private, something sacred between them. And he wasn't going to share it with anyone, not even his own brothers.

He just wanted to protect that intimacy between him and his mate, wanted to keep it safely guarded from prying eyes that might not understand. He knew that his brothers cared about him, but he also knew that they could be too nosy for their own good sometimes. 

“…is she aware what these furs mean?” Cassian asked him pointedly. 

Was she aware that Azriel was laying claim to her with every single one of those furs that he hunted for her? Aware that he was following Illyrian tradition, regardless of how much…of how fucked up it was in many senses? 

“Yes,” he said simply. Kinda. A little bit. 

"So it's...serious?" Cassian asked him.

"She's my mate," he snapped back.

Cassian held up his hands in a pacifying gesture, a sheepish expression on his face.

Azriel let out a low groan, rubbing a hand over his face. "Just…leave it alone," he said tiredly. "Please. I'm not in the mood for any more questions right now."

He just wanted to be alone with Irena, wanted to hold her close and let the warmth of her body soothe his frayed nerves. He didn't want to deal with his brothers and their incessant questioning. Didn't want to talk about his relationship with Irena or how serious it was. He just wanted to be with her and that was it.

. His emotions were just too raw, too close to the surface for him to hold back. He just wanted a moment of peace, of quiet, with his mate.

He just wanted to hold her close and breathe in the scent of her skin, wanted to feel her warmth against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her protectively. He just wanted to know that she was safe, that she was still here with him. Was that really too much to ask?

He let out a long breath, trying to calm the whirlwind of emotions swirling within him. He didn't want to be angry, didn't want to be frustrated. But he couldn't help it, couldn't help the surge of protective instincts that came over him every time he thought about how close he had come to losing his mate.

"If you need anything, let us know," Rhys said quietly.

Azriel stiffened at the words, his hands curling into fists at his sides automatically. He knew that Rhys was only trying to be supportive, that he was only trying to offer his help. But Azriel didn't want that. Didn't want his brother's help or sympathy. He just wanted to be left alone with his mate.

He wanted to protect her himself, to take care of her and keep her safe without his brothers' interference. He knew that Rhys only meant well, but that knowledge did nothing to calm his instincts. All he could think about was how close he had come to losing his mate, how close he had come to never seeing her again. And the thought terrified him.

It made his heart clench and his gut twist in fear and pain, his hands clenching tight as he struggled to keep his emotions under control. He didn't want to be vulnerable, didn't want to let his brothers see how much this had affected him. But he knew that it was pointless to try and hide it, that his brothers could probably see the rawness of his emotions written all over his face.

Azriel didn't try to argue with his brother, didn't try to explain himself. He just nodded.

[marvelwitchergilmore]

New Routine Comfort

Summary: Tyler Owens x Fe!Reader -> You work with the Tornado Wranglers and have done for a couple of years, but being newly single means you need to find a new routine and Tyler might just be the person to help.

Disclaimer: Mentions and appearance of a cheating asshole ex, Tyler and Reader are more co-workers than anything until that eventually changes..., swearing, love confessions, use of "Sweetheart" from the Cowboy Scientist, two-stepping, teaching to dance, mostly fluff, little angst, and the Cowboy Hat Rule (..kinda..) Not Proof Read.

When you joined the Tornado Wranglers, you joined at the request of Boone. They needed someone who could capture more footage than either him and Lily got and, since they had raised so much for families that had suffered from extreme tornado weather, they wanted to make it more permanent. 

Which was where you came in. You could help with footage collection, fundraisers, social media pages, editing and a couple other things. The rest of the team helped where they could, but you managed it well. 

However, this did mean that you didn’t see the team as much as you’d like save from the videos they sent you and the group chat Boone had added you into. 

However, it was one night sitting in a local watering hole that you found yourself growing closer to one of the Wrangler’s in particular. 

Tyler Owens. 

There was a week here and there that you’d join the team storm chasing each season. Except, this year’s week of you joining them on the road couldn’t have fallen at a worse time. 

“Please don’t tell me you’re gonna sit here all night drowning your sorrows in crappy beer?”

You shook your head. “I’m not.”

Boone tilted his head. “Oh, not the head tilt. Please.”

“Come on, Y/n. He was an asshole. Forget about him.”

“Little hard to forget when I was the one to walk in and catch them,” you looked back at your beer bottle. The label was practically torn to shreds from where you’d been scratching at it. “It’s like it’s burned into the back of my eyelids.” You took a long swig of your beer. 

Just a little over two months ago, you’d watched as your relationship of three years burst into a ball of flames. You’d come home, smiling as you texted the Wrangler’s telling them the company you’d been pestering for a large donation that, with their track record, would put them out of pennies, had not only agreed to donate but also to host and bring all of their more-than-wealthy partners to the event. 

Only, as you called through the door for your boyfriend, you heard a noise. Had he fallen?

Then you found the trail of clothes leading into the kitchen before another one made its way up the stairs towards your bedroom. 

“Have you tried thinking of something else? Maybe watching a horror movie?”

You nodded. “Apparently finding your partner cheating on you in your own bed, and subsequently finding out they’d been doing that for over a year…is the scariest thing for me.”

“Well…screw him! He never deserved you! And you deserve a good night! And some decent beer.”

You gave a slight smile. “Boone. I like my drink.”

And it was true. You did.

You watched as he grimaced and picked up the other beer bottles. “Don’t know how you can drink that stuff.”

And away he went back to the dance floor with the others. And you turned back to your drink, your thumb still scratching away at the label. 

An hour or so later, Tyler’s eyes found you in the crowd at the bar once more. He’d watched you all night. He’d watched you for the last two weeks if he was being completely honest with himself. 

Since you joined the team, he saw you maybe for two weeks across the entire year. One week storm chasing, and the next seven days scattered throughout the rest of the year. But when he found out of Boone you’d be joining the team for most of the chasing season, something sparked inside of Tyler. 

He was glad to have you aboard, of course. He might not have known that much about you, but he knew you well enough to know you joining the team for longer than a week meant something was wrong. 

And once you arrived, it took him three days to finally figure out why. 

“Are you sure she’s okay?”

Lily looked behind her, following Tyler’s gaze. Though, she could guess who it was. “Y/n? Oh, yeah. She’ll be fine. She’s hurtin’ right now, but she’ll be okay. Dude was an ass! Glad he’s gone.”

Tyler had met him only a handful of times but he could agree with Lily. He was an ass. An ass to you and an ass for letting you go. 

But, as Tyler watched you, he saw something in you change. You’d gone from slouched on the bar stool to…alert. And nervous. 

Confused, he followed the direction of your eye-line until he saw…

Him. 

Stood with some blonde who couldn’t stop giggling into his chest as his arms were wrapped around her in such a way he was being possessive whilst trying to show her off. 

And it was at that moment Tyler realised he wasn’t the only one watching you anymore. Because your ex had spotted you. 

“No.” Dani and Boone told him as the bottom of his chair scraped the wooden floor. “No, let her handle this. She needs this.”

Tyler didn’t look convinced. So, Lily added. 

“And if she’s not ready, then you can go. But they’re right. Let her handle it.”

So, reluctantly, Tyler sat back down. But he was itching to stand. He was itching to be at your side. 

But you handled it. 

Your ex approached you, and he seemed to make some kind of asshole comment about you. You didn’t seem pleased. Then everything about you…became fake. 

One look around you made you realise there were plenty of people still left inside the bar. More than when you had entered with the team, even. If you caused a scene, you’d get kicked out. And your team would follow. But it had been a long week. They deserved a good night. 

So you took it. You took his comments about smiling more, and setting him free and his thank yous for showing him he could have ‘something more with’ whoever the Blonde was waiting at the end of the bar for him. 

And when he patted your arm, you could have thrown up. You never wanted him to touch you again. You’d told him as much when he tried to hug you, not ten minutes after being caught having sex with someone else. 

And when he finally walked away…you wanted to run. But you had no energy left. Seeing him again zapped it all. You had been in love with him once, and believed he felt the same about you. All the memories of your relationship flashed behind your eyelids, before going back on themselves. The pictures told you of the lies he’d made in the last year you’d been with him. 

Tyler watched as your entire body sighed before you started counting the cash in your pocket to leave for your bill.

Your ex didn’t get to ruin your night by being here. He didn’t get to take away your happiness, or your freedom to have fun in your bar. 

“Okay, come on.”

You looked to your side and found Tyler stood there. He took your hand in his and dragged you with him. 

“Tyler!”

“No, no.” Turning to face you as he finally reached the dance floor, he kept his eyes on yours. “He doesn’t get to take your night away. Fuck that asshole.”

“That’s my problem. I did fuck that asshole. And then he fucked someone else.”

“Then let him.” Tyler told you. “You deserved better than him, anyway. You still do. Do you know how to dance?”

You were in shock. You and Tyler were never exactly close. Sure, you’d talked over text, but that was mostly in the Group unless you needed to contact him directly for something about a fundraiser or an appearance at a school to help students when it came to Tornado warnings. 

After a moment, you shook your head. 

He gave a curt nod and stepped closer to you. “That’s okay. I can teach you. Is it okay if I put my hand here?”

You looked to see where he meant. It was around your back. You nodded. 

“Okay, just keep your eyes on me. I’ll make sure you don’t trip.”

With one hand in his and your other on his arm, your eyes fell to the floor as you mirrored his steps. “I think you’re underestimating my two left feet.”

Tyler smiled with a small chuckle, and pulled you a little closer before tilting your chin up until your eyes met his. “Eyes on me, Sweetheart. I promise, I won’t let you trip. And nobody can be a worse dance partner than Boone.”

“You’ve danced with Boone?”

“Somebody had to teach him how to dance. I think my feet are still bruised.”

You smiled. “I’ll try and not make them worse.”

Tyler smiled as your eyes found his own, again. You were relaxing into the music. You were trusting him to take the lead. And before you knew it, the pair of you were two-stepping further into the dancefloor, a bright smile shared between the both of you. 

Four songs, two line dances, and one group square dance later, you found yourself back in the comfort of Tyler’s arms as he held his hand out to you from where you had both sat down at the table. 

With a nod and a genuine smile, you took hold of his hand and let him lead you towards the middle of the dancefloor. Tonight might have been the first time you’d both danced together, but somehow, it felt familiar. Routine. To be in his arms, to have his hand in yours, to have only him in front of your eyes and in your mind as you both softly danced to the slow song that played from the Jukebox Band on stage. 

“Thank you,” you found yourself saying. 

Tyler lifted his head from yours to look at you, and you did the same. “What do you mean?”

“I was about to go home. I would have spent the next twenty-four hours wanting to be alone and depressed. Instead, you did something else no-one has ever done.”

“And what is that?”

You felt yourself laugh a little. “Taught me to dance.”

Tyler’s mouth broke out into a smile before he took your hand and spun you around and back in. “You’re very welcome, but if I’m being honest, I might have had my own reasons. I need my own dance partner and, as much as I love the guy, Boone isn’t the most graceful.”

“So you’re calling me ‘graceful’? Have to say, that’s never been a word people have used to describe me.”

“Really?” Tyler sounded genuinely shocked. “All because you couldn’t dance?”

You felt a small blush heat under your cheeks. “Maybe I was in need of the right partner.”

Tyler felt himself blush. “Maybe you were. But I’d still call you graceful. I don’t know what people have described you as, but- if you don’t mind me saying.”

You shook your head. Coming from him, something in you didn’t mind a bit. In fact, you wanted to know. 

“I think you’re so much more than whatever people tell you.” 

When his gaze locked on yourself, you felt the rest of the room disappearing. 

“You’re beautiful. In your mind, in your heart and in your soul.”

You could feel your heart beginning to race. 

“Nobody should ever make you feel anything less than that. You’re an incredible human being, Y/n. We’re lucky to have you. I-”

Tyler felt the words catch in his throat. He didn’t want to scare you away. But he needed to tell you. He wanted to tell you. 

“I’m lucky to have you.”

You smiled as you watched Tyler. He was one of the kindest men you’d ever met. Maybe he had a wild side, but that was what made him so good at his job. Beneath all of the adrenaline chasing, Tyler had a heart and soul unlike any other. He loved his team, his family, his job and his life. 

Slowly, leaning up, you pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

“I’m lucky to have you, too.”

Tyler smiled and slowly, the rest of the room started to fade back in, slowly. 

“You should come out with us more. Who knows? You might just catch the bug for chasing Tornados?”

You smiled. “Boone has been trying to get me to come chasing for years. What makes you think I’ll change my mind now?”

Tyler smiled. “We’ll go out tomorrow. The data is showing a small EF-1. Just me and you. After all, you can’t stay in the van forever.”

Tyler could tell by your smile you were deliberating it. 

“You know,” you started. “Boone isn’t going to be happy we’re chasing without him.”

Tyler smiled. You had agreed. “I’ll make it up to him.”

Your smile settled onto your face. “Okay then. But just this one.”

Tyler nodded as you both slowly turned around in a circle. “We’ll see.”

Two months later, you’d been more chases than you could count. That morning Tyler had taken you out in his truck, there was a chance you could have called him an asshole (in a slightly more affectionate term) as he drove towards the tornado. 

You’d edited hours of footage but being the one in the passenger seat was something else. 

But the minute you looked up and out of the window and back to him…something changed. Something changed between you and storm chasing. Something changed between you and your job. Something changed between you and Tyler. 

Boone, once he’d been cleared of his hangover, wasn’t happy about being left out from a chase. But Tyler found a way to make it up to him. And since you left Boone to sit in the front for most of the chases, had you made it up to him, too. 

Sometimes you’d stay in the truck with Dexter and Dani but it was becoming much more routine for you to sit in the back of Tyler’s truck as he drove into another tornado. 

And on the rare opportunity. Boone would give you his seat beside Tyler in the truck. You’d get better pictures for socials that way. At least, that was his excuse. It definitely wasn’t to give the Live Feed viewers what they wanted, which was more of you and Tyler together. 

But in those two months, things had just been…teetering. You knew you felt something for Tyler, but you were too scared to let your feelings known in case he didn’t feel the same. At the end of the day, you loved your job and the team. You didn’t want to give them up because of a school girl crush you had on the Cowboy Tornado Wrangler. 

But the others saw the way Tyler looked at you, too. They’d seen it since he first met you. He never made a move considering you were in a relationship, but that didn’t stop his feelings from growing when he saw you or saw your name pop up on his phone. 

And since you started actually chasing with him…he was a goner. 

He looked at you like you hung the moon, and you looked at him in the exact same way. But apparently only the team and the comments section of the videos could see it. 

“I can’t believe the season’s almost over.”

Tyler shook his head. “We’ve still got a month or so left.”

“I know, but…I’m really enjoying it.”

He smiled proudly. “Told you you’d catch the bug.”

You and Tyler, like every weekend, had found yourselves back in each other's arms on the dancefloor, two-stepping along to another song. And being back in his arms was like your two left feet had disappeared. 

It might have also helped you’d both practised in your hotel rooms over the last couple of months. For the last month, you’d both been sharing a room since every motel that Boone and Lily found only seemed to have so many rooms left. And with the others bunking together, it left you and Tyler together. 

“I got a call, by the way. A school just outside of Wichita is wondering if you and the team will come down and talk to the kids. Most of them have seen your videos, but a lot of them are scared and the city’s local ‘what to do in a Tornado’ has scared them all half to death.”

Somehow, Tyler had this magic about him. Whenever he and the team went into school to explain about Tornados, all the kids walked away a hell of a lot less scared than they were when they walked in. In fact, most of them walked away talking to their parents about meteorology and the science behind a Tornado. 

“Of course we will.”

You smiled. “Good. Because I already said yes.”

He figured you might have done. “When do they want us there?”

“As soon as you're available.”

“We could go after this next chase? There might be an EF-3 in the next couple of days. I want to make sure people are safe.”

You nodded with a smile. “We can go after, then.”

Soon the song came to an end. “I’m gonna get a drink, want one?”

Tyler nodded as he let go of your hand and he went towards the team’s booth. “Please.”

Ordering your drinks, you waited for them to be ready. Only, as you did so, you felt the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. There was a familiar smell in the air and it made your entire skin crawl. 

Then you saw him. 

“Aren’t you meant to be in a mourning period or some shit?”

You were taken aback by his abruptness. “Excuse me?”

“We’ve been broken up for less than six months then I come in here and see you trying to flirt your way into some guy’s pants.”

“What? Like you and her over there? Tell me, is she the one from during me, or after me?”

“You bitch. She’s my girlfriend.”

“And that’s different?”

You ex stood straighter and hissed. “Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes. She’s my girlfriend. He’s just- What? You’re fuckbuddy?!”

Before you could answer, you felt a much more comforting presence behind you followed by his voice and a hat being placed on your head. 

“Boyfriend, actually.”

You turned your head and looked at Tyler who just winked and you relaxed into his arm that laid across your shoulders. 

“And I don’t appreciate you calling her a bitch.”

“How long have you been fucking him?!”

Then Tyler stepped in front of you. The hand on his back let him know he’d done the right thing. 

“You’re done talking to her now. You’re gonna talk to me. Better yet, you’re gonna listen. The biggest mistake you ever made was thinking you could find anyone better than her. Now, I’m sure your girlfriend loves you very much and I think she came out here to enjoy her evening like everyone else and doesn’t want to be kicked out with her boyfriend who’s just been given a black eye.”

“Are you threatening me? You can’t threaten-”

Then Tyler’s voice lowered, making the conversation strictly between himself and your ex. 

“The minute that hat touched her head, it let everyone know who she’s with and considering I know the owners here, them and everyone in this bar will protect her over some scumbag like you. And unless you’d like to spend a night in a cell with the County Sheriff, I suggest you and your girlfriend find some other place to have a drink and you never even think about my girl again. Do I make myself clear?”

One look around the bar to see if anyone else had seen or heard what had gone on let your ex know they had. And from the looks of the patron's faces, they were more than ready to defend both you and Tyler against the asshole standing in front of him. 

“Whatever, Dude.” Walking away, he called out for his girlfriend, grabbed her hand and walked towards the door, constantly looking over his shoulder. Especially after one of the owners followed him out of the door and watched him load himself into his car. 

Once the owner walked back inside and gave a curt nod to Tyler, everyone went back to normal and Tyler turned back around to face you. 

“I’m sorry if-”

“Thank you.”

Tyler was expecting you to tell him off, or yell at him. Say something that made sure he knew never to do that again unless you asked. 

“What-”

“Nobody has ever done that for me before and, if I’m being honest, I was 90% sure he would have done more than just yell at me whilst I was here. So, thank you.”

“I meant what I said. You should never let anyone make you feel less than what you are. You’re beautiful, Y/n. Inside and out.”

You smiled and turned towards one of the beer bottles that had been placed in between you and Tyler in order to hide the blush of your cheeks. “Nice touch, by the way. With the hat.”

There was a slight twinkle in Tyler’s eyes along with his semi-confused and intrigued look. 

“You know about the hat?”

“You explained it to him, didn’t you?”

Then he realised. “Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right.” And nervously took a long swig of his own drink. 

But then you removed it from your head. “You’re gonna want this back.”

And for a moment, Tyler held it in his hand, deliberating on what he wanted to do, vs what he should do. 

He shook his head and handed it back to you. “Keep it. In case he thinks about coming back.”

“I don’t think he will.”

“Well, if he does. He’ll get the message.”

It took you a moment, but keeping your eyes on his, you placed the hat back on your head. Tyler swallowed another gulp of his drink and turned to face you before he fixed the hat on your head. 

“Better?” You asked. 

Tyler nodded as he looked away. He had to hide his blush somehow. “It suits you.”

Then the next song came on. 

“Come on, let's dance.”

Taking Tyler’s hand, you dragged him back to the dancefloor. 

By the end of the night, you all walked back towards the motel considering it was only a block or two away. Down the road, Lily and Boone were giving each other piggy-back rides, Dani was listening to Dexter talk about everything he knew about Tornados and where Tyler would usually be on his own at this point in the night, he found you right next to him, still wearing his hat. 

“Careful.” 

Tyler took your hand in his as he pulled you away from a deep puddle in the path. 

“Thanks.”

When you’d both finally made it to dry concrete, your hand never left Tyler’s. 

“What are you thinking about? You look like you’re in deep conversation with yourself under that hat.”

You broke into a small smile. “I am.”

“Then what is it?”

“Nothing important,” you shook your head. 

“Try me.”

Looking at Tyler, you took in a breath and looked back at the sidewalk. “Okay. I’m thinking about what to do.”

“About what?”

You stopped in your tracks and looked at where your hand was interlinked with Tyler’s. Then you looked him in his eyes. 

“I know you were just helping me before, with my ex and…everything. But…”

Shit. You cursed yourself over and over again. But you didn’t want to waste any more time in your life. 

Just spit it out. You told yourself. 

“Is..is there a world…maybe…where…” You took in a tough breath. “Where would you want something more?”

“Something more?”

You cursed yourself for a whole other reason now. You’d dug your grave this far. Might as well hope for it to collapse on top of you. 

“Something more between…us?”

The next ten seconds were the longest ten seconds of your life. You were pretty sure you’d died three lifetimes over by the time you felt like you were back in your body again. 

“You know what, forget I said-”

“Yes.”

You felt yourself physically stall. “What?”

“Yes. I want something more. There is a world where I want something more. And it’s this one.”

You didn’t know what to say. The others were long down the street so it was just you and Tyler. 

“I…I don’t know what to say from here. I wasn’t expecting to actually say anything.”

Tyler smiled and stepped a little closer to you. “Well, I’m glad you did.”

“Where do we go from here?”

Tyler thought about it for a moment before looking around. “Come with me.”

Tyler dragged you back down the street, over the puddle and towards a small field just off the side of the road. 

“Tyler, what are you doing?”

“Getting rid of the light pollution.” 

You felt yourself laugh. “What for?”

He pulled you a little further out into the field before the lights faded away over the hedge and all you were left with was the blanket of stars above you and Tyler. And, being back in the comfort of his arms, he danced you around a small patch of wildflowers. 

“Neither of us knew what to do, so I’m taking you on a date. Usually, we would have gone for dinner or I would have brought something with us but since we’ve done that part without knowing where we’d end up…I’m skipping to the end a little.”

“So you’re saying, for our first date, you would have packed a picnic and we would have gone stargazing? That’s…incredibly romantic.”

“Think it’s corny?” Tyler asked and then he laughed. “You think it’s corny.”

Your eyes narrowed a little. “Maybe. Just a little. But, I love it.”

There was no one else. It was just you and Tyler, dancing, under the stars. 

“I do have one question, though.”

“Shoot.”

“Would you have kissed me at the end of the date? Would we have danced under the stars then and would you have kissed me?”

“Now who’s the corny one.”

You blushed a little and laughed. “I’m serious. I’d need to know if you were a good kisser. Couldn’t wear my cowboy’s hat and not enjoy kissing him, too. And before you say anything, I know that might not be the rule. But it does come as a part of mine.”

Tyler felt most if not all of his face turn red at the thought. When you had asked him in the bar…you already knew. He was glad there were no bright street lights surrounding either of you right now. 

“Well, then, since you’re already wearing my hat…I can’t start breaking the rules now…”

With another smile, Tyler’s hand cradled your head as he pressed his lips to yours, letting his free hand hold you flush against him by the waist. 

By the time he pressed a final small kiss to your lips, with his forehead against yours, you felt your lungs scratching your chest to breathe. 

“Yep, definitely didn’t break any rules.”

Tyler let a chuckle leave his chest. “Come on, we should get back. Before the others start wondering where we got to.”

Boone and Lily had had too many beers to be left unsupervised. Last time Tyler had left either of them alone, they’d somehow chalked out an entire Tornado on the side of a motel wall. Even if it was exquisite, the motel owner wasn’t the happiest of people to see it. 

“Okay. But we’re doing this again.”

“What? The date, the kiss or the dancing?”

“All of the above.”

Tyler smiled and reached down, lifting his hat from the ground before placing it back on your head. “Good, because I wasn’t finished.”

With a smile that hurt your cheeks, Tyler took your hand in his and you both hurried your way back down the road, over the puddle and towards the motel where you both found Boone and Lily playing a very terrible version of hide-and-seek. 

But something that neither missed was the way yours and Tyler’s hands were intertwined between you both, or that in the morning and the mornings after, you and Tyler rarely left each other's side. 

And neither of you had to be pushed to share a room. 

It became a routine. Along with the dancing, kissing and storm chasing. 

And when the third teacher hit on him at the elementary school he was talking at, despite you finding it a little funny watching him try and shut down each woman with kindness that left them just wanting him more, he proved his point in front of the faculty and his team (even if they already knew) by giving you the millionth kiss of a lifetime from him, with his hat upon your head. 

[wasyago]

Please more Trail's gone cold au I'm begging you I need it just pour out every thought in your brain I want to hear it

hgdhhfbd i mean, sure why not

everything plot related is in the main post, there's nothing else really to tell. but i could share random details that didn't really fit into the lore drop. again tho, it's a small au and mostly an exploration of the concept, so there's not a lot.

❄️ gem and etho are siblings, i don't think it was mentioned anywhere? blood related and all that, they both have black hair, gem just dyes hers.

❄️ behind the scenes reasons for the order of deaths. generally i picked these three to be the main cast because i suddenly realized pet crew were just dungeon master and his two winners, and that was too crazy of a concept to not do anything with? so, tango as the main guy and actual master of the dungeon had to die first, seeing how he's the cave's favorite. pearl as the main explorer and as the one to unlock all the secrets had to die second, because she had to return to the dungeon / the cave to find out the truth, and she conquered it but never actually got out. and etho had to survive, because he's the "proper" winner and the one who actually escaped the dungeon with treasures.

❄️ lore reasons for the order of infection. tango you already know, but pearl and etho went in at the same time so in theory they had to start experiencing the effects together. but because etho was wearing a mask it did lessen the amount of sculk he inhaled, slowing down the process. wear masks kids!

and, well, you did say you wanted to hear every thought so. i really like the plot point of them leaving tango to die, so im gonna ramble a little about it. even just, the difference in their views on the situation is so satisfying to me. because tango had no idea something scary was happening to him! and for pearl and etho it was a life or death situation. and just-- they were talking about leaving tango and tango obviously, obviously, protested, because what the actual hell??? yes okay he's ill and a burden, but don't leave an ill guy to freeze to death in a cave, what is wrong with them????? or, okay, what is wrong with etho, pearl was against the idea. but, straight up tango did not plan for it to end this way, he had his whole life ahead of him and so many things ha still wanted to do! of course he cried when they left, what else was he supposed to do? thank etho for his awesome decision? be all cool and stoic and sacrifice himself? hell no, he didn't want to die, he never asked for this.

he did die tho, so. whomp whomp 🎺... i imagine he passed before pearl and etho even reached the stairs, so at least he didn't suffer for long. if he had a breakdown about being left alone he probably hyperventilated and inhaled like a ton more sculk, so that killed him even faster. must've sucked tho...

and then pearl, god, pearl.... she didn't encounter any dangers on the way back, since she wasn't trying to escape and the cave had no reason to be hostile towards her. but seeing how she was at the last stage before turning... she probably didn't get to tango before collapsing... not dying just yet, but too feverish and too weak to walk. but if tango was already back, he could very much go and find her. can you imagine the pure horror of drowning in your regrets as you slowly die and then having your supposedly already dead friend appear in front of you all cheery and oh so wrong. i dont know how much of tango is left in that thing, but the image of him sitting by pearl and holding her until she dies is so-- its haunting but it's sweet. and then there's still enough time to catch up with etho.

actually, gahhhh, all three pet povs are their own unique horror story and it's so good.

the horror of having to go through this terrifying experience, and then being the only survivor, knowing full well that the only reason you lived is because you left your friends to die, and there's no way of fixing it now.

the horror of everything falling apart around you because of miscommunication, and then the one time you decide to do it right you end up regretting every single decision and witnessing the direct result of your mistakes come for you.

the horror of being stupid... the horror of losing all control over your life and being betrayed in the moment of your most vulnerability, dying fully and utterly helpless.

this au is so sad but i love it so much...

okay wow that's enough for one post, ask more if you want tho!

[nyrasvoid]

In the Heat of Battle ⚔︎

♡︎ Gwayne Hightower x Fem!Reader

𖤓 Summary: Lady Caswell defies her family to become a healer in the war of the Stepstones. Amid the violence, she forms a bond with Ser Gwayne Hightower.

⚝ Warnings: violence, sexual assault attempt (nothing happens), includes themes of war and injury and explicit sexual content

♜ Things you should know: reader is from a minor house of the Reach (House Caswell), when the news of war are spread the ladies are given the choice to serve as healers. Reader prefers to serve as a healer in the battle camps than becoming a septa or marrying.

⚝ A/N: this is a bit like the relationship between Robb stark and his wife in GOT, just a reminder that my requests are open 😊

- Word count: 6k words (ik I went a bit crazy this time)

The hall of your family’s keep is quieter than usual, though tension hangs in the air.

You sit at the long table, your hands resting om your lap, trying to keep calm as your mother and father exchange worried glances from across the room. The fireplace is the only sound that fills the room. Your sisters sit nearby, their faces show their concern, while your two brothers stand at the back of the room.

You know why you’re all gathered here. It’s a conversation that’s been pending for weeks, ever since news of the war of the Stepstones reached your lands. You and the rest of the ladies were given a choice, but it’s clear that your family doesn’t see it as one.

Your father clears his throat, breaking the silence. "My daughter, you are the youngest of House Caswell. You must understand the choices before you. There are...expectations. It is time to think of your future."

Your mother nods. "We’ve spoken of this before. You could marry, my dearest. There are lords who would gladly take a girl like you. Or, if marriage isn’t your path, the septas will gladly take you in."

You’ve heard this all before. Marriage or the Faith. Those are the only options anyone sees for you. But they don’t understand. You don’t want to spend your life praying in a sept or playing the dutiful wife. You want something else.

“I don’t want to be a septa,” you say firmly. “And I have no interest in marriage, not right now. The war… they need healers. I can help.”

Your father’s brows furrow. He sits back in his chair, eyeing you with a mix of disbelief and frustration. "The battlefield is no place for a woman, especially not a daughter of mine."

“I agree,” your sister, Melissa, interrupts from across the table. She’s always been the dutiful one, her nose always buried in the books of history. “The gods have plans for us. You could do good in the Faith, sister. Don’t let the horrors of war tempt you from a safer path.”

“Safe?” You scoff. “The Faith doesn’t call to me, Melissa. I’m not like you. I do not hear the call of the Seven like you do.” You look at your sister. “I want to do something that matters, to help people. People who are suffering because of this war.”

“Being a septa helps people,” she tries to convince you, “you’d bring the Light of the Seven to those in need.”

“But that is not what I wish for,” you insist, “I want to help with my hands. Healing those who are wounded. Saving lives.”

Your older brother, Ser Arthur, steps forward, his voice firm. “Do you know what you’re asking for, sister? You’ve never seen war. It’s not some grand adventure. It’s blood and death, and it will haunt you long after the fighting is over.” He pauses briefly. “If you think healing will spare you from that, you’re wrong.”

Your younger brother, Theo, who’s barely old enough to hold a sword, speaks up, his voice shaky. “He’s right. I’ve heard the stories from the soldiers who’ve returned. The screams, the smells. The battlefield is no place for a lady.”

You turn to them. “I am not asking for a knight’s life. I know what war is. I’m not foolish.” You glance between your siblings and your parents. “But I will not stand by while men die if I can do something about it, let me help. It is my choice.”

Your father slams his hand down on the table, startling everyone. “And what of your duties to this house? You think you can just abandon them, throw yourself into the mud and blood of battle?”

Your mother’s eyes fill up with unshed tears, and she whispers, “You’re our daughter, sweetling. We just want you safe.”

You swallow hard, trying to fight back the tears that threaten to spill from your eyes. “I know you want what’s best for me. But I need to do this. Not because I want to run away from my duties, but because I want to make a difference. If I can save even one life out there, then that’s worth it to me.”

Melissa stands up, coming closer to you and resting her hand on your shoulder. “Please, sister. You’re smarter than this. You don’t have to go looking for death. The gods have other plans for you, if you’ll just listen.”

You turn to her, “I love you, Melissa. But I can’t live my life praying every single day, locked up in a sept.”

Everyone turns quiet, you could only hear your mother’s sobs and the fireplace.

Finally, it is your father who breaks the silence, his voice rough. “If this is truly what you want…” He shakes his head, sighing. “Then go. Serve as a healer. But do not say I didn’t warn you.”

You meet his gaze, nodding. “Thank you.”

Melissa looks like she wants to keep trying to convince you, but she just sighs in defeat. “May the gods protect you, sister.”

Arthur steps forward, resting a hand on your shoulder. “I hope you know what you’re doing”

“So do I,” you murmur, though you know this is the path you must follow, you still have some doubts in your mind.

As you rise from your seat and begin to make your way out of the hall, you feel the guilt of not listening to them, but you’ve made your choice. The battlefield may not be a place for most women, but you are not most women.

You will go, and you will help. No matter what anyone else says.

The morning you leave for the war, the sky is heavy with clouds, as if the gods were trying to tell you it was the wrong path. Your family stands around you, silent in disappointment.

Your mother is the first to approach you. She takes your hand, into hers. Her eyes are still red from the tears she shed last night. "Please, my dearest, be careful," she whispers, her voice cracking. "I know you think this is the right choice, but I can’t bear to lose you. You’re still my little girl."

You feel a bit of guilt but gently squeezed her hand in return. "I’ll be careful, mother. I promise. I’ll write whenever I can."

Your father stands a few feet away, his arms crossed over his chest. He hasn’t spoken to you since you made your choice.

"My daughter," he says, "If you find that this is too much, if you wish to come home, there will always be a place for you here."

You nod. "Thank you, Father. But I won’t be coming home until I’ve fulfilled my duty."

Your sister Melissa approaches next, she’s spent the entire night in prayer. "I will pray for you every day," she says softly. "May the gods guide you and keep you safe."

You smile at her, grateful for her words even if you no longer share her faith in the Seven. "Thank you, sister. But I will be relying on my own hands to keep me safe."

Arthur steps forward as he pulls you into a firm embrace. He doesn’t speak, but the hug says enough. "You’re braver than I thought," he says. "I just hope you know what you’re getting into."

"I do," you reply, meeting his gaze. "and I will come back, brother. Do not worry."

Your younger brother Theo, looks up at you with sadness in his eyes. "If I were old enough," he murmurs, "I would be going with you."

You ruffle his hair, "Well, I am glad you’re not. Stay here, and keep the family safe for me, all right?"

His smile turns into a pout, but he nods, "Fine," he mumbles. "But you better come back in one piece so we can play like we do."

You give him a small smile, although you want to do this, you do not like the idea of leaving your family behind. “I will come back in one piece, I promise.”

With one last glance at your family, you get on the back the carriage. You know this journey will change you. There’s no denying that. But you also know you’ve made the right choice.

As you ride away, the gates of your family’s keep slowly close behind you, and the view of your home begins to fade.

Your journey to the Stepstones begins, it is a long trip, longer than you expected, and after just a few hours on the ship, you’ve already had enough of the sea.

It’s uncomfortable, and filled with rough men, mercenaries, and knights—making their way to the battle in the Stepstones. Among them, you are one of the very few women, and the looks you get remind you of it.

But you are not alone. On the second day of the journey, you meet Lysa, a fellow healer, although her skills lean more towards battlefield survival and self-defense. She is very brave and before long, the two of you find yourselves sticking together, watching each other’s backs.

One evening, you and Lysa sit on the deck, talking about your families and why you both chose to leave them behind for war.

“So,” Lysa says, “you chose to be a healer instead of a septa. I have to say, I would have done the same, given the choice.”

You smile at her. “I couldn’t bear the idea of spending my life in a sept. Too quiet, too… restricting.”

Lysa laughs. “I get it. I couldn’t stand being tied down either. I’d rather be out here, risking my life, than sitting at home waiting for a husband.”

As you share stories, the bond between you strengthens. You find that you trust her in a way you’ve trusted few people in your life. It’s comforting to have a friend, especially on a ship full of strange and dangerous men.

But not everyone aboard the ship is as decent as Lysa.

That same night, as you make your way to your shared quarters, a man blocks your way. He’s an older knight, his face scarred, his breath stinking of ale.

“Now what’s a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?” he slurs, leaning in too close.

You step back in disgust. “I am a healer, here to tend to the wounded. Nothing more.”

The man chuckles, his eyes roaming over your body. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll be doing plenty more. A pretty girl like you… I’m sure the men will find other uses for you.”

You feel sick to your stomach at his words. “I’d rather be eaten by sharks than entertain men like you.”

The man’s smile fades, “You ought to watch your tongue, girl. Do not forget your place.”

“Trust me,” you say loud enough for the surrounding men to hear, “I know my place. It is not in your bed, and certainly not besides a man who reeks like a wet dog.”

You can hear the laughter from the other men around, and the knight’s face flushes with embarrassment. You ignore his presence and go inside your shared quarters.

Lysa claps you on the shoulder when you reach her, smiling widely. “That was brilliant,” she says. “You put that dog in his place.”

You shrug, “I just hope he takes the hint.”

Unfortunately, the old knight doesn’t. Later that night, while you’re asleep, you hear footsteps in the darkness. Before you can react, a rough hand covers your mouth. Your heart pounds in your chest as you struggle to break free, kicking around as hard as you could.

But before the man can do anything more, he’s pulled away from you, and you hear a familiar voice. “Get your filthy hands off her, or I will slice your throat myself.”

The man growls, but Lysa doesn’t back down, she presses the knife to his neck and slightly cuts it.

“You’ve got some nerve,” Lysa whispers, standing over him. “Try something like that again, and I’ll throw you overboard.”

The knight, humiliated and angry, mutters something under his breath before retreating back into the shadows.

“Are you all right?” she asks, turning to you.

You nod shakily, your heart still racing. “Thanks to you.”

She sits down beside you, her expression softening. “Us women have to stick together out here. There aren’t many people you can trust on a ship like this.”

You take her hand, squeezing it. “I won’t forget it.”

The rest of the journey passes with fewer incidents, though the tension never quite leaves. You and Lysa keep a careful eye on each other, making sure that no one else tries anything again. When the ship finally reaches the Stepstones, you’re relieved to set foot on solid ground.

When you arrive at the healers’ tent, you’re greeted not by the woman you were expecting but by an old maester. He introduces himself as Maester Aegred, and though he is kind, you could see the surprise in his eyes the moment he saw you.

“You’re the healer?” he asks, raising his brow slightly.

“I am,” you reply, straightening your back, “Lady Caswell, sent by my family to serve here.”

Maester Aegred nods slowly, though he seems uncertain. “You’re one of the only women in this camp, I’m afraid. It will not be easy for you.”

“I’m not here because I thought it would be easy,” you say firmly. “I’m here because I want to help.”

The maester gives you a small approving nod. “Very well. Welcome to the Stepstones, Lady Caswell.”

He gives hands you a basket filled with herbs and bandages. “You’ll be starting with the fevered men,” he says, “Boil these herbs for teas, and keep their wounds clean. Watch for signs of infection.”

You get to work without hesitation, the first man you attend looks barely conscious, his face wet with sweat. You dip a cloth into cool water, before placing it gently on his forehead.

“There now,” you whisper, “Rest easy. I’m here to help.”

You prepare the herbal tea as the maester instructed, bringing the it to his lips. He barely sips it, but you’re persistent, bringing him to drink more. His skin is hot to the touch, and you pray the fever will break soon.

As you continue tending to the soldiers, the hours pass by. There’s little time for anything else besides cleaning wounds, applying creams, and offering them tea.

Days pass like this—hard work from dawn until dusk. You grow more accustomed to the sight of blood. Your hands become more skilled.

One afternoon, after days of dealing with nothing but fever and infection, you’re called to tend to a knight who’s been brought in from the front lines. His armor is dented, and his face is pale beneath a layer of blood. His men carry him into the maester’s tent.

“Bring water!” the maestro yells at one of the younger healers before turning to you. “Caswell, I need you over here!”

You rush to his side and assess the knight’s condition. His leg is badly wounded, a deep cut through the muscle. Blood keeps coming through the wrapped bandage.

“I’ll need to clean this and stitch it closed,” you say. The sight of such a severe injury would have once made your stomach turn, but now, you see only the work that needs to be done.

The knight’s eyes flutter open as you begin to work, and he lets out a low groan of pain.

“You’re… the healer?” he rasps, his voice rough from pain and exhaustion.

“Yes,” you reply, your voice calm as you clean the wound. “Stay still, and I’ll cure this soon.”

He’s in pain but does his best to remain still. “Not what I expected,” he murmurs, a hint of amusement in his tone despite the situation.

“And what were you expecting?” you ask, keeping your focus on his leg.

“An ugly old maester with cold hands,” he says gritting his teeth. “Not… someone like you.”

“Sorry to disappoint.” you say in amusement.

He lets out a weak laugh before groaning in pain. “I’m not disappointed… just surprised.”

“You’re lucky to still be alive,” you say as you finish cleaning the wound. “The cut was deep. If you hadn’t been brought in when you were…”

The knight nods weakly. “Thank you… for saving my life.”

“I haven’t saved it yet,” you reply, threading your needle. “This will hurt, but it needs to be done.”

He grits his teeth and nods again, preparing himself for the pain. You work as quickly as you can, stitching the wound closed. Despite his discomfort, the knight bears, only grunting occasionally.

Once you finish, you sit back, wiping the sweat off your face. “There you go. It should heal well if you keep off it and give it time.”

The knight exhales, “Thank you… Lady—?”

“Caswell,” you say simply, not offering your full name. There’s no need for it here.

His brow lifts as if trying to place your family name, and you see the moment he realizes that your house is one of little significance. “Ah,” he says simply, “a Reach girl, then. Far from home.”

“I go where I’m needed,” you reply “as do most of us who serve.” You pause before you realize that you still don’t know his name. “And you are?”

“Ser Gwayne Hightower,” he says, giving you a small smile. “Of Oldtown.”

You pause at the name. You’ve heard of him before, of course—who hasn’t? The eldest son of Otto Hightower, the hand of the King.

You nod, standing up to gather your supplies. “Rest, Ser Gwayne. You’ll need your strength.”

As you turn to leave, he calls after you. “Lady Caswell?”

You pause, turning around. “Yes?”

“Will I… see you again?”

You can’t help but slightly smile at the question. “Only if you’re foolish enough to get yourself injured again.”

With that, you leave the tent, though his words linger in your mind.

The days pass on, and Ser Gwayne Hightower stays in the maester’s tent, recovering from his wounds. Despite the chaos and demands of the camp, you find yourself drawn to him more often than you’d expected. Every time you pass his bed to check on other patients, his eyes follow you. Sometimes, he even offers a tired smile.

You tell yourself it’s nothing. Just another soldier in need of care. But there’s something about him that keeps him in your mind.

One morning, as you tend to another patient, you hear his familiar voice call out from across the tent. "Lady Caswell!"

You sigh, trying to focus on the soldier’s arm, but Ser Gwayne does not give up.

“Lady Caswell,” he says again, this time louder, "I am dying of boredom over here. Come and put me out of my misery."

You finish your task, shaking your head, but you can’t help but smile. This has become routine, Ser Gwayne calling for you whenever you pass by, always with some comment or complaint. You try not to encourage him, but the man is relentless.

As you approach his bed, you find him sitting up on the bed, looking far better than he did when he first arrived. The color has returned to his face, and his leg, still bandaged, seems to be healing well.

“Shouldn’t you be resting?” you ask, crossing your arms as you look down at him.

He shrugs. “Resting is boring. I’ve been staring at the ceiling for days now. I think I’m going mad.”

“And what would you have me do about it?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Talk to me,” he replies, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re the only one in this place with anything interesting to say.”

You roll your eyes, but the truth is, you like speaking with him. “And what exactly do you think is so interesting about me?”

He leans back against his pillow, a playful smile tugging at the corners of his lips. ��For one, you’re the only woman I’ve met who’d rather patch up wounds than sit in some lord’s castle or pray to the gods.”

You tilt your head slightly, furrowing your eyebrows. “Is that your way of saying I’m strange?”

His smile widens. “Strange? No. Unusual, perhaps. A good kind of unusual.”

You suppress a laugh. Despite his status, he doesn’t seem to carry the same arrogance as some of the other knights you’ve tended. Still, you remind yourself why you’re here. You’re a healer, not some maiden looking for a knight’s attention.

“Well,” you say, “I’m here to heal wounds, not provide entertainment. If you’re well enough to chat, perhaps you should be focusing on getting better so you can leave the tent.”

“Leave?” Gwayne looks offended. “And abandon the finest healer in all the Seven Kingdoms? Never.”

You smirk. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Ser Gwayne.”

He chuckles but falls silent as you reach for the bandages around his leg. Carefully, you peel the cloth to examine the stitches. The wound looks clean—no signs of infection, and the stitches are holding well.

“You’ve been keeping your leg high, I hope?” you ask, meeting his gaze.

Gwayne nods, “Mostly.”

“Mostly?” you repeat, raising an eyebrow.

He shrugs, “A man can’t lie around forever. I’ve been getting up—only for a short walk around the tent, of course.”

You sigh, “You’ll undo all my hard work if you push yourself too soon.”

“Aye, but how else am I to win your favor?” he teases.

You shake your head, standing up. “You’d better focus on getting well before you concern yourself with winning anything.”

As you turn to leave, he calls after you again, this time more serious. “My lady.”

You pause but don’t turn around. “Yes?”

His voice is softer this time. “Thank you. Truly.”

You nod once before continuing on your way, trying to push the thought of him from your mind. You don’t have time for distractions, not with so many lives depending on you.

Over the next few days, Ser Gwayne’s persistence doesn’t fade. Every time you pass his bed, he finds some excuse to speak with you, to ask you how your day is. You try to remain professional, to keep your distance, but it becomes harder and harder to ignore the way his presence makes your heart skip a beat, even if only for a moment.

One evening, you find yourself alone for the first time in what feels like weeks. You’re sitting outside the maester’s tent, the cool breeze making you feel relieved at least for a moment. For a second, you allow yourself to close your eyes and breathe.

But, as if summoned by your thoughts, Gwayne appears, limping slightly as he approaches. “Lady Caswell,” he greets you.

You open your eyes and look up at him, surprised to see him outside of the tent. “You shouldn’t be walking,” you say.

He lowers himself onto the ground beside you, groaning as he does. “I needed some air,” he says quietly. “And I think you could use some company.”

You sit beside Ser Gwayne in the quiet of the night.

“You know,” Gwayne begins, his voice soft, “this is the longest conversation I’ve had in a while that didn’t revolve around injuries or strategy.”

You chuckle lightly. “I can imagine. It’s not easy finding moments of peace in a place like this.”

Gwayne nods. “I’ve been thinking about what you said before. About how you came here to make a difference.”

“Yeah?” you reply, looking at him.

Gwayne meets your eyes, “You’re doing more than most of us, you know. You’re saving lives, giving hope.”

You blush slightly, “It’s not always easy. Sometimes I wonder if I’m making any real difference.”

“You are,” he insists, reaching out to gently touch your hand. “I see it. I’ve seen the way you care for everyone, how you give everything you have.”

You feel a shiver at his touch, the warmth of his hand against yours.

Gwayne leans closer, his eyes searching yours. “I know this isn’t the place for… this,” he says softly, “but I needed to tell you how much I admire what you’re doing. And how much I appreciate you.”

Before you can say more, he gently closes the distance between you, pressing his lips to yours. You respond, feeling the passion and longing in the moment.

But as the kiss deepens, a wave of realization hits you. This isn’t the time, and it’s certainly not the place for such feelings to complicate matters. You pull back gently, your breath quick.

“I’m sorry,” you say softly, standing up. “We shouldn’t… We’re both here for important reasons, and this—” you gesture between you, “—isn’t right.”

Gwayne looks at you with understanding, his expression a mix of regret and affection. “I understand,” he says quietly. “It was a mistake.”

“No,” you correct him, “not a mistake. Just not the right time. We both have too much to focus on right now.”

He nods, his eyes filled with warmth and a touch of sadness. “Goodnight, Lady Caswell.”

“Goodnight, Ser Gwayne,” you reply, offering him a soft smile before turning away.

As you walk back to your tent, your mind is a whirl of emotions. The kiss was a moment of connection, but the reality of your situation settles in. You need to stay focused on your duties and not let personal feelings distract you from the important work ahead.

The next morning you found Lysa outside the tent, sitting on a barrel.

“You know,” she said as you sat down besides her, “I’ve seen the way that knight looks at you.”

You sigh, not in the mood for this conversation. “He’s recovering, Lysa. His mind is clouded with fever and pain. He probably doesn’t even know what he’s saying.”

Lysa chuckled, shaking her head. “No, his fever broke days ago. Trust me, that man knows exactly what he’s saying.”

You glance at her. “It’s nothing.”

“Is it?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “I see the way you talk to him. You like him.”

You roll your eyes, “Lysa, I didn’t come here for this.”

“Maybe not,” she said, leaning back, her gaze shifting to the distant horizon, “but sometimes life gives you things you didn’t expect.”

You and Lysa were still talking near the tent when the distant thud of footsteps reached your ears. The sound wasn’t normal. It was too loud, too fast. Then, the shouting started.

“Attack!” someone yelled from the other side of the camp.

Soldiers were rushing to grab their weapons as a group of enemy soldiers burst through the camp, moving with terrifying speed.

You turned to Lysa. “We need to get the wounded out of here, now!”

Together, you rushed into the tent where the injured men lay, Ser Gwayne among them. He was awake but clearly in no condition to fight.

“What’s happening?” Ser Gwayne asked, struggling to sit up.

“The camp is under attack,” you replied quickly, moving to help another soldier out of his bed. “We need to move everyone before the raiders get here.”

Ser Gwayne tried to get up, but his leg gave out, and he collapsed back onto the bed. You hurried over to him, “You’re coming with us. No fighting.”

He frowned but didn’t argue.

More healthy soldiers rushed into the tent, and together, you began lifting the wounded onto a cart that had been brought to the entrance. You worked quickly, heart pounding, as the sounds of the attack grew closer.

One of the soldiers, helped you carry Ser Gwayne onto the back of the cart. “Let’s get them out of here!” he shouted.

The man climbed onto the driver’s seat, grabbing the reins of the horses. You and Lysa jumped up on the cart sitting with the wounded.

The horses raced forward, pulling the cart through the camp. You could see the flames now, the camp had been set on fire.

The wounded moaned and shifted with every bump, but there was no time to stop.

“We’re almost there,” the man muttered, his eyes scanning the horizon. You could see the cliffs that bordered the camp, and just beneath them, the mouth of the cave you had mentioned earlier.

The cave was deep enough to hide in, and for now, it was your only chance of getting everyone to safety.

As you neared the entrance, one of the soldiers riding beside the cart let out a sharp scream. You turned to see him clutching his side, an arrow protruding from between his ribs. He fell off his horse, but you couldn’t stop.

“No!” Lysa screamed in disbelief.

“We need to hurry!” you yelled, gripping the edge of the cart.

With a final burst of speed, the cart entered the cave’s mouth.

“We made it,” Lysa breathed, her voice trembling with relief.

You jumped down from the cart to help unload the wounded. The soldiers who had made it into the cave with you began pulling the injured men off the cart, laying them down on the cool stone floor. Ser Gwayne was the last one off, his face pale.

“Thank you,” he said quietly as you helped him to his feet.

“You can thank me when we’re safe,” you replied. Outside, you could hear the distant sounds of fighting in the camp, but for now, the cave was safe.

“We need to stay quiet,” Lysa whispered, moving to stand beside you. “If they find us here…”

“They won’t,” you said. You turned to Ser Gwayne, who was leaning against the cave wall. “How’s your leg?”

“I’ll manage,” he replied through gritted teeth. “But what now?”

You looked around the cave, your mind racing.

“We wait,” you said after a moment. “Just long enough for the fighting to stop. Then we move again.” See Gwayne nodded, although you could tell he wasn’t convinced.

The wounded soldiers groaned softly as they tried to make themselves comfortable on the rocky floor. Lysa sat beside one of them, her face tight with worry as she tended to their wounds.

The night dragged on, and the once distant sounds of battle now sounded closer every moment. You and Ser Gwayne sat at the back of the cave, listening to the clashing steel and the cries of men in the distance.

You stared up through the small opening at the top of the cave’s ceiling, where you could perfectly see the moon high in the sky. You glanced at Gwayne, who was leaning against the wall, his face pale and tense as he listened to the battle. His leg was stretched out in front of him, still causing him pain despite the bandages. Every now and then, you saw his hand twitch toward his sword, as though he were ready to fight again despite his injuries.

"They're not going to stop," you said softly, breaking the silence.

Gwayne looked at you, "No, they won't."

The battle was drawing closer. You had been hiding for hours, and the hope that the fighting would stop had vanished. Even if you went back, the camp would likely be destroyed, the supplies either burned or taken. There would be no help, no rescue.

"We might not make it through the night," you whispered.

Gwayne's gaze softened. He reached out and took your hand, squeezing it gently. "We might not," he agreed, his voice quiet.

“You ever think about how strange it all is?” Gwayne whispered after a moment. “One minute you’re fighting for your life, the next you’re here… staring at the moon.”

You smiled. “It is strange. But I suppose that’s life. Never quite what you expect.”

He laughed softly at that. “You’re far too calm about all of this. Most people would be panicking out of their minds.”

“Trust me, I’m frightened,” you admitted, meeting his gaze. “I just hide it well.”

He reached out, his hand brushing against yours, the touch sent a shiver down your spine, and you found yourself shifting closer to him.

“You’re something else,” he said softly, his voice low. There was an edge to his tone, something raw and unguarded.

You felt your pulse quicken. “Is that a compliment, Ser Gwayne?”

“It might be,” he replied, a teasing glint

You looked down at your joined hands. "I never thought it would end like this," you murmured, "In a cave, with nothing left but a few wounded men and no chance to save them."

Gwayne’s grip tightened. "It's not the end yet," he said, "But if it is…"

You took a deep breath, "If this is it… if this is the last night…" You said with a shaky voice, but you forced yourself to meet his eyes. "I don't want to spend it in fear."

Gwayne looked at you, he gave you a small chuckle. "You know… I've thought about that too. If we're going to die, why waste the time we have left in misery?"

You look at him, your gaze fixated on his lips "Then let's not."

Gwayne's eyes searched yours, and then, without another word, he pulled you toward him.

His lips met yours in a kiss that was both desperate and tender, filled with a need that went beyond mere desire.

He pulled you closer with his good hand. The kiss deepened, growing more desperate. You pressed yourself against him, your heart racing as his lips moved down pressing soft kisses against your neck.

He looked back up to you, “My leg’s no good for much, but I’m not about to let that stop us,” he whispered.

You smiled, “Then let me take over.”

Gently, you guided him down to the ground on his back, careful of his injured leg. He watched you with desperate eyes as you sat on top him, adjusting yourself carefully so as not to cause him pain. His hands instinctively slid to your hips, his touch firm but gentle.

Your hands rested on his chest, you could feel his heartbeat racing, matching the wild rhythm of your own. You leaned in close, pressing your lips to his with a tenderness that contrasted with the fierce urgency you both felt.

You broke the kiss for just a moment, sitting up to pull your shirt over your head. His eyes roamed over you with raw hunger, his hands sliding up to cup your breasts, thumbs brushing across your sensitive nipples.

“Beautiful,” he whispered, leaning up to press his lips against your collarbone, kissing his way down.

You gasped softly as his lips found a tender spot on your neck. Your hands moved to undo the ties at your waist, slipping out of your pants, leaving you completely bare before him.

With his help, you shifted slightly to tug his trousers down. He was already hard, his length pressing eagerly against your thigh as you settled back atop him. The tension between you both was almost unbearable as you pulled yourself up, the tip of him brushing against your wet entrance.

He groaned softly as you lowered your body and began to roll your hips against him. His hands gripped your waist tighter, helping to guide you as you moved.

“Does it hurt?” you whispered breathlessly.

He shook his head as he looked up at you. “No… it feels good. Don’t stop.”

“You’re perfect,” he breathed, his voice filled

with pleasure. He tilted his head up, capturing your lips in a kiss. Your bodies moved in sync, the sound of your panting breaths and the sounds of your bodies clashing filled the cave.

Your hands tangled in his hair, tugging gently as you kissed him harder, your hips rolling harder. You could feel yourself nearing your climax.

“Gwayne…” you gasped his name, breaking the kiss.

He groaned again, his eyes locked on yours as he thrust up into you with what strength he had,“I’m right here,” he whispered, his voice low.

That was all it took for you to come. Your body trembled as you reached your peak, your head falling back. You felt Gwayne follow moments later, his grip on you tightening as he came too, his body trembling beneath yours as he filled you.

For a long moment, neither of you moved, your breaths in uneven gasps. You collapsed against his chest, your bodies still connected.

His hands moved lazily up and down your back, a gentle, reassuring touch. You lifted your head, pressing a soft kiss to his jawline.

“That… was worth it,” Gwayne murmured, his lips quirking into a tired but satisfied smile.

You chuckled softly, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “I think so too.”

“I think I can die at peace now.” Gwayne sighed gazing at the moon.

“I think so too.” you nodded smiling at him.

Pt.2???

[queenie-ofthe-void]

A follow-up to my Hanahaki Platonic Stobin drabble

Platonic Stobin, Steddie, past Stancy || rating: T || wc: 2.7k || tags: dialogue heavy, VERY excessive use of italics, fluff and flirting and humor, no beta

~~~

His sides are ripped to shreds, insides only kept inside because of the torn, dirty scrap of sweater Nancy wrapped around him. Steve’s been downplaying it as much as possible, mostly to keep Munson calm, but Robin knows better.

What’s wrong with your back?

Steve sighs, trying to mute his thoughts into a scramble like they’ve practiced so well over the past nine months, but the scorching pain on his shoulder blades, feet, and arms makes it rather difficult.

Don’t you dare ignore me Steve Harrington.

She glares back at him from her spot next to Nancy. They’ve been walking for miles, every rock and crack in the ground digging into his feet with every step. Munson’s next him, going on about something like bats, or metal music. Steve’s not sure, he’s having a hell of a time focusing.

But the guy crowds into Steve’s space, dipping in and out of orbit like he can’t help being as close as possible. Eddie keeps looking at him. Steve’s never been great with eye contact, but can’t help it when Eddie starts saying things like “the kid worships you, dude” and “insists on the matter, in fact.”

Told you the kid loves you even though he has another older adult male friend.

Steve can practically hear her giggling, but she’s just balancing her out-loud conversation with their mind-reading conversation. She’s better at it than he is, talking to two people at once. Hell, sometimes Steve has a hard enough time keeping track of just one conversation.

Their new super powers had been a learning curve, to say the least. It’d taken them months to learn how to tune each other out when needed, which was more often than not. Working Family Video shed a new light on how absolutely down-bad horny Steve was for almost every mildly attractive woman who walked through the front door. Including Joyce Byers, to Robin’s horror.

Steve was cursed with Robin’s almost near-constant thoughts about her newest crush, Vickie. He’s never met her before, doesn’t remember her from school, but could describe what she looks like down to the small, rust colored freckle on the corner of her left eye, just below the lash line. 

But even with the extensive learning curve, they discovered some severe consequences of their powers almost immediately. 

The first day Robin came over, bloodied and crying, with him no better off, Steve was so shaky he’d dropped a mug, slicing his hand as he scooped up the pieces. She rushed over, said she heard his pain more than felt it, like loud static. 

So, no sharing physical sensations, just mind-reading. Which is great for me, considering how slutty you are. She’d laughed when he lightly knocked her on the shoulder, but she’d thought it with such fondness that he couldn’t be mad if he tried.

The worst of their situation came to light when Robin’s parents called her home, said a weekend away after Star Court was more than enough. So she’d left him alone in that big, empty house, suffering from a severe concussion and dizzy spells.

Which only grew worse the longer they were apart.

Steve didn’t have anywhere to go, now jobless with the mall gone, and none of the kids came to visit. So he’d holed himself up in his room. The headaches grew worse, handfuls of pills doing nothing to help.

By the fifth day, he was vomiting again, shaking and crying, head throbbing, nose bleeding into the toilet bowl all over again when there was a knock on the door. The knock might as well have been inside his skull, but he couldn’t move, could barely see past the haze clouding his periphery like it had after his fight with Billy. He cried as the knocking grew louder, more persistent, until it finally stopped.

He slumped forward, pressed his head into the cool porcelain. Lifting his hand to flush, he noticed a small, vibrant white petal floating amidst the red and black water, all of which, presumably, came out of him.

–can’t find it. Must be… rock. The mat?

Robin?

There was a click, then the sound of his front door opening. Slow, heavy footsteps up the stairs.

Dingus where the hell are you? Not in the bedroom… Please, Steve, I need help.

That got his attention, but as he’d gone to move, the bathroom door opened to a bloodstained Robin, eyes rimmed red, hair a mess, pale and gaunt like a ghost. She dropped to the ground next to him, practically draped herself over his back. And just like before, the pain receded so violently he vomited one last time. A full, yet slightly crumpled, flower floated amidst the yuck inside the toilet. 

It was a daisy.

“Daisies are my favorite,” Robin whispered. She held out her hand to him, dirty and covered in the same green stains as the ones on her shirt, and handed him a very small, miniature sunflower. “So I’m guessing–”

My favorite.

Eventually they’d figured out what works and what doesn’t. Talking on the phone everyday never helped, back to throwing up flowers after only a week. He’d started to pull the daisies out to dry, which Robin said was gross. She took them home with her anyways. 

But he’d borrowed Robin a sweatshirt that she took home with her, and by the fourth day, she was in better shape than he was, only a slight headache instead of Steve’s encroaching migraine. So they started exchanging clothes and quickly learned it wasn’t necessarily their clothes or possessions, but their scents. 

You smell kind of like sunflowers

“Robin, sunflowers don’t have a smell.”

She was face first in his pillow, day seventeen after a two-week family vacation to Key West, returning his comforter, and a myriad of t-shirts. They’d both gotten migraines, but no vomit-soaked flowers or bloody noses. So it was an improvement, overall.

I know they don’t. It’s more like, I don’t know, sunshine. Or fresh grass. A warm rain… like summer.

He’d jumped on her then, smothered her into his mattress until she was tickling him to get off her.

“What do I smell like?” she’d asked, casual but not quite casual enough. He smiled.

Like daisies. An open field full of wildflowers. A new song, or driving with the windows down. 

She smiled back at him, wide and genuine, packed full of love. And he knew, in that moment, he was happy to spend the rest of his life with her.

“Harrington,” Eddie cuts through his reminiscing. The guy looks like he’s trying not to be annoyed, which makes sense considering he’s attempting to be nice and Steve’s completely zoned out. 

Do you have another concussion? Is it rabies?

He sighs, quiet enough that hopefully Eddie doesn’t assume it’s aimed at him. No, Robs. Just a normal dingus-where-did-you-go zone out. Relax.

She shoots him another glare over her shoulder, but ultimately lets it go.

“Harrington, you still with us?” Eddie laughs it off like a joke, but his eyes are wide, and he’s pressing in close again.

He’s warm, and without thinking, Steve finds himself leaning towards him, too– like magnets.

What magnets?

Never mind, Robs, shut up.

“Yeah Munson, I’m still here.” Steve chuckles, and Eddie relaxes a tad. “Can’t get rid of me that easy. I’ve dealt with worse.”

“Worse than an under-water tentacle monster dragging you through hell on your bare-back and almost choking you to death?”

When Eddie puts it like that, Steve really does have to think about it. “What about throwing fireworks at a giant, mind-controlling flesh monster and getting tortured under Star Court by Russian spies who shot me and Robin up with mystery drugs?”

DINGUS! If we haven’t told the Party about our super powers you can’t tell a goddamn stranger like Munson!

Eddie’s eyes are wide and dark again. He chuckles a little too loud, almost deranged. “Yeah, you know what, Harrington, that might be worse.”

They continue to walk in silence. Well, Steve’s silent. He lets Eddie ramble, talking about Dustin, something called a Munson doctrine. He calls Steve a ‘good dude’ at which Steve hopes the sky is dark enough to hide his embarrassed flush.

Eddie says something about the girls jumping in to save him, but he leans in again when he says it, and all Steve can think about is how close he is, the light brush of Eddie’s knuckles against the back of his hand–

What…?

– and the comfort that settles over Steve when he catches Eddie smiling at him. They stop in unison, Eddie leans in close to whisper like it’s a secret.

“But Wheeler, right there, she didn’t waste a second. Not one second. She just dove right in.”

Eddie’s barely shorter than him, just enough that he looks up at Steve through his dark lashes, big, brown, puppy-dog eyes hooked onto his own. He knows guys can be handsome, but he thinks Eddie might be more pretty than handsome.

I’m sorry? What the fuck is happening back there!

“Now, I don’t know what happened between you two,” Eddie says, low and slow. His voice full of honey that soaks into Steve’s brain, the actual words lost in the overwhelming sweetness of everything that is Eddie. “But if I were you, I would get her back. ‘Cause that was as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen.”

Steve can’t stop staring at his lips. They’re so pink and fluffy and biteable, so he leans in, like instinct tells him. Eddie looks surprised, but brushes his finger tips against Steve’s own. He whispers, “Steve…?” like it’s more revelation than question. Eddie’s so close that Steve just–

“Are you fucking kidding me, Steven?” Robin shouts, incredulous and much too loud. Eddie flinches away from him, hides behind his hair like a turtle shrinking back into its shell. Steve’s shoulders droop in disappointment.

Disappointment? Wait. Did I almost just kiss–

“Eddie Munson?” Robin finishes his not-out-loud sentence.

“Buckley?” Eddie asks, nervous as the girl marches towards them, her eyes locked on Steve.

“Yes, Dingus!” Robin completely ignores Eddie’s response in favor of barreling up to Steve, finger so close to his face he goes cross-eyed. “Yes, you were, and oh my god I can’t believe you!”

Robs, I’m kind of freaking out right now. Can you please relax?

“You’re freaking out?” she shouts. Nancy shushes her, but it goes unnoticed. “I’m freaking out! After all this time, after Tammy fucking Thompson, this is happening right now? With– with– ” Robin wildly gestures to Munson. “Goddamn, Steve, you reek of sunflowers right now, oh my god! Just like when Joyce came into the store.”

It’s as dark as it always is, but a flash of red lighting illuminates the red painted across Eddie’s cheeks as he bites on his lip, looking nervous yet almost bashful as he pulls another larger strand of hair across his face.

“Sunflowers? What’s happening right now,” he whispers to Nancy, who shrugs. She answers with a casual, “I’m not sure, they do this a lot.”

“That’s not fair!” Steve quietly shouts back at her. “What’s wrong with–” he glances at Eddie, who flushes again. He’s so pale I bet he’s red down to his…

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Robin throws her hands over her ears and pinches her eyes closed.

Steve forces a smile to cover his gay panic. Shit, am I gay?

“No!” Robin slaps both her hands on either side of his head, mushing his cheeks together. “You’re not g–” she mushes her mouth shut, catching her slip-up just before it tumbled out of her. “And that’s not what that kind of panic means, so don’t call it that.”

“Panic?” Eddie asks, stepping towards them. His eyes are trained on Steve, flashing down to his lips, then back up to catch his gaze. Steve sees something like hope buried beneath Eddie’s tough guy demeanor. “But I thought–” he glances at Nancy before quickly looking away.

Robin rolls her eyes at him, and Eddie backs off a bit. Except his look doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Me?” Nancy asks. “What about me?”

Robin, don’t–

But it’s too late, because at that question, everyone turns to look at Steve.

Over the past few months, Steve’s started growing out his hair. It’s not really in style, but he’s seen a few guys with long hair, and they looked really good. Right now, he wishes it was long enough so he could hide behind it like Eddie. But, then again, he’d also tried growing a mustache, since Freddy Mercury had amazing style– Steve’s always like Queen.

Except my mustache never looked as good as his, so I bet long hair wouldn’t either. Maybe the short hair helps highlight it, like his cheekbones.

Jesus Christ, you’re so obvious. I can crack Russian spy code phrases enough to break into an underground military base but apparently I can’t spot a bisexual within five feet of me.

Steve sighs, dragging his hands down his face at Robin’s inside-mind rambling. Nancy, however, takes it to mean something much different. “Oh, Steve, no.” Her voice is pitying and too nice and it reminds him painfully of the last few months of their relationship. Like she’s talking to a child. “Steve, I’m so sorry, but– I still love Jonathan.”

“I know, Nance, that’s not–”

“Are you kidding me, Wheeler?” Eddie screeches. Steve really doesn’t understand how they’re so lucky that they haven’t been hunted down and eaten by now. 

Eddie’s thrown his hands up in the air, all theatrics as he gawks at her. She backs off, surprised, but quickly recovers and squints her eyes at him, crossing her arms as he continues to ramble. 

“After everything that’s happened? Steve ripping off his sweater, jumping out of the boat and beating a bat to death, then biting its head off, all while soaking wet. I mean, the way he spit that blood out.” Nancy cringes, and yeah, Steve feels the same way, knows he'll be tasting that black sludge in his nightmares. 

Now that’s gay panic.

I thought that’s not what that means, Rob

Ugh, I regret teaching you things.

Eddie’s still on a roll. “He was so… I mean,” Eddie throws his arms out towards Steve, showing him off like he’s a prized cow, “look at him, Wheeler! And you’re picking Byers?”

To Steve’s surprise, the glowering ferocity in Nancy’s face morphs into a coy smile, eyebrows raised in question to an answer she’s already figured out. Because that’s how Nancy Wheeler, journalist extraordinaire, gets her story. She reads people.

Before Eddie well and truly freaks out at the turn in Nancy’s demeanor, she winks at Steve out of the corner of her eye. “Joyce Byers?” She giggles and rolls her eyes. 

Then, in a mortifying turn of events, Nancy pulls a strand of her brown, curly hair in front of her face, forces her eyes open, doe-eyed and almost brown under the dark sky, looking up at him through her lashes, then darts her gaze to Eddie. 

Ha! You have a type! Wait, how did Nancy clock you faster than–

“Okay!” It bursts from Steve’s chest, loud enough it shocks the rest of them. They stand quiet, listening to the mundane noises around them, and breathe a sigh of relief at the resounding silence. “This has been fun, really, but why don’t we all just keep going so we can get the hell out of here and go find my– I mean our– no, the little shits.”

This is why they call you mom.

“I’m not a goddamn mom, Robin, how many damn times do I have to tell you guys that?”

“If you’re mommy, does that mean I’m daddy?” The words slip through Eddie’s mouth and, unfortunately, bury themselves into Steve’s brain. Now Steve’s not sure who’s blush is hotter, his or Eddie’s. He’d guess maybe Eddie’s, judging by the way the man grabs Nancy’s arm and hauls her away at a half sprint. 

She laughs at him, lighthearted, and slings her arm through his as they walk side by side. Steve watches as she leans her head towards Eddie’s whispering something into his ear that finally has the man’s shoulder’s relaxing. He bumps his shoulder against hers, and she returns the gesture.

Robin turns to look at Steve, really look, with sad, concerned eyes and a twist to her mouth.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have freaked out like that. It just caught me off guard I guess.

Steve places a light kiss on her dirty forehead. She smiles, grabs his hand in hers, and squeezes once.

“I love you too, Rob.”

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Gala, But It's Not Wayne, It's Masters

This just lives rent-free in my brain, so I'm here to share. And maybe get help.

Batfam probably don't only go to galas and events in Gotham, right. Bryce Wayne is a rich bitch and WE has contracts and ties around the world, so Wayne Wards have to attend events out of state (and out of country) from time to time. This time, they are invited by Vladimir Masters, the owner of DalvCo.

Coincidentally, Vladimir Masters is rumored to have some hidden Kryptonite stash. So Bruce decides to go, taking some of his kids with him, because it is also rumored that Masters has two wards of his own, and, first, Bruce has to bring his kids for disguise, second, he needs them for some team building, bonding and whatnot, and last, he really needs to check if Masters' children are living in a safe environment. Cue all his family making fun of him for wanting to adopt more kids.

What makes the jokes even worse is that both Master's kids have black hair and blue eyes.

When they arrive, they are greeted with a sight of a full-sized gothic castle. It looks really out of place in Illinois, but the vampire vibes are there, definitely. And said vibes only become stronger when they meet Vladimir and his kids - all three of them are giving the Batfam goosebumps, and not in a good way. Now, the things capable of giving Bats goosebumps are very, very limited. And never good.

Vladimir - he insists they call him Vlad - is a fairly tall, gray-haired man with piercing eyes. His smile is nice and polite, but it kind of reminds Tim of Ra's, which is, well, not a good thing. But overall, he is... Okay. They can definitely take him down if they need to (they really can't, but they don't know it).

The kids, though. They are twins, probably fifteen or sixteen, a boy and a girl, and they look like they came straight from a horror movie. Calm and even, mirroring each other's gestures and finishing each other's sentences, no facial expressions, and they don't seem to be blinking. Cass has a hard time getting anything from the way they hold themselves - they seem to only show any kind of emotion when they are addressed. Damian can't shake off a feeling of being watched, even though the twins barely look at him. Tim, raised in a family of socialites, notices how both of them have really nice manners, the kind you learn when someone teaches you etiquette specifically.

Bruce is unnerved by the sight. Are the kids mind controlled? Are they okay? This is definitely not how kids should act at fifteen at a gala, holy shit. Granted, he's seen not that many kids at galas, but the point still stands.

Now, at this point, I have a few ways this can go. First one, the suffering orphans way, Danny and Dani are actually controlled by Vlad, who wanted perfect heirs. Second, the little shits way, Danny made a deal with Vlad to attend a gala and Dani joined him, so now they are having fun with acting as eerie as possible since Vlad strictly forbidden them from shenanigans. This can be either redeemed Vlad or not. Third, the demonic twins' way, where Vlad is definitely redeemed and is taking care of the Fenton kids, raising them however he sees fit. Jazz is also under his care, but she is mostly an adult now, and they have more of a 'caretaker on paper and legally not old enough to live on her own' relationship than a 'parent and daughter' one.

Do the Waynes befriend them? Do Bats get caught while investigating? Do Danny and Dani cause trouble at the gala? Maybe they get to prove to Bruce that they are, indeed, perfectly happy about living with Vlad?

Inspired by this art

[luffington]

hiii im the anon from way back when now that ur at whole cake i wanted to spin the block on my sabo request from earlier (of course only if you want to no pressure!)

✧.* art credit!

➤ prompt: can i request a sabo x f!reader who’s a strawhat who joins the revolutionary army alongside robin during the timeskip and immediately hits it off and becomes close friends with him while on baltigo and then reunites with him in dressrosa [fwb trope perhaps?? 👀👀]

➤ pairing: sabo x afab!reader

➤ word count: 2.5k

➤ warnings: dom!sabo, semi-public sex, praise kink, thigh riding, facial, friends with benefits, fluff, fem reader

in episode of sabo he officially entered the colosseum competition but it’s never explained in canon so let’s pretend he somehow snuck in before the final battle hehe

i really hope you like this after waiting for so long!! :') i've only seen him in dressrosa so i'm sorry if this isn't accurate to his character in future arcs! (also if you can't tell i Love koala <3)

NSFW under the break! minors dni thank uuu

Soldiers with guns ready to fire surrounded you the moment you landed on Baltigo. In a panic, you insisted that you weren’t an intruder. You didn’t even know where you were intruding. One moment you were on Sabaody Archipelago and then Bartholomew Kuma touched you and suddenly you were soaring through the air in a giant bubble — and that made them pause. Kuma would never send an enemy to their headquarters. The paw-shaped crater left behind was undeniable proof of your story, and your bounty poster confirmed that you were a Straw Hat Pirate instead of a spy. With no plausible way to get back to your crew, you decided to temporarily join the Revolutionary Army. 

About a week later, Sabo returned from a successful assignment and was enthusiastically welcomed back by everyone at the base. He seemed nice enough, but as the chief of staff, he obviously had more pressing issues to attend to than getting to know a new recruit. He would give you a friendly wave whenever he saw you, but nothing more.

Then the news of Ace’s death came and all of his memories flooded back. He was absolutely heartbroken, but you didn’t want to intrude on such a personal moment for a man you hardly knew, so you decided to leave him alone. Instead, you begged to borrow a ship to find your captain, who must’ve also been suffering terribly. 

As soon as Sabo heard you mention Luffy, he remembered that you were a Straw Hat – and you’d been with them long enough to have met Ace in Alabasta. He quickly latched onto you and you were more than happy to tell him stories about his brothers, as well as your brief encounter with Garp. Robin arrived at Baltigo a few days after Luffy’s appearance in the newspaper and gladly joined your conversations, but slyly gave the two of you lots of alone time.

You liked Sabo more and more each time you talked to him. It didn’t take long to notice his similarities to his family – they all had the same reckless confidence, happy-go-lucky attitudes, and admirable dedication to whatever cause they put their mind to. Even Dragon shared these qualities under his stony exterior (and you realized in horror that you now knew that entire insane family). 

But the blonde was flirty. And touchy. The friendly hugs he gave you grew longer and more intimate; his hands lingered on your shoulders and brushed against your thighs. You were delighted to reciprocate – though you had no romantic feelings for him, he was undeniably gorgeous. Sexual tension between you grew until it exploded with the help of several bottles of cheap sake and a shared hotel room. He pinned you down and fucked you dumb until you were covered in cum and screaming his name. Poor Koala in the neighboring room was traumatized, especially by the sound of your bedframe collapsing.

Sabo became your best friend and your best stress reliever, effortlessly transitioning from casual conversations to shoving his dick down your throat. Being in the Revolutionary Army was incredibly dangerous, of course, but Sabo always made sure you were well-protected and cared for. However, you still had no doubts about returning to the Straw Hats after two years had passed. You were sad to leave your friend, but he promised you’d see each other again. 

You didn’t realize it would be so soon.

Only two weeks after you departed for Sabaody, you found yourself wandering the colorful cobblestone streets of Dressrosa in an admittedly terrible disguise. Separated from your crew and searching for the SMILE Factory despite having no leads. Everything about the country, its citizens, and Law’s supposedly flawless plan felt strange. 

But what caught you off-guard the most was a hooded figure passing by and grabbing your arm, leaning close to your ear, and using a very familiar voice to whisper, “Hey.”

A hint of soft blonde hair peeking out from under the fabric nearly gave you a heart attack. “Sabo?!”

He quickly clamped a gloved hand over your mouth, shutting you up immediately. He brought his face close to yours, whispering in a teasing tone, “Are you trying to blow my cover? Naughty girl.” Your cheeks burned bright red.

Sabo glanced around cautiously, but no one in the streets spared a fleeting glance at the two of you. The majority of Dressrosans were further down the block in a large open plaza, watching the Colosseum match broadcast in real time. The opening ceremony had just finished and the first round was beginning. He didn’t give a shit – he only needed to pay attention to Hack in round two. 

“C’mon, let’s talk somewhere else.” The blonde grabbed your hand and led you down a back alley hidden behind a row of shops. Once you were sufficiently shielded by a stack of wooden storage crates, he pulled down the hood of his brown cloak.

“What the hell are y–” Soft lips slammed against your own as he caged you against the wall, pulling you into a heated kiss and biting your bottom lip. Sabo was as unpretentious as ever, not wasting any time to take what he wanted. Fingers trailing up your thigh in a very obvious way before he grabbed the meat of your ass. 

“Figured it was better than a hug,” he laughed. A beautiful sound that you missed hearing every day. He kissed along your cheek then nipped at your earlobe, causing you to flinch. “You know I’m here to stop Doflamingo’s weapons trade. I don’t have a lot of time, but I needed to see you and make sure you’re doing okay.” 

Sabo paused to run his hand down your chest until it reached your clothed core, palming you through your pants. You whimpered and instinctively bucked into his touch.

“And have a quickie. It’s been too long since I felt this pretty cunt. Don’t know when I’ll get a chance again,” he growled against your neck, using two fingers to stroke the outline of your pussy lips and push the rough fabric tighter against you.

“B-but we’re in the middle of the street…” You glanced at the sunny entrance to the alleyway, heart racing at the thought of someone seeing you. 

“I wouldn’t say the middle,” the blonde chuckled, gesturing to the desolate space around you. “Besides, with everything happening today, I don’t think public indecency is anyone’s biggest concern.”

You bit your lip anxiously, but the feeling of his warm body pressed against yours and his lips moving down your neck overrode all rational thoughts. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t fantasize about him pounding into your cunt every night since you left the Army. Plus, his cloak was large enough to completely shield your bodies from any prying eyes. To any passerby, you would look like a couple engaging in a little too much PDA – not a rare sight in the kingdom of love.

“W-why–” Your breath hitched as he shoved his hands under your top to roughly squeeze your breasts. “Why did Dragon decide to do this operation now? The meeting we had was–” You tried your best to stifle a lewd moan, the soft leather of his gloves not hiding the roughness of his fingers tugging at your nipples. “W-was weeks ago…”

“Can we please not talk about Dragon while I’m trying to fuck you?” Sabo pouted cutely, making you giggle. “We’ll have a real conversation later, I promise. I need my little stress relief toy right now.” He shoved one of his knees between yours, tensed thigh pressing insistently on your cunt. “Grind that cute pussy on my leg. Show me how much she missed me.” His eyes darkened when you immediately complied, letting out cute whimpers at the delicious friction. “Fuck, that’s so hot.”

Loud cheering echoed down the street, likely related to the tournament, and you instinctively turned towards the sound. Sabo gripped your chin and forced you to face him again. 

“Hey. Eyes on me.” You nodded obediently, and he whispered “good girl” before shoving his tongue down your throat. You tangled your fingers in his soft blonde locks, running your thumb over his scarred cheek affectionately. He truly was so handsome.

Deciding your pace was too slow, the blonde grabbed your hip and roughly guided your core back and forth on his thigh. His noticeable bulge strained against the fabric of his elegant cadet gray pants – even undercover, he was as well-dressed as always. “Sabo, please…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you exactly what you want.” He unbuckled his belt and let his cock spring free, bouncing against his stomach and standing proudly at full hardness. Your pants were abruptly yanked down to your knees next. Sabo didn’t miss the chance to take off his glove and swipe a finger through your wet folds, making you shiver. “You’re already dripping.”

“You’re one to talk,” you smirked, playfully running your palm up his length and wiping away the precum beading at the top.  

“Such a fucking tease.” He groaned, pretty eyes darkening. “Lift your leg for me.” 

You kicked your pants off completely and did as you were told. Sabo hooked his hand under your knee, tilting your pelvis towards him for the best angle to fuck into you. Paused to adjust his cloak, making sure you were completely concealed, and looked around for any prying eyes. Once he was satisfied with your relative privacy, he lined up his cock with your entrance, tauntingly tapping the head against your puffy clit.

“Wait, Sabo. Condom.”

“Don’t have any.” He shrugged and your eyes widened. “What? They’re not exactly essential on an espionage mission.”

You frowned, but it was too late to find one now. “Just don’t cum inside, okay?”

“‘Course not.” He chuckled lightheartedly, contrasting with the rough way he thrust his dick inside your cunt, fully sheathing it inside in one go. It stretched out your pussy perfectly, hitting every sensitive spot inside you.

“Oh, fuck,” you whined, throwing your head back, realizing too late how loud you were and quickly covering your own mouth. Sabo’s gaze darkened with lust and a smug sense of pride that he made you cry out like a whore. 

“Weren’t you concerned about being caught?” The blonde snickered, grinding his hips against yours in slow circles. He yanked your hand away, pressed a chaste kiss against your lips, then thrust his removed glove in your mouth. Not caring that it would definitely be soaked in spit by the end. 

Sabo braced one hand on the wall next to your head and fucked you hard and fast, bullying your cunt and smacking his balls against your skin with every thrust. Even without any time pressure, this was how you normally had sex – he was always impatient and greedy to take whatever he wanted, and you were more than willing to give him everything. 

The filthy sound of your wet walls squelching around his cock and his debauched groans filled your ears. You clenched onto his overcoat for stability and buried your face in the crook of his neck, but he tangled his fingers in your hair and yanked your head back. “Eyes on me, remember?”

You nodded, unable to do anything but let out muffled moans around his glove. Eyes glazed over and drool dripped down your chin. Your fucked-out expression went straight to his cock and made him rut into you even faster, the tip of his dick kissing your cervix. Feeling himself getting close, he flicked your clit and rubbed tight circles on the bundle of nerves. He leaned forward to kiss a sensitive spot right under your jaw – you never told him that he couldn’t give you hickies.

“You gonna cum?” A rhetorical question. He could definitely feel how soaked you were around him, how you desperately met his thrusts and sucked his dick in even deeper. Your body would’ve collapsed long ago if he wasn’t there to pin you in place and use you like a fuckdoll. The blonde whispered absolute filth with interludes of praise into your ear to help you to the edge even faster. 

Divine pleasure consumed your body as you hit your peak, cunt tightening around Sabo’s cock and nearly causing him to empty his balls inside of you. He carefully restrained himself to honor your request – and he had a better idea, anyways.

Once the aftershocks of your orgasm had subsided and you descended back to reality, Sabo pulled out of you. His dick was angry red and painfully hard. After removing the sticky glove from your mouth, he commanded, “On your knees.”

Your shaky legs gave out and you sank to the ground, knees hitting the solid stone street hard enough to bruise, but you barely noticed. The blonde positioned his cock in front of your face and rapidly jerked off inches away from you. You opened your mouth obediently and he murmured “fuck” underneath his breath. 

He bit his lip hard enough to bleed when he came seconds later. Thick strings of white painted your face and barely landed in your mouth. You looked up at him with cum on your eyelashes, slightly annoyed but incredibly aroused. “Sorry,” he panted with a grin, and clearly not apologetic at all. “You’re just so goddamn sexy like this.”

You swallowed the drops of cum lucky enough to land in your mouth. Sabo wiped the rest off with his cloak — it was his mess to clean, after all – then pinched your cheek lovingly. He helped you fix your clothes and hair to make sure it didn’t look like you just had rough sex in a random alleyway. 

A muffled Transponder Snail rang in his coat pocket. He looked at you for permission, and you grinned and told him he could answer it. 

“I’ve been trying to reach you!” Koala’s annoyed voice shouted through the Snail. You were obviously too preoccupied to hear any of her previous attempts to call him. “Hack lost to some green-haired weirdo. Can you figure out a way to get inside the Colosseum? We need to find that underground port.”

Sabo quickly handed you the Snail. “Hi, Koala,” you giggled.

“Oh, hey! What are you doing here?” She brightened up immediately at the sound of your voice. There was a small pause as she took a moment to process, then the Snail mimicked her furious expression. “Sabo, what the hell? Really?!”

He laughed loudly. “I couldn’t help myself. But I’ll go now.”

“You better.” Koala grumbled, then said goodbye to you in a much nicer tone. 

The blonde turned to you apologetically, but you just smiled and said, “Go win the Flare-Flare Fruit. You deserve it.” Then gave him a good-luck peck on the cheek, which made his face light up into a giant grin. “And find Luffy while you’re at it!”

After the chaos of the day was over, Sabo met you and the Straw Hats at Kyros’s house, where you were finally able to sit down and chat for a while. Before he left, he repeated his promise that he’d see you again no matter what. 

[bogleech]

I have to say it does make me really depressed and even more worried for the future that any human being is actually capable of thinking we should eliminate all forms of violence from all wild animal species. The first time I saw someone saying this I thought they were satirizing PETA or something, inventing an extreme conclusion to animal rights as a joke. Now I know it's a real philosophical movement increasingly popular with a bunch of rich tech people who go around giving speeches at universities about how we should just flood the natural world with GMO's to try and "herbivorize predators," wipe out all parasites, cure all disease, eliminate aging and remove just all forms of pain or even competition from all ecosystems. "But that will just DESTROY those ecosystems" you say. Yeah they know and they want that too. They call nature things like "The Darwinian House of Horrors" and dream of a future where the entire planet is a tightly controlled, deathless biotech zoo. "But we shouldn't worry because that's impossible anyway" yes, yes it is, but it's entirely possible to release genetically altered organisms into the wild and these people already talk about "starting small" with CRISPR experimentation. There's already corporations testing GM mosquitoes that can't bite anymore. As soon as any of these fuckoffs get access to enough money and backing they're going to attempt that with an eagle or a shark or a big cat, and they're probably going to find out the hard way that their idea won't work the way they want it to but in the meantime they'll quite possibly cause an extinction or two, and then they're going to just keep trying it again. This is in their little ted talks and thinkpieces. They think everything's already doomed anyway and that if they accidentally wipe out a species it just won't matter because extinctions are natural and at least that species is no longer suffering. They call their movement things like "compassionate biology" and "effective altruism," in case you're wondering what to look out for. They've got all sorts of web communities for it, like this one. but before you go thinking they're just animal rights fanatics, DON'T WORRY! They do in fact include humans in their plans! They think gene editing should also be put towards the eradication of all disability, neurodivergence, or maybe even "capacity for cruelty" in humans! They sit around wanking all day about their eugenicist dream zombie utopia :) :) :) did I mention lots of them are actually rich with actual corporate and academic connections lololol